Author: Mark A. Roeder
Date: 2024-02-14T00:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Fiction; Lgbtq+; Gay
Description: Corbin Cooper hopes to start over in the sleepy little town of Verona, Indiana, but he can’t entirely escape from the nightmares of his past. At sixteen, he’s the man of family and feels an obligation to secretly help provide for his mom and two younger brothers, but how can he do that working minimum wage jobs? The mistakes of Corbin’s past haunt him, as does the unknown fate of his older brother, Marc, who disappeared a year ago. Corbin begins to create a new life, but disturbing news begins to arrive from his old hometown; reports of boys he knows disappearing and then, being found dead. Co
Publisher: Self Published

Dark Angel

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Dark Angel

© 2024 Mark A. Roeder

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictionally. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners and no infringement is intended.

Photo Credits: Background: SparrowsHome@pixabay.com

Cover Design: Ken Clark

ISBN: 9798878230100

All Rights Reserved

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A Special Thanks to My Patrons

This book was made possible in part by my patrons on Patreon.com: Russell Harkins, Albert McCann, Victor Freeman, Mark Andrews, Robert Powell, John F Callow, John Smeallie, Paul Covert, Ken Clark, Jon Lukas, Martin Jaragosky, Markus Seemeier, Cameron Smith, David Manfredi, John Webb, Urban

Skeppstedt, Terry Jones, Andi, Evan Marshall, Dale Bay, Victor Thomas, Mark, Jerry Bradshaw, Yancey, Joshua Coleman, Ernest Clark, Douglas Rayner, Greg Howard, Jack, James Holtz, Tony Marquardt, Jim Hertwig, Daran Willis, John Hawk and Nick Diggs.

Want to Support My Books?

Patrons get the inside track on my novels, sneak peaks, serial novels and other perks. They even get to read my novels before they are purchased. Even if you can’t become a patron, check out my page because some posts are public. There is even a free trial period.

Check it out: https://www.patreon.com/user/posts?u=8324548 or go
to patreon.com and search for “gay youth novelist”.

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Acknowledgments

The amazing cover for this book was created by Ken Clark. He, along with Jim Adkinson, David Tedesco and Bruce Laidlaw, put a great deal of time and effort into correcting my numerous typos and other errors. I appreciate the hard work of each.

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Other Novels by Mark A. Roeder

Also look for audiobook versions on Amazon.com and Audible.com Blackford Gay Youth Chronicles:

Outfield Menace

Snow Angel

The Nudo Twins

The Very Troublesome Ghoulish Bizarre Boy

Phantom World

Second Star to the Right

The Perfect Boy

Verona Gay Youth Chronicles:

Dark Angel

Ugly

Beautiful

The Soccer Field Is Empty

Someone Is Watching

A Better Place

The Summer of My Discontent

Disastrous Dates & Dream Boys

Just Making Out

Temptation University*

Scarecrows

Scotty Jackson Died… But Then He Got Better

The Antichrists

Bloomington Boys—Brandon & Dorian*

Bloomington Boys—Nathan & Devon*

Lawn Boy

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Bloomington Boys—Scotty & Casper*

Two Boys & A Funeral

Bloomington Boys—Tim & Marc*

Bloomington Boys—Elijah & Haakon*

Bloomington Boys—Banshee*

Brendan & Casper

Someone Is Killing the Gay Boys of Verona

Keeper of Secrets

Masked Destiny

Do You Know That I Love You

Altered Realities

Dead Het Boys

Dead Boys of Verona

This Time Around

The Graymoor Mansion Bed and Breakfast

Shadows of Darkness

Heart of Graymoor

Come Back to Me

Skye & Colin

Marshall Mulgrew’s Supernatural Mysteries

Christmas in Graymoor Mansion

The Fat Kid

Brendan & Casper: Older & Better

Light in the Darkness

Transitions

Three Months

Dream Lives

Farm Boys

Wicked Intent

Second Chances*

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There and Back Again: An Adventurous Boys Holiday Big Brothers

The Worst Swap Ever

Lost in Tydannon: The Battle for Holbytlaton

Bloomington Gay Youth Chronicles

A Triumph of Will

Temptation University*

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Yesterday’s Tomorrow

Boy Trouble

The New Bad Ass in Town

Bloomington Boys—Brandon & Dorian*

Bloomington Boys—Nathan & Devon*

Bloomington Boys—Scotty & Casper*

Bloomington Boys—Tim & Marc*

Bloomington Boys—Elijah & Haakon*

Bloomington Boys—Banshee*

Phantom Begins

Peralta’s Bike Shop

Hate at First Sight

Born Too Late

Colin University

The Youngest Frat Bro Ever

A Boy Toy for Christmas

Purrfect Book and Curiosity Shoppe

Hoosier Boys

Second Chances*

*Crossover novels that fit into two series

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Adam Bluestone Novels:

Teen Idol Secrets

Falling Star

Take Two

Suddenly Real

Other Novels:

Cadets of Culver

Lake Maxinkuckee Summer

Benji & Clyde

Fierce Competition

The Vampire’s Heart

Homo for the Holidays

For more information on current and upcoming novels go to markroeder.com.

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Rome, Texas

1972

Dean stood across the street staring at me with cold hateful eyes. Despite the heat and humidity, I felt a chill as I climbed into our broken-down station wagon. Charles began to read and Mikey to fidget in the back seat as Mom started the car.

As we pulled away, my eyes were not on the home I’d grown up in. Instead, I kept them on Dean and his malevolent gaze. The mere sight of him filled me with fear and dread. As we passed, he smiled at me, making me wonder if I was truly safe from him.

Perhaps a few hundred miles wouldn’t be enough to save me.

Dean’s form grew ever smaller as Mom drove down the street and then disappeared entirely as she turned the corner. Mom drove through the town where the drama that was my life had played out.

Soon, we turned onto the highway and headed north, leaving Rome and all that had happened there behind.

Or, so I hoped.

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Chapter One

Verona, Indiana

August 1972

What a dump.

“It looks bigger than our house in Texas,” Charles said, likely trying to find something, anything, nice to say about our new home.

My younger brother was like that around our mom, but we all tried to make her shitty life more pleasant.

“Is it haunted? It looks haunted,” asked Mikey, my eleven-year-old brother.

“Don’t be ridiculous. There is no such thing as a ghost,” said Charles, who was fourteen and considered himself an expert on everything. “How far are we from the library?”

“I don’t know, Dear, but Verona is a small town. It can’t be far.”

“Maybe there isn’t a library,” I said, attempting to scare Charles.

“There is. I asked at the library back home.”

“Of course, you did,” I said sarcastically. “This is a small place. It probably only has two books.”

“Please try not to be funny, Corbin,” Charles said, looking down his nose at me. I glared at him behind mom’s back.

“Let’s go check it out,” Mom said.

“Just how old is this house?” I asked as we walked up to the one-story monstrosity with the huge porch.

“It’s a Craftsman. It was built around 1912.”

More like Crapsman.

“I like it,” Charles said.

“I still think it’s haunted.”

“It’s not haunted, Shrimp,” I said.

“Grr!” Mikey said, giving me what he called his grimace of death. He actually looked a lot like a skinny teddy bear when he glared like that, but I always pretended to be afraid. I tried to be nice to my youngest brother.

His life sucked. All our lives sucked.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought!” he said.

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“Needs painting,” I said as we walked up on the wide porch.

Just like our house back home.

“It needs a lot of work, but this house is ours, part of it anyway. The bank owns most of it, but the payments are less than our rent in Texas.”

“We own this?” Mikey asked.

“Yes.”

“Cool!”

Mikey rushed in as soon as Mom unlocked the door. He had apparently forgotten about ghosts.

“Holy fuck.”

“Corbin.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Isn’t it wonderful?”

Uh. No!

“It’s… unique?” I said, trying not to sound as disappointed as I felt.

At least it’s not in Texas.

Mom walked over to the fireplace, dusted off a space on the mantel and took out a small framed photo of my older brother, Marc, sitting on the couch, his arms spread wide over the back with a smile that was somehow also a smirk on his face. Mom trailed her finger across the glass, sighed, then turned to us.

“All the furniture in the house is original. I think the wallpaper and carpets are, too. I’ve always wanted to own a house like this.”

“Well, great then. Your dream has been achieved,” I said, taking in the threadbare carpets and flowered wallpaper.

This was her dream?

“You could be a little less sarcastic, Corbin,” Mom said.

“I can’t argue with that, but I’m glad you’re happy, Mom.”

She smiled at me. I was glad. She deserved happiness and I needed to do a better job helping her achieve it.

The furniture was mostly wooden, heavy and dark. Everything was worn as if it had been used forever, but I guess it had. What this room needed was orange shag carpet, a few bean bag chairs and a lava lamp, but that required money we did not have.

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Mom led us into the kitchen, which was so much worse than the living room it almost made it look good.

“It looks like a museum,” I said.

“What the heck is that?” Mikey asked, pointing to a metal rectangle with a round thing on the top.

“A refrigerator,” Charles said, as if everyone should know.

“That?” I asked.

I walked over to it and opened the door. It was cold inside, so I guessed he was right. It was much smaller than our refrigerator in Texas.

“Look at this stove!” Mom said proudly.

“Yeah, look at it,” I said, failing to keep the horror out of my voice.

“Just wait until I get it cleaned up. I bet it’s from the 1920’s. Cooking with gas is so much better, too.”

I could see it now. We were all fated to die in a huge gas explosion. At least it would be quick. There were worse ways to perish.

Mom looked around the room as if it was her dream kitchen instead of a nightmare from the past. This house was haunted by old furniture and appliances that should have been tossed out way before I was born.

“Everyone follow me. I am assigning bedrooms. You each get your own. There will be no arguments.”

“Hey, we haven’t argued since… what time is it?” I asked.

“You are getting the rooms I’ve picked out for you and that is that.

Corbin, this one is yours,” Mom said when we stopped at the first door in the short hallway off the kitchen.

“It’s… great,” I said.

I walked into my room while the rest of my family went on. There was a double-bed, dresser, closet, a desk and chair by one of the two windows and even a big chair like one of those in the living room.

I wrinkled my nose as I walked across the carpet, which was moss green with red roses. The colors were dull, but were perhaps once bright.

It was so worn down in one spot I could see the backing.

My new, and I use the word with extreme mockery, bedroom was larger than the room I’d shared with my brothers in Texas and, I had it all to

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myself. There was that. It was also… well, that was it for the positive points.

I didn’t think I was going to like this place, but anywhere was better than Texas. My life had been decent for a few years, but then shit fell apart. I made some mistakes, some bad mistakes. I shuddered.

You made it out alive. You can be happy about that, even if everything else sucks. Life has to be better here. It couldn’t possibly be worse.

I knew Mom had come from this place, but we had no family here, just like we had no family anywhere. She’d lined up a crappy job, the first now that her health had improved somewhat, but what the hell was I supposed to do? Mow lawns? Bus tables? Fuck that! I doubted she could bring in enough to keep us going and how was I supposed to help in this tiny town in the middle of nothing?

The one good thing about Rome was that I knew the score. I had contacts. I had ways to make cash and I was able to keep things together, but here, everything was an unknown. I had to start back at square one.

Now that Mom felt a bit better, she seemed to think she could become super Mom. The world didn’t work like that.

She’s trying to escape, just like you.

How could my mom escape when she packed up her pain with the rest of our meagre belongings? She should have left the photo of Marc in Texas. Then again, there are some things you can’t forget, no matter how badly you want to do so.

The window where the desk sat looked out onto a large backyard. The other looked directly into the window of the house next door. This wasn’t even close to the bedroom I wanted, but better than I expected, or deserved.

I walked over and gazed into the mirror. Could I have a different life here? I looked the same. Brown hair, blue eyes, tall for my age, but skinny. I was handsome enough, but not truly good-looking. At least I didn’t think so. I sighed. Life could be worse.

I walked through the rest of house after checking out my bedroom. My brother’s rooms were similar to mine, except smaller and with no view of the backyard. I definitely had the best room, but that wasn’t saying much.

It would be nice to have my own space. I was sixteen and not a kid like my brothers.

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The house was quite large for only one story. In addition to the four bedrooms, living room and kitchen, there was a dining room and at the back a laundry room, if one could call it that. There was no dryer, only a washing machine, the likes of which I had never seen. There was a hose on one side, but it wasn’t attached to anything except the bottom of the machine. At the back, there were a pair what looked like rolling pins. I had no clue how it was used to wash clothes, but feared I’d find out. I doubted there was even a laundromat in his pathetic town.

***

“I’m going to check out the neighborhood,” I said, after we’d unloaded the back of the station wagon, which contained all our possessions. The task did not take long, believe you me.

“Be back in a couple of hours.”

“Yes, Mother.”

Seriously. I was not an eight-year-old .

“I want to go, too!” Mikey said.

“Well… I hoped you’d go the grocery with me. We need everything and I could use help,” Mom said.

“I’ll go with you then!”

I gave my mom a silent smile of thanks. The last thing I wanted was Mikey tagging along.

“Can I go to the library? I want to get a library card,” Charles said.

“Yes, but make sure you’re back in a couple of hours, too.”

Charles and I departed and headed for what passed for a downtown.

“I hope the library isn’t too small,” Charles said.

“Could you try not to be such a nerd, Charles? That will get you beat up here just as fast as it did in Texas. Listen, no one knows us here. I know books are your escape, but try not to be such a freak, okay?”

“Bite my ass, Corbin.”

“I’m trying to help you, dumb ass. You need to try to fit in and not be such a weirdo. Try a sport or…”

“A sport? Seriously? Me? Join a team?”

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“Okay, maybe not, but join a club or whatever. Get involved with something and make some friends and allies before you get marked as a nerd and a freak. This is your chance to remake yourself. Try not to come off as such a loser.”

“I suppose you’ll be taking your own advice. You’ll join a team or a club instead of lurking around doing god knows what?”

“Shut up! Someone has to support this family! I’ve been doing so since I was your age and before. What I do is none of your damn business!”

“Maybe you won’t have to do that now. Mom is better. She has a job.

You can do stuff you want to do instead. Like you said, it’s a chance to start over.”

“Don’t be naïve. You think Mom can magically support us now that she found a crappy ass job that likely pays next to nothing? Texas was a hell hole, but I had things set up there. I have to start all over now and this crappy town is so small, I don’t see how I can make enough cash to help us. Don’t you understand, Charles? Financially, we’re fucked.”

You’d have been worse than fucked if you stayed in Texas much longer.

“Then what does it matter if I’m marked as a nerd?”

“There’s no reason to make it harder on yourself. Do you enjoy getting beat up? You’re awfully dumb for someone who is supposed to be so smart.”

Charles stalked off. I watched him go. He rarely listened to me.

Maybe if I wrote down what I was trying to tell him and stuck it between two covers, he’d pay attention. I sighed. He was a pain in the ass, but I was trying to help him. I cared about him, even if I wanted to smack him more often than not.

This neighborhood was different from where we lived before. The streets were clean and most of the houses looked nice. There was no one hanging around looking for trouble. Fights were common in Rome, not that I minded all the much. I was skinny, but tough. I could hold my own in a fight, usually.

I turned a corner and spotted an ancient dilapidated home that was far too big for such a small town. It wasn’t merely big, it was monstrously huge, more like a hotel or apartment building than a house. I knew Mikey would freak out when he saw it. He’d be sure it was haunted. The place

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looked like it had been empty forever, but none of the windows were broken. If it was in Rome, there wouldn’t be a pane of glass left and squatters would have moved in.

I kept walking. There truly wasn’t much here besides houses. I wondered about those who lived inside. What dark secrets were hidden behind the well-maintained facades? What twisted shit happened behind the doors? Nothing was as it seemed. Not the public face people put forward. Not athletic, golden-boy older brothers. Nothing. I knew it all too well.

I soon reached downtown, such as it was.

Two guys close to my age came out of a small restaurant called Café Moffatt. Both wore letterman’s jackets with a big V on them. One had black hair and the other sandy hair and both were handsome. One of them spotted me looking, smiled and said, “sup?”

“Hey,” I said.

That was our encounter. It was actually the best exchange I’d ever had with jocks. Even in our crappy high school, the jocks thought they were hot stuff and were generally jerks. This pair probably would be too if I crossed their path at school.

I watched them walk away. Both had nice butts. That was the one appeal of jocks. They were fit.

I looked up and down Main Street. The Green Dragon and The Iron Kettle were near the other restaurants. I could see Deerfield’s Auto Sales further up. There was an antique store, a barber, and some small shops.

There wasn’t much here. My options were few.

I needed time to think things out. Maybe Mom could… but that was dreaming and nothing more. There was no way she could support us. She was living in a fantasy that harsh reality would soon destroy. I had to find a way to help. We wouldn’t survive if I didn’t. It was up to me, again.

I put it out of my mind. Sometimes, it was best not to think of unpleasant things. I could see why Charles lost himself in books. Real life sucked. It was filled with problems, pain and ugliness. Too bad my brother wasn’t smart enough to hide his dreaming. Dreams belonged inside your head where no one could see them. Weakness and vulnerability equaled danger.

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I wandered down to the park. Perhaps I could turn up something there.

There were lots of trees, beds of flowers and paths that wandered among picnic tables and areas of grass. There was a restaurant called Ofarim’s across the street and another called The Park’s Edge. I wondered what genius came up with that name. At the far end of the park were basketball courts and beyond them paths that led into a wooded area.

I wondered what happened here at night. Did drug deals go down? Did older guys come to pick up younger? Right now, kids swung on the swings, families picnicked and a group of boys played hoops on the courts, but at night the park might well transform into something else entirely. I’d have to check it out.

Three boys neared, walking in the opposite direction. I tensed, but they didn’t look like the dangerous sort. They were around my age. Two were slim, one with black hair tied back into a ponytail and the other with long straight black hair that hung free. Both wore bellbottoms and both were good-looking, but not nearly as handsome as the third. His hair was blond, long and straight with blue eyes. I’d long had a thing for blond boys. I had blue eyes, not so different from his, but my hair was brown and I was slim where this boy was muscular. He wore tight jeans and carried a denim jacket over one shoulder. The front of my jeans grew tighter as I checked him out.

The blond nodded to me as he passed. I looked back. Nice ass. The blond looked back as well and caught me looking. I held his gaze for a moment, then turned and walked on.

I was back home long before anyone else. I used the time to unpack.

The trash bags and boxes were mostly filled with clothing and not all that much of it. My prize possession was my record player. The speakers weren’t the best and I had to tap the volume knob to get any sound, but at least I could play my albums. I dreamed of owning an 8-track tape player, but there was no way I could afford that. What I truly wanted was an 8-track player installed in a Camaro. That I most certainly could not afford, but I could dream.

I unpacked my albums; KISS, Fleetwood Mac, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and more. I had a decent collection. Albums were my number one request for Christmas and birthday presents and I bought them for myself when I could. I liked music almost as much as Charles

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liked books. Music was my escape. Yeah, I understood my little brother. If only he could be less a nerd and much less an annoyance.

I put on Destroyer, one of my favorite KISS albums. Yeah, this was more like it. I began to chill as I stuffed socks and underwear into the unfamiliar dresser and hung shirts and jeans in the large closet. I next put up some of the photos of various rock bands I’d cut from magazines, which much improved the appearance of the room. If I could get rid of all the old crappy furniture and replace it with something cool, it could be a nice room. That wasn’t likely to happen anytime soon, or at all, but I could dream about that, too. Until then, I’d make the best of it. That’s what my life was about, making the best of it. I knew I was lucky simply to be alive.

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Chapter Two

Verona High School was small, really small, far smaller than my high school in Texas. I entered with my brother, but we almost immediately split up as we headed to our first period classes.

No one glared at me. None of the guys looked as if they were sizing me up. None of them looked like he was thinking of kicking my ass. We’d had no trouble on the way to school. I wasn’t sure how to act. It wasn’t possible for life to be this peaceful. I suspected something was up. Maybe it was their way of luring newcomers into a false sense of security. I’d let my guard down, then they’d grab me, tie me up and sacrifice me to their god. Okay, probably not, but in my experience, anything that seemed too good to be true was exactly that.

I did not look forward to being the new kid, but at least this was the beginning of a new school year. Even so, I was alone without allies or buds. I knew I had to watch it.

I put on my confident face and played it cool, but not enough to look like I was playing it cool. First impressions were extremely important.

Weakness was something I dared not show, but I had to be careful not to appear to think I was tough stuff. I was tough, as anyone who tangled with me would soon learn, but I wasn’t dumb enough to look for trouble.

The hallway was filled with kids, mostly better dressed than me, but it was like that back in Texas. The hallway wasn’t as crowded either. Pretty much everyone was white here. I spotted only two black kids and one Hispanic as I sought out my locker. Everyone looked a bit too much alike.

The sameness was weird and that weirdness made me uneasy.

My locker opened on my first try. I dumped the books I’d picked up when Mom registered us for school and headed for my first period class. I found it with ease. My life at Verona High School had begun.

Girls checked me out as I walked past. I didn’t like that at all, partly because I wasn’t much interested in girls, but mostly because it might make other guys jealous, especially if any of the girls had a boyfriend and that equaled trouble. I was an expert when it came to trouble.

“You must be Corbin. Welcome to Verona High School,” said my 1st period teacher, the moment I entered his classroom. “I’m Mr.

Shakespeare.”

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“Yeah, thanks.”

Seriously? My lit teacher’s name was Shakespeare? This town was weird.

“Let’s get the agonizing part over with.”

Before I could ask what he meant, Mr. Shakespeare guided me to the front of the room.

“If I can have everyone’s attention,” he said, as students continued to enter. “This is Corbin. He’s new so I’m required to torment him by pointing that out.”

“You like tormenting students!”

I looked in the direction of the voice and spotted the hottest, handsomest guy ever, with blond hair, blue eyes and a chest that tightly stretched the front of his shirt under his letterman’s jacket. Merely gazing at him made me breathe harder.

“Thank you for pointing that out, Jerry. I must admit it’s true.”

Jerry smiled and took a seat, then turned his smile on me and flipped his head back in greeting. I smiled back before I could stop myself. My heart raced.

“I hope everyone will welcome Corbin. He’s from Texas.”

I looked darkly at Mr. Shakespeare. I truly did not need this attention.

“You can take the desk beside Victor, Corbin,” Mr. Shakespeare said, pointing to a muscular boy with dark ginger hair and green eyes.

Victor turned to me as I sat and flipped his head back in greeting as Jerry had done. Up close, his eyes were the most amazing shade of green. I tried not to stare at his ripped bod. His biceps looked ready to tear his shirt sleeves and his chest looked ready to do the same to the front of his shirt. I was glad I was sitting because between Victor and Jerry, I was seriously hard.

Mr. Shakespeare smiled at me and I became uneasy. He was being especially nice and it made me suspicious.

I put it out of my mind as class began.

I continued through my morning. It was absurdly simple to find my classes, even though the building was unfamiliar. I wasn’t at all accustomed to attending such a small school. Even my grade school in Texas was bigger than this.

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After my last morning class, I faced what was perhaps the biggest challenge of the day—the school cafeteria. As the new guy, I had no idea where to sit. I didn’t know the territories that had been staked out or where it was and was not safe to roam.

I projected confidence and ease as I walked into the cafeteria. I trembled slightly with anxiety, but didn’t let it show. What happened in the next few minutes was critical. It could make or break me.

I joined the line and spotted Jerry up ahead of me. I could only see him from the shoulders up from behind, but he was still seriously hot. He talked to those around him with ease and even made the lunch ladies laugh as he went through the line. I wanted to be him.

I exited the line with my tray of a grilled cheese sandwich, tomato soup, mixed vegetables, salad and vanilla cake. I had come to the critical moment. Where to sit?

“Corbin, come with me please,” Mr. Shakespeare said as he gripped my shoulder.

I wasn’t sure what was going on as he led me across the cafeteria. We didn’t stop until we reached a table that included Jerry and other jocks.

“Gentlemen, and I use the term loosely, I thought Corbin should sit with you today since he does not yet know how to navigate the minefield that is the cafeteria. Be nice to him or I will fail you all.”

“I can fail on my own with no help from you,” said one of the boys I’d spotted coming out of Café Moffatt on the day I arrived in Verona. The other sat beside him.

“I’m sure you can, Daniel. It’s one of your many talents.”

“You’re hilarious, Mr. Shakespeare.”

“I like to think so.”

The teacher departed, leaving me standing there.

“Park it,” said a built blond guy, indicating the spot next to him. As soon as I sat, he leaned in close. “Be careful of Shakespeare. He likes boys. You know what I mean?”

“You mean he…”

“Ricky, quit fucking with the new guy. Mr. Shakespeare is cool, probably the coolest teacher in the school.”

“Like that means much,” Ricky said.

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“He seems okay, but I didn’t much appreciate being pulled up in front of my lit class,” I said.

“It’s better than everyone staring at you. So, what’s your story? Are you really from Texas, or did Mr. Shakespeare make that up? I’m Bruce by the way.”

“I’m from Rome.”

“So, you’re not from Texas? You don’t look all that Italian,” said Bruce, who was the other boy I’d spotted outside Café Moffatt and was also in my first period lit class.

“There are other towns called Rome, dufus.”

“The name is Bruce, not dufus.”

“You’ll always be a dufus to me.”

“Blow me, Daniel.”

“Pass.”

“I’m from the Rome in Texas.”

“Watch it guys. He’s probably packing six-shooters.”

“I’m the one who is packing, Joe.”

“You keep dreaming about that, Bruce.”

“No, you keep dreaming about it. You know you want it.”

“Shut it, Bitch.”

The guys laughed.

“Let Corbin talk. What was Rome like?” Ricky asked.

“Much bigger than Verona. It’s a suburb of Houston. It’s not an especially exciting place, unless you like to get into trouble, then there’s much more to do.”

“But, you didn’t get in trouble at all, did you?” Daniel asked.

“Well… the cops knew my name.”

“Watch it guys, he’s a tough one,” Ricky said.

“Verona can get rough, too. One time, this old lady sneered at me as I walking to school,” Bruce said.

“She probably smelled your breath,” Daniel said.

“Ha. Ha. Fuck you.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, I’m not interested.”

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“That’s not what I’ve heard.”

“You’ll get used to them,” Jerry said. It was the first time he’d spoken.

Damn, he was sexy.

“Rome sounds like a rough place,” Joe said.

“There was a lot of crime. I was mugged a couple times.”

“Verona is a little less dangerous,” Daniel said.

“It’s boring!” Bruce said.

“He’s right. It’s boring.”

“Except when we’re around!” Daniel said and put his arm around Bruce, who grinned stupidly, no doubt on purpose.

“True, but it smells better when they aren’t here.”

“Shut it, Joe.”

“So, what are you guys, football players?” I asked.

“I am insulted. I’m a soccer player!” Bruce said.

“Being a soccer player is an insult. Most of us are football players and wrestlers. Those who are too weak and puny play soccer,” Ricky said.

“Oh, if I wasn’t busy eating this grilled cheese, I would come down there and kick your ass, Ricky,” Bruce said.

“I’m terrified.”

“Yeah, I know you are.”

“You should join our team,” Ricky said.

“Uh, you can see me, right? I’m skinny, most of you guys look like you could lift a truck.”

“I lifted a bus once!” Daniel said.

“Your Matchbox toy doesn’t count,” Bruce said.

“You don’t have bulk, but you look strong. You could still play,” Jerry said.

“I don’t know. I need to find a job to help out my mom. My dad split long ago and I have two younger brothers.”

“Well, that sucks ass,” Ricky said.

“Just like…”

“If you say it, I will smack the crap out of you, Daniel,” Bruce said.

“...other things that suck ass,” Daniel finished.

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“Maybe you can do both. We’re always looking for new guys for the team.”

“Don’t do it, Corbin. They will do unspeakable things to you in the locker room,” Bruce said.

“No, that’s the soccer players,” Joe said.

“Hey, that’s a secret initiation. You peeked!” Bruce said.

Ricky shook his head.

“I do appreciate the invitation guys, and thanks for letting me sit here.”

“We figure since we let Bruce and Daniel sit here, we might as well let anyone,” Ricky said.

“Yeah, we’ve lowered our standards,” Jerry said.

“I think we’ve been insulted!” Daniel said.

“If they were smarter, they’d know they’ve been insulted,” Jerry said.

“Oh! If I understood that, I’d be so mad!” Bruce said, making me laugh.

“So, I take it this is the jock table,” I said.

“Yeah, this is where the jocks sit... and Daniel and Bruce. Soccer isn’t a real sport, but we let these two sit with us because no one likes them and we feel sorry for them,” Ricky said.

“Hey! Soccer is more of a sport than football. All you guys do is pat each other’s butts. During wrestling season, they grab each other’s dicks,”

Bruce said.

“That happens sometimes when wrestling. What I want to know is why you soccer guys do the same thing so often,” Ricky said.

“Okay, that’s a good one,” Daniel said, looking at Bruce. He stood up and bowed to Ricky. “I bow to your wit. Crap, we’ve got to go.”

Bruce looked at his watch.

“Yep, see you guys later.”

“Not if we see you first,” Ricky said.

“I take back my bow!” Daniel said.

“Are those guys, like… okay?” I asked after they’d departed.

“You mean, are they all there upstairs?” Jerry asked.

“Yes.”

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“They only act crazy,” Joe said. “We do think they might be homos.

They’re always together and they’re really tight.”

“I sure hope they are. The more homos the better as far as I’m concerned. I know that’s a completely different attitude than most have, but I have my reasons,” Ricky said.

“Oh?” Joe asked.

“Yeah, the more guys who are into guys, the more girls for me!”

“I guess if they’re desperate enough,” Jerry said.

“Fuck you,” Ricky said.

“Something you want to tell us, Ricky?” Joe asked.

“Blow me.”

“You wish.”

Homo put downs were obviously as popular here as Texas, although I hadn’t heard the word, ‘fag’ yet. I always wondered how many of those who taunted, jeered and joked about gays were into guys, more than a few I was willing to bet.

“This is so different from my school in Texas. It’s much less tense. A lot of guys carried brass knuckles or knives,” I said.

“All I’m packing is a huge dick,” Joe said.

“We’ve seen it,” Jerry said and shook his head. Joe flipped him off.

“Did you?” Ricky asked.

“Carry a weapon? Yeah, I had a switchblade.”

And it once saved my life. I shivered at the memory, then quickly blocked it.

“Shit.”

I didn’t tell them I had it in my pocket now. I was beginning to feel I wouldn’t need it here.

“So, no one carries something like that here?” I asked.

“I have a pocketknife. A lot of guys likely do, but not as a weapon,”

Joe said.

“There could be someone who does, but I’ve never heard about it,”

Ricky said.

“This is a different world. It’s going to take me a while to adjust to small town life.”

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“You have something against small towns, city boy?” Ricky asked.

“No. I think it might be kind of boring here, but I like the idea of not having to be on guard all the time.”

“Guys get into fights here, but it’s no big thing. There was one right before summer vacation. Billy and Bobby tangled after Billy’s girl cheated on him with Bobby,” Joe said.

“Yeah, Mr. Shakespeare and Mr. Ellis had to pull them apart and Billy and Bobby were still screaming at each other and trying to get to each other. It was hilarious,” Jerry said.

The bell rang, ending lunch.

“Think about joining the team. We’d love to have you,” Ricky said.

“Yeah, if you join a team, go for football. Don’t join the soccer fags,”

Joe said.

Ah. There it was. I wondered how long it would be before I heard the word.

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

I felt a lot better about Verona High School as I headed for my afternoon classes. I’d met some guys and they seemed cool and, more importantly, cool with me. I had Mr. Shakespeare to thank for that. Maybe he was just trying to help, but he seemed a little on the creepy side.

I was still the new boy in my afternoon classes, but it wasn’t as bad as the morning. I was beginning to see familiar faces and a few kids recognized me. I drew a lot of attention from girls, which I didn’t like, but there wasn’t much I could do about that.

One of my afternoon classes was drama. I probably should have taken art instead, but I knew I sucked at drawing. Drama seemed like it might be an easy class where I hopefully wouldn’t have to listen to a teacher drone on.

The sexy blond boy I’d spotted in the park was in my class. He noticed me almost immediately and smiled. I gave him a tentative smile back, but I didn’t want to appear too nice. That was generally not a good idea. When the teacher, Mr. Ellis, called roll, I learned the blond’s name was Eddie.

Victor, the seriously built boy with dark ginger hair and green eyes from first period was here, too. He looked like a football player, but he hadn’t been sitting at the jock table.

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Ugh. The class sounded like more work than I’d imagined when Mr.

Ellis told us what we’d be doing this semester. It was plenty boring, too, but hopefully it would get better once we got into it. The first day of any class was usually a snooze fest.

My last class of the day was P.E. While the other guys headed into the locker room to change, Mr. Jenkins, who was my P.E. teacher as well as my world civ teacher, instructed me to follow him. I was uneasy as he led me into a large storage area off the hallway that led to the locker room, especially when he led me back to where there was a washer and dryer. We were completely hidden from view. He looked me up and down and I thought he was about to make a move on me when he turned to a set of shelves filled with boxes. He pulled out a shirt and held it up to my chest.

“I think this one will fit. What size pants do you wear?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Here you go. You can use any empty locker. Go change.”

I relaxed as I headed for the locker room, but I didn’t trust older guys. I knew most of them were predators.

Most of the guys had already changed and were gone, but I quickly found an unclaimed locker, stripped to my underwear and put on the uniform.

I liked having gym as my last class. It was kind of like a vacation after the others. I was not a jock, but I was fit and stronger than I looked.

Running had never been a problem and neither were calisthenics. I figured it would be the same here.

I caught sight of Jerry as I walked out into the gym. I immediately liked this class even more. Damn, he looked good in his white and blue VHS Phys Ed tee-shirt and shorts. It was my first chance to see him without his jacket and was he fit! I could make out his muscles even through his shirt. After class, I’d likely get to see him shirtless, and even naked. I was beginning to truly love VHS.

I was lucky enough to stand behind Jerry while we did calisthenics.

The rear view was fine, but my dick began to lengthen and flex, so I had to quit checking out his fine ass.

We began a unit on volleyball, which I found boring, but playing was easy enough. The scenery was nice and I don’t mean only Jerry. There were other good looking boys. Eddie in particular caught my attention. He

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had a slim build like me, but wasn’t as tall. With his long straight blond hair and beautiful features, he was a dream.

Snap out of it, Corbin. Showing too much interest in another boy isn’t a good idea anywhere.

I’d always been careful in Texas, going so far as to hurl the vilest fag comments I could come up with. I even lied and claimed to have bashed queers for kicks, which was one reason I wondered how many guys who were down on homos actually were homos.

I was one. At least, I didn’t think I was into girls. They didn’t cause my dick to react like guys, so I figured that was a good sign. It fucked with my head at first. I didn’t want to be “one of those,” but then I decided why should I care if the assholes around me were down on homos? Most of them would probably fuck their sister if they got the chance.

I was a fag, so what? I was willing to bet I’d hooked up more than any of these guys. Back in Texas, I had a select few buds I could have fun with. Here, I had no one, but I was still glad to get away from my old hometown. Rome had a seedier side, a dark side.

A feeling of anxiety and danger pressed down upon me. The enormous gym seemed to decrease to the size of a small living room with all those inside squeezed in together. I nervously rubbed my wrists and then began to breathe harder. I totally ignored the ball that came toward me and smacked on the floor.

“Come on, new kid! Pay attention!” shouted one of my teammates.

I fought to get my breathing under control.

You’re being ridiculous. Snap out of it, dumb ass.

I shook my head to clear it. The next time the ball came at me, I hit it back across the net, but the uneasy feeling in my gut would not go away.

Ride it out. The feeling will pass. You’re okay.

We lost the game and most of my teammates acted as if it was entirely my fault. I guess it was to a point. I’d made no friends in this class. The worst thing was that Jerry and Eddie witnessed my screw up.

I forgot about that as we headed to the locker room and stripped. I got my first sight of Jerry’s naked ass. Damn! He turned and… damn again!

He was seriously hot and I was seriously in lust. His body was smooth, muscled and perfectly shaped. The sight of him made me want to…

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I turned toward my locker. I could not continue looking at him, both because the other boys would notice and because I was getting hard.

I willed myself to calm down. That didn’t work as well as I would have liked, but well enough I could walk to the showers.

Showering with other boys had always turned me on, but I’d become pretty good at hiding that fact. I stole looks without letting my gaze linger and shifted to random thoughts to keep my dick from getting hard. I wanted to stare at Jerry as he showered near me, the hot water flowing down over his incredible body, but I only stole brief glimpses. That was quite enough to make my nuts ache.

I checked out Eddie, too. His body was similar to mine, slim but firm and well-shaped. I especially liked his tiny little nipples. He had a nice butt, too, and even wet and sticking to the sides of his face, his long, straight blond hair was sexy.

I made it out of the showers without getting any stiffer than I was when I went in. I felt more at ease after I got my underwear and jeans on. I didn’t bother controlling my thoughts after that, but I was careful not to look around too much. I did look at Jerry more than I should have, but no one seemed to notice.

I walked out of the locker room, through the gym and out the back of the building. Kids with cars were beginning to leave. I watched as Jerry walked to a sweet turquoise van and climbed in. Damn, he had everything.

“Jerry Bradshaw is the football star of VHS and all around golden boy if you’re wondering. He also isn’t an asshole like you’d think he would be.”

I turned. It was Eddie.

“I was… uh… checking out his van.”

“Right. We haven’t formally met. I’m Eddie. I’m not a football star or even a player and not a golden boy, but also not an asshole,” he said with a slight grin.

“I’m Corbin,” I said, gazing into his amazing blue eyes.

“Yeah, I know. You’re from Texas, apparently a member of a gang, escaping to Verona to hide from the cops because you killed a kid in a knife fight.”

“Well, at least one of those is correct.”

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“Oh, mystery. I like it.”

“Did you really hear all that about me?” I asked.

“Oh yeah. You’re new so there will be lots of rumors circulating about you in the next few days. I also heard you’re a cowboy, your dad owns an oil company, that you’re joining the football team, you have a kid and that you’re in the witness protection program.”

“The guys are trying to get me to join the team, but I don’t think it’s for me. Seriously, do I look like a football player?”

“I can’t say that you do,” Eddie said, looking me up and down.

“I’m heading home. Hey, you don’t know where I could find a job, do you?”

“I’ll walk with you,” Eddie said, inviting himself along.

I shrugged and began walking with Eddie at my side. He seemed okay and he was definitely easy on the eyes.

“I don’t know of any jobs. As you might have noticed, Verona doesn’t have a lot of businesses. That pretty much leaves odd jobs and babysitting.”

“This does not sound promising.”

“Welcome to Verona.”

“Is there anything to do around here?”

“Watch sports events if you’re into that. At this time of year there’s swimming in ponds, playing basketball in the park and stuff like that.

Verona is pretty much excitement free.”

“That’s what I feared.”

“I guess there’s plenty to do in Texas.”

“If you’re rich, sure, but if you’re not all there is to do is fight and get in trouble.”

“Did you?”

“I got in fights all the time, often even with friends. Sometimes, I had no choice and sometimes, I simply felt like fighting.”

“So, you’re tough?”

“Not especially. That’s how guys are, you know.”

“Not so much around here. I’m not like that. I’ve never been in a fight.”

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“Really?”

“No.”

“I was getting into fights before I started school.”

“Did you get in a lot of trouble in Texas, too?”

“Oh yeah. There was plenty of trouble to get into; exploring abandoned buildings, busting out windows, mooning cops, shop lifting, drugs. You name it and it was going on.”

“Did you do any of that?”

“Yeah, more than I should have.”

“Oh! I’ve always liked bad boys. You’re not going to beat me up, are you?” Eddie teased.

“I wasn’t planning on it, but I’ll warn you now, I’m not a nice guy.”

“You seem pretty nice to me.”

“Well, I’m not okay!” I snapped.

“Dude, chill.”

Yes, chill, dumb ass.

“Sorry. I’ve done things I’m not proud of and I’ve been in plenty of trouble. No offense, but you seem rather innocent and naïve.”

“I’m not so innocent,” Eddie said, giving me a mischievous grin.

“Just don’t expect me to be some goody goody nice guy because I’m not,” I said.

“I consider myself warned.”

“Okay, but you hang around me at your own risk.”

“You know, you’re only making me more interested in you.”

“That was not my intention.”

“No, but that’s what’s happened. I like you.”

“You have poor taste, Eddie.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why do you want to hang out with me?” I asked, truly perplexed.

“As I said, I like you. I find you interesting and you have the prettiest eyes.”

I looked at Eddie and held his gaze for a moment before looking ahead.

That was not something one boy said to another. Was he flirting with me or

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just digging for dirt he could use to spread rumors about the new kid?

“You must really have nothing to do here,” I said.

“We have brief flashes of excitement, but otherwise it’s pretty boring. I think most small towns are like that, city boy.”

“I wouldn’t mind a little boring. Excitement isn’t always fun.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Trust me.”

Eddie nodded. He was so handsome and I’d always liked blond boys.

“Well, this is my street. See you tomorrow?” Eddie asked.

“Most likely.”

“Cool. Later.”

“Later.”

I watched him walk away. He had a nice butt, small, but nice.

I walked on, trying to ignore the ache in my nuts. That last period gym class was going to be a problem, not the class itself, but some of the boys in it, especially Jerry.

I sighed. I needed to put him out of my mind. He was out of my league. Even if I wanted to take a chance and try for him, I’d probably get bashed. He could kick my ass with ease.

I turned my thoughts to more pressing matters, helping Mom.

Mom wasn’t home yet when I arrived. She didn’t get off from her waitressing job at Café Moffatt until later. That was the “big” job that had brought us here. There were a thousand times more restaurants in Houston than here, but she said the cost of living was much lower in Verona.

I was pretty sure the real reason is that she wanted to get us out of Rome. I was no doubt the inspiration for that. I’d been in enough trouble at school and with the cops that she probably wanted to get me away from all that. She no doubt suspected my younger brothers would get in the same trouble, too. Charles was too much a pussy to get into much trouble, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t get beat up. It had happened more than a few times and I’d had to fight because of him often. Mikey wasn’t old enough to get into anything serious, but he had been in plenty of fights. I could see why Mom wanted us to get away. Perhaps she was escaping from memories of my older brother as well, but I think those memories likely made her want to remain as much as they made her want to go.

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I was glad to put Texas in my past. I’d seriously considered splitting to get away, but Mom and my stupid brothers needed me too much. After Marc disappeared, it was up to me to help out. I was the man of the house, so I wasn’t free to take off, even to save my own skin. I also didn’t want to put Mom through staying up nights wondering what happened to another son.

The first thing I did when I got home was lock myself in my room and jerk off. I was so worked up it only took me a minute to bust. I felt sooo much better after that. Maybe I needed to start stopping by the restroom right after school so I could beat it in a stall and not have to endure the discomfort all the way home. I’d give that some thought.

I checked in on Mikey. He was home and in his room. I also looked in on Charles, but I already knew I’d find him sitting at his desk. If he didn’t have homework, he’d be reading. We were soooo different.

I went into the kitchen and turned on the light. Mom had cleaned it up a lot. I thought about starting supper, but I had no idea how to work the antique gas stove. If I tried to use it, I’d probably blow the house up. I settled for cleaning up the kitchen more and by washing the windows, which were grimy. Until I could find a job, I would help out here. I’d told Eddie the truth, I wasn’t a nice guy, but I was going to help out my mom all I could. I bet there wouldn’t be any rumors about that spreading through the school.

***

I struggled against the ropes that bound my wrists and ankles, frantic to escape. My heart raced and my breath came hard and fast. How much time did I have before he returned? Maybe I could talk my way out of this.

Maybe I could tell him I’d changed my mind. Tears filled my eyes. I breathed harder and harder as sheer terror consumed me. The door began to open.

“NOO!”

I jerked upright in bed and looked around the unfamiliar room. My heart thumped loudly and my breath came hard and fast. Panic consumed me, but then I began to calm down. I was in my new bedroom in Verona. It was only the dream. The nightmare that had plagued me since that day.

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I lowered myself onto my back, closed my eyes and thought of pleasant things to banish the memories.

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Chapter Three

“Seriously? You’re joining the drama fags?” Ricky asked as I chowed down on a fish stick in the cafeteria.

“Yeah, I only took the class because I needed a credit and I thought it would be easy, but it turns out I’m good at it,” I said.

“Seriously? You picked auditioning for a play over football? That is so lame,” Joe said.

“The best thing I can do for the team is to not join it, or join the team of a rival school.”

The guys didn’t laugh. Even Daniel and Bruce, the jokesters looked at me darkly. It didn’t take the jocks long to turn on me. Only Jerry didn’t change, but then he seemed to hover above everything as if he was unconcerned with the lives of mere mortals.

“The play? Isn’t that pretty fruity?” Joe asked.

“No!” I said, defensively.

“Dude, just tell us, are you a fag?” Ricky asked. “You wanna suck our dicks?”

His words hit the mark because I did want to suck their dicks.

“Fuck you guys!” I said.

I stood up and walked away with my tray before I totally lost it. The last thing I wanted was to transform into a raving lunatic in the middle of the cafeteria. I knew I’d punch someone, like Ricky, in the face if I remained. The problem was, I had nowhere to go.

That’s when I spotted Eddie, sitting with Victor and some other kids I recognized from class. I walked over.

“Mind if I sit?”

“Park it, Corbin,” Eddie said with a grin.

“Thanks.”

“Tough day?” Timothy asked.

“The jocks were being assholes. They turned on me the second I mentioned auditioning.”

“Ah. I wondered why you sat with them,” Eddie said.

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“Mr. Shakespeare put me with them my first day. He was trying to do me a favor. They were pretty cool at first when they thought I might join the football team, but they’re assholes, most of them anyway.”

“You’re better off here than with those meatheads,” Victor said.

“Yeah, they don’t understand culture or well, anything that requires intelligence,” Eddie said.

“They asked if I was a fag. I told them to fuck off.”

“Better be careful about that. It’s not wise to piss off the jocks,” Victor said.

“Aren’t you a jock?” I asked.

“He only looks like one because his arms and chest try to rip through his shirts,” Eddie said.

“Yes, they do,” a girl sitting a couple of seats down said with more than a touch of admiration in her voice.

“Calm yourself, Cynthia,” Eddie said.

“I will forgive you for thinking I’m a jock, but only once,” Victor said, pointing at me.

“Understood. I try never to piss off anyone who can rip my head off.”

“Yeah, Victor is far too smart to be a jock, although he is dumb enough to be obsessed with weightlifting. I never understood what’s up with that,”

Eddie said.

Victor flipped him off.

“That is a little strange. Some guys at my old school lifted weights. It sounded like far too much like work to me,” I said.

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” Victor said.

“I’m okay with that.”

“So, you’re going to audition? You should. You’re great in class,”

Cynthia said, as she gazed at me.

Please, do not let her be into me. I do not need more complications in my life

“I wanted to do something I’ve never done before. Mr. Ellis encouraged me to try out. He said I have talent and the acting we do in class is fun.”

“You’ll love doing a play. It’s so much fun!” Cynthia said.

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Damn, girl. Calm down.

“I’m going to audition, too. I figure why not?” Eddie said.

“You haven’t been in a play before?” I asked. “You strike me as the actor type.”

“No, I’m not really a joiner, but I thought what the hell? It could be fun.”

“I’m not a joiner either, but I need to do something to keep myself out of trouble. I just hope I have time. I need to find a job.”

“You have to make time for things you want to do,” Victor said.

Easy for you to say. You don’t have my problems.

“We will have a blast!” Eddie said.

“I’m adopting a wait and see attitude,” I said.

“Oh, you’ll see. It will be fun.”

“I hope so. I could use some fun.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. Was he flirting with me?

“We are glad to have you at our table,” Victor said.

“Yeah, although the jocks do refer to us as drama fags, behind Victor’s back anyway. They’re afraid of him.”

“What’s your name?” I asked the boy who had just spoken.

“Theodore.”

“Nice to meet you. As far as the jocks are concerned, they can suck my nuts.”

“I don’t think they’ll want to do that,” Timothy said.

“Don’t talk about nuts. It makes mine itch,” Victor said, then rearranged his crotch. Cynthia smiled to herself.

“This is much better than the jock table,” I said.

“Yeah, we even communicate with words instead of grunts and growls,”

Theodore said.

I grinned. Yeah, this was the crew I wanted to hang out with.

After lunch, Eddie joined me as I dumped my tray. We walked up the hallway together.

“I’m glad you decided to join the drama table. I would have invited you, but you seemed like you were happy with the jocks,” Eddie said.

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“I was for a very short time.”

“You look like you belong with them, no offense.”

“Why do you think that? Victor looks like a jock, but me? I do not look athletic.”

“It’s the way you carry yourself. You also look tough and strong. I have a feeling you can kick ass if you want.”

“Well, I can. I guess I’m as strong as a skinny guy can be. If you grew up where I did, you’d be tough, too. In my neighborhood, guys fought for fun. It was either get tough or get your ass kicked daily.”

“Doesn’t sound like my kind of town.”

“I am glad to be outta there, but I do enjoy a good fight, especially if I win.”

“You are crazy, Corbin. Oh, that’s a good nickname, Crazy Corbin!”

“I guess I could live with that. There are worse nicknames.”

“Good because I think I’m going to spread it, along with a rumor that you once dove off a hundred-foot cliff into a lake.”

“There was no such place where I lived.”

“No one knows that.”

“Make it two-hundred feet then. If I’m going to be crazy, I might as well be extremely crazy,” I said.

Eddie grinned. “Catch ya later.”

“Later.”

I smiled as I walked on. I liked Eddie a lot. I had fantasies about making out with him. That’s something I likely shared with every girl in the school. I wondered if he had hooked up with a bunch of them. He could if he wanted. I had a feeling he could seduce anyone. He sure could me, but I was dreaming.

I fantasized about Jerry even more, but that was another kind of fantasy. I had dreamy thoughts about Eddie. My thoughts of Jerry were inspired by pure lust. Fantasies were good.

***

“Hey, Fag.”

I turned.

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“My name is Corbin and what do you want, Joe?”

“I just wondered what time you’ll be sucking dick today?”

“Fuck off.”

Kids walked past us in the hallway. Most ignored us. Others watched to see what was going to happen.

“What did you say, asshole?”

“I said, fuck off.”

Joe lunged at me. He slugged me in the jaw before I could get out of the way, but I punched him in the stomach and then the face. He staggered back.

“Stop, right now! You and you come with me.”

Great. No drama class for me today, thanks to Jerkoff Joe. I glared at him. I wanted to kick his ass.

Mr. Shakespeare led us to the office, where he asked the secretary to call our parents.

“Please don’t call my mom. She’s at work. She can’t afford to miss and I don’t want her to get fired because of me,” I said.

Mr. Shakespeare considered me for a moment.

“Okay, but I will need to talk to her. What time does she get off work?”

Mr. Shakespeare said.

“She gets off early today, at 3:30.”

“Okay. I’ll drive you home and have a talk with your mom. As for you, Joe, I thought we agreed you were going to start off this school year better than the last.”

“Whatever.”

Mr. Shakespeare went in to talk to the principal then departed. Soon, Mr. Sloane appeared in his doorway and motioned us inside.

He pointed to the chairs in front of his desk and we sat.

“So, what’s the story?” Mr. Sloane asked.

“He walked up and punched me in the face for no reason,” Joe said, pointing to the red mark the size of my fist on the side of his face.

“Bull shit!” I said.

“Corbin,” Mr. Sloane admonished.

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“Sorry, but that is not what happened. He began hassling me, got pi...

angry when I told him to... shove off and then sucker punched me.”

“He’s a liar. Word is he got in all kinds of trouble at his old school and is wanted by the cops,” Joe said, pointing at me.

I began to open my mouth, but Mr. Sloane beat me to it.

“Don’t lie to me, Joe. Mr. Shakespeare witnessed the altercation from a distance. He could not hear what was said, but he saw you throw the first punch, Joe. He then witnessed Corbin hit you in the stomach and face before he could reach you.”

Joe sullenly looked away.

“Since you acted in self-defense, Mr. Cooper, I’m going to let you off with a warning. Fighting is not tolerated in this school.”

“It wasn’t my idea to fight.”

“I know that, which is why you will not join Mr. Sessay in detention.

I’m sure your coach will also have something to say to you, Joe.”

I stifled a laugh and Joe glared at me. The pronunciation of his last name was dangerously close to sissy.

“I appreciate that,” I said.

“Self-defense is sometimes necessary, but you went beyond that. The next time, I will not be so forgiving.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you need to go to the nurse?”

“No.”

“You may go to class then.”

I departed. I actually felt sorry for Joe. What an unfortunate last name! Mostly, I thought he was an asshole. Thanks to him, I was in trouble with Mr. Shakespeare, and worse, had caused trouble for Mom. I was not looking forward to facing her when she found out. It was Texas all over again.

I presented Mr. Ellis with my pass and joined my drama class. My jaw ached a bit, but I could take it. Eddie gazed at me with a question in his eyes as I entered, but the class was in the middle of an improvisation, so we couldn’t talk.

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Eddie was at my side the moment class was over and we headed out for gym.

“What happened? I heard you were in a fight. Is it true?”

I pointed to my face.

“News travels fast here. Yeah, Joe started some shit with me and I finished it. At least I started to finish it, but Mr. Shakespeare stopped us.

Did you know Joe’s last name is Sessay?” I asked, then laughed.

“Yeah, he gets violent if anyone makes fun of his name. Did they really have to send him to the hospital?”

“What? No. He slugged me in the jaw. I slugged him in the stomach, then the face and that was it.”

“I knew you were a bad ass. Crazy Corbin,” Eddie said, then grinned.

“I’m not a bad ass. I just don’t put up with shit.”

“Did you get detention?”

“No. Joe claimed I started it, but Mr. Shakespeare saw the whole thing. He wants to talk to my mom. I don’t know why. He’s not the principal and it’s none of his damn business.”

“Mr. Shakespeare looks out for students, especially his students.”

“Well, I’d just as soon he didn’t look out for me. I don’t need his help.

He’s going to drive me home after school. Ten-to-one he grabs my dick.”

“Nah, he won’t do that.”

“Never trust an older guy.”

Eddie looked at me with a question in his eyes, but I didn’t feel like elaborating.

Gym class helped me get my mind off the trouble I was in and I was able to enjoy the sights in the locker room and showers, but all too soon I was dressed and the dreaded drive home with Mr. Shakespeare awaited me.

“I guess I walk home alone today,” Eddie said as he closed his gym locker.

“Will you miss me?”

“Desperately. I do not know if I will survive!” Eddie said dramatically.

“If you perform like that during your audition, you’ll be an usher for sure.”

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Eddie stuck out his tongue and left. I soon followed, only then realizing I didn’t know where to find Mr. Shakespeare. I had no need to worry. He was waiting for me just outside the entrance to the locker room.

“How was your day?” he asked, as he picked up his briefcase and walked toward the exit.

“Just peachy.”

“How is your jaw?”

“It’s fine. Joe hits like a girl.”

“Girls can be tougher than you think.”

“I suppose.”

“How are you doing here at VHS, other than today’s altercation?”

“Fine. It’s a lot nicer than my old school. Smaller, too. I started sitting with Eddie and some of the other kids from class after the jocks turned on me.”

“Turned on you?”

“They got nasty as soon as I told them I was trying out for the play.”

“That was my fault then.”

“You were trying to help.”

“I’m still sorry. I thought you might fit in with them. I am occasionally wrong.”

“Uh huh.”

The parking lot rapidly cleared out as we walked toward Mr.

Shakespeare’s car. I didn’t relish being seen with him, but there was no avoiding it.

“This one is mine. Get in,” he said, pointing to a sad looking blue Vega.

“I know. It’s not a cool car, but I live on a teacher’s salary,” he said, as I slid in the passenger seat and he got behind the wheel. “It gets me where I need to go. I spend my money on my house. I finished paying for it recently.”

Here we go. He mentioned his house. Next, he’ll offer to show it to me so he can get me alone and molest me.

“Where do you live?” he asked, pulling out of the parking space.

I told him.

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“Okay, I know where that is. It’s hard not to know in a town the size of Verona.”

Soon, we were out of the parking lot and on our way. He didn’t mention going to his place, but I expected his hand on my leg any second.

It didn’t happen. A short time later, he stopped in front of our house and we got out.

“You know, I had a friend who lived here when I was a kid. I’ve been inside lots of times. It’s a great house,” he said.

“It’s okay. Mom is excited about it.”

“She should be.”

Mom pulled up as we started up the walk. We waited and she joined us.

“I’m Mr. Shakespeare. I’m Corbin’s literature and English teacher.

Corbin got in a bit of trouble today and I’d like to talk to you about it.”

Mom shot me a disappointed look that said, ‘Here we go again.’ It hurt worse than Joe’s fist to my jaw.

“Actually, the trouble was started by another boy, but things could have gotten out of hand. You have a wonderful son, Mrs. Cooper. I’m very pleased to have him in my classes.”

Mom relaxed a bit and I looked at Mr. Shakespeare. Where did all that come from?

“Come on in,” she said.

Mom and Mr. Shakespeare headed for the kitchen once we were inside.

I drifted off to my bedroom. This was not good.

I paced in my bedroom, wondering what they were saying in the kitchen. I hoped Mom wasn’t too disappointed in me, but it’s not as if I’d gone looking for trouble. I had done so in the past, and I’d found it, so she might not believe I wasn’t at fault now. That dumbass Joe Sessay, I felt like tracking him down and beating him senseless, but no, that was the type of thing I was trying not to do. I didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of my older brother, or my, hopefully, former self.

I turned to homework to get my mind off my doom. I was glad to be able to lose myself in it. I was actually able to forget Mr. Shakespeare was in the house, at least for a while.

My stomach grumbled. I looked at the clock. No wonder. It was nearly time for supper. Had he left yet? Surely, he wasn’t still here. I put

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away my books and stepped into the hallway. I caught the scent of fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Was that... laughter?

I entered the kitchen to find Mom standing in front of the relic of a stove, frying chicken in a cast iron skillet. Mr. Shakespeare sat at the table with a cup of coffee, talking to Mom.

“Hey, Corbin,” Mr. Shakespeare said.

“Hey,” I cautiously responded.

“Will explained what happened at school today. I’m glad you showed some restraint, Corbin, but you need to keep working on that.”

“Will?” I asked.

Mom pointed to Mr. Shakespeare. Ugh. My mom and my nosiest, creepiest teacher were on a first name basis. No. No. No. No!

“Will Shakespeare?” I asked.

“Blame my parents, but it is a great name for a literature teacher. Your mom filled me in on a bit of your past. You have quite a history.”

“Yeah, I used to get into a lot of shit... trouble, I mean,” I said, altering my language after a disapproving look from Mom.

“It sounds to me like you’re making a lot of progress. I admire someone who can make a positive change in their life.”

“What would you know about it?” I asked, removing as much of the anger I felt as I could.

“I know you will find this hard to believe, but when I was young, I was a terror.”

I laughed.

“I knew you wouldn’t believe me, but it’s true. I was suspended from school more often than not. I was in fights all the time. I smoked and I was often drunk, and this was in middle school.”

“You’re bull-shitting me.”

“Corbin...” Mom said.

“Sorry.”

“I swear I’m telling the truth. In the 7th grade, I got high, stole a car and drove around while drinking vodka I’d also stolen. I hit another car head on. I was thrown through the windshield, but oddly wasn’t that badly hurt.

The driver of the other car was taken to the hospital in critical condition.

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For a while, she wasn’t expected to live. That’s when my life changed.

That’s when I changed. I realized what I’d done, how stupid and selfish I’d been and how I’d nearly killed someone. It would have been bad enough if a stranger was in the other car, but she wasn’t a stranger. She was my mom.”

“Shit,” I said. Mom didn’t admonish me.

“Yeah, I almost killed my mom. I was a disrespectful, arrogant, violent little jerk, but I still loved her. Almost losing her and being the cause slapped sense into me. I stopped drinking. I stopped smoking. I stopped huffing fumes. I quit getting into fights and stopped being a little monster.

It wasn’t easy. I had to completely change myself. There were times when I wanted a drink or a joint so bad, I almost couldn’t stand it, but I did it. I took care of my mom after she got out of the hospital and tried to be a good son.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, my reward for doing all that, beyond not dying at an early age, was something my mom said to me. She told me she was glad she’d almost died in the accident because it saved me. She didn’t have to worry about me so much anymore. She had the son she wanted.”

“It’s pretty difficult for me to control my temper sometimes,” I said. “I wanted to pound Joe so hard. In my room earlier, I thought about tracking him down and beating him senseless, but I know that’s not the way to handle it.”

“No. Joe will be spending plenty of time in detention. His coach has suspended him from the team for two weeks as well.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, so leaving his punishment to the school is the best idea. He gets in trouble. You don’t.”

I nodded.

“I still can’t imagine you being such a bad ass when you were a kid,” I said.

“I know. It’s hard, but people can change if they have a reason. I had the best reason. My mom.”

I nodded and looked at Mom, who was now mashing potatoes. She was my reason for changing. I wasn’t a nice guy and didn’t know if I’d ever

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be. I’d do what it took to take care of my family, but I wouldn’t go looking for fights and trouble as I once did. I wasn’t looking for trouble today, but I could have handled it better. Maybe the changes I was making in my life were half-assed, but they were changes for the better.

Mr. Shakespeare joined us for supper and it wasn’t as weird having him there as I would have thought. Mikey took up with him immediately and jabbered on and on about kid stuff. Mr. Shakespeare listened politely and actually seemed to enjoy their conversation. Perhaps huffing paint fumes as a kid had damaged his brain. It was probably a good thing I’d given that up.

Charles didn’t say much, but he often lived in his own head. Mr.

Shakespeare managed to draw him out a little, which surprised me. Charles didn’t usually take to strangers and he was not good with social interaction.

He was a weird, weird kid.

Mom seemed glad to have an adult to talk to during supper. While he spent plenty of time talking to the rest of us, Mr. Shakespeare mostly talked with Mom. I hadn’t seen her enjoy herself so much in quite a while. She obviously needed more adult conversation.

“That was the best meal I’ve had since I visited my mother,” Mr.

Shakespeare said. “She’s a great cook as well.”

“Oh, this wasn’t much,” Mom said.

“Yes, it was and it was delicious. I insist on helping to clean up and wash dishes. Don’t bother trying to talk me out of it. I can be very stubborn.”

Oh brother.

Charles, Mikey and I headed out. I went to my room and put on my Atom Heart Mother Pink Floyd album in an attempt to alter my mood. I succeeded to a point, but later, when I stepped out into the hallway, I could hear Mr. Shakespeare and mom laughing in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure I liked my mother and one of my teachers getting chummy. The less Mom knew about my school life, the better as far as I was concerned and I didn’t want to give any of the teachers inside information to use against me. It was better my mom and my teachers remain strangers.

Later, I looked up when there was a knock at my door. I mentally groaned.

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“I just wanted to say, ‘goodbye.’ I didn’t know what to expect when I arrived, but you have an incredible mother.”

“Yeah. She works hard trying to take care of us.”

“Think of her before you act next time trouble comes your way. Think before you act, period. Quick decisions are often poor decisions.”

“Is this wisdom from your violent youth?”

“Yes.”

“Probably a good idea then.”

“It’s something to give some thought. I know it’s lame to take advice from uncool old guys, but we were all young once.”

“Does that mean I’ll grow up to be uncool?”

“Only if you’re lucky.”

I laughed.

“Have a good evening, Corbin. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Hey, no threats,” I teased.

Mr. Shakespeare smiled and left, finally.

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Chapter Four

I turned off the TV and headed for the bedroom, still under the influence of David Cassidy from The Partridge Family. I began to flip the light switch, but then noticed a glow coming from the window of the house next door and a form moving inside. I closed my door and walked closer.

Was that? Yes, it was! How could I live next door to Jerry Bradshaw and not know it? Then again, I could count the days I’d lived here on one hand.

I watched as Jerry pulled off his shirt. The light in his room illuminated his smooth muscular torso. I began to rub my bulge as he picked up a set of dumbbells. His biceps bulged and my dick hardened with each curl.

I pulled my dick out and slowly stroked as I watched him. I imagined running my hands over his hard body. I’d seen him naked after gym and damn, he looked fine. I began to breathe harder as he switched to a barbell and continued to pump out curls. My eyes traveled down his chest to his abs and then to the bulge in his shorts. I moaned and made a mess on the carpet.

I continued to watch Jerry. Life in Verona had just improved 100%.

***

I stuck my thumb out, but the car passed without slowing. My search for employment had been a bust so far, so it was time to see what I could turn up in a bigger town.

I walked north along the highway. There was not a lot of traffic and three vehicles passed before a guy in a Dodge Dart slowed and then pulled over ahead of me. I ran to catch up and stuck my head in the window.

“Where are you going?” asked a guy who was probably in his 40’s.

“Any town bigger than Verona.”

“That’s about any town then. Hop in.”

I did so and the guy pulled back onto the highway.

“I’m Paul.”

“I’m Jack,” I said, seeing no reason to give him my real name.

“Nice to meet you. What are your plans when you get to a bigger town?”

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“I’m looking to make some cash and there are no jobs in Verona. I thought I might turn something up.”

“Plymouth is about fifteen miles from Verona, but that’s a long way to travel for a job. You can’t always count on getting a ride,” Paul said.

“I thought I’d look for alternative employment, not a regular job. I’ll do about anything for some cash.”

I gave Paul a sideways look and leaned back in my seat.

“I’m sure a good-looking boy like you can turn something up.”

“You know of anywhere in Plymouth I might find something?”

“There is a spot on the edge of town, down near a bar and an adult book shop where boys who are looking to make cash go. If you’re looking for that sort of thing. It’s actually called the chicken strip, by those in the know.”

I laughed at the name.

“Yeah? I’d be very grateful if you’d show me where it is,” I said, and spread my legs.

Paul was speaking a language I understood. I’d hoped to discover a situation similar to Critchlow’s Corner back in Texas, but this was better.

This guy knew the scene. He was exactly who I needed.

Paul reached over, rubbed my leg and then groped me before spreading his own legs. I groped him, getting him good and worked up. I pulled down his zipper and worked his hardening dick out as he continued to drive. He pushed his seat back a little and I went down on him.

I wasn’t into older guys, but I did what I had to do. Paul was okay looking and I liked dick, so even though he wasn’t my preferred partner, I didn’t mind blowing him too much. I kept it up until his dick throbbed, he moaned and exploded in my mouth. I then sat back.

We soon reached Plymouth. Paul drove into town and then turned to the east. Before long, he stopped the car and pointed.

“Anywhere along that block should be good.”

“Thanks,” I said.

Paul pulled out his wallet.

“You don’t have to do that. Bringing me here and giving me info is payment enough.”

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“No, take this anyway,” he said, handing me a twenty.

“Thanks,” I said.

“No problem. It’s not easy to find a boy as good-looking as you. If you start coming here often, maybe I’ll see you again.”

“I hope so,” I said, and flashed him a smile before getting out and crossing the street.

My smile faded. Maybe someday my life would change and improve. I had hoped to make cash with a job I didn’t have to hide from my mom, but Verona was too small to offer anything, so it was back to what I’d hoped to leave behind. I didn’t let it get me down. I was lucky to have a way to make some bread. Maybe I could line up a few regulars like I did back in Texas. Seriously, it wasn’t so bad. It was just another job and one that paid way more than any other I could find. I would’ve had to work at least ten hours to earn what I had on the ride from Verona.

I was trying to keep out of trouble as much as possible, truly I was, but I was also determined to do whatever was necessary to take care of my family. Working a street was better than most of what I’d gotten mixed up in before. I’d run with guys I shouldn’t have, sold drugs and helped out with a few burglaries. The last got me arrested. This could too, but the cops weren’t after boys like me as much as they were drug dealers and thieves. Stealing, and especially dealing drugs had never sat well on my conscience. This was more honest. It was an equitable exchange. I got cash and the other guy got what he wanted. As far as I was concerned, it shouldn’t be illegal.

There were a couple of boys hanging out on the street. They eyed me, but didn’t seem hostile. After checking me out, they more or less ignored my presence. I leaned up against an empty storefront and observed.

Mostly, nothing looked out of the ordinary. I spotted the bar down the street, but it was still morning so the parking lot was empty. There were a couple of cars in the lot by the adult bookstore, but not much was happening there either. Further on, nearly out of sight, a gas station was more active. Cars passed by, the drivers ignoring what was outside their windows. Then, a yellow Suburban drove by slowly, turned around down at the gas station and came back. It slowed as it neared the boys down the block and stopped in front of them. The blond stuck his head in the window and moments later, climbed in.

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Yep, this was the place.

The other boy, also blond, but a much darker shade than the kid who had departed looked at me and then walked in my direction.

I tensed. If he got rough, he’d discover I was not an easy mark. Back in Rome, all the guys knew each other, and even looked out for each other.

I wasn’t sure how things worked here.

“Hey, I’m Eli,” the blond said, stopping a short distance away.

“I’m Jack,” I said, keeping up my persona, the same I’d used in Texas.

“I’ve never seen you before.”

“I don’t live here, but a guy told me I could find what I was seeking here.”

Eli smiled. That probably wasn’t his real name, but it didn’t matter.

“Fair enough. There aren’t a lot of customers, but there aren’t a lot of boys either. Got a cig I can bum?”

“Sorry, I don’t smoke.”

“It’s okay. I’ll get some soon. You talk different.”

“I’m from Texas.”

“That explains it. So, are you a homo or you just do this for money?”

“I’m a homo,” I said, admitting to this boy what I couldn’t to anyone I knew.

“I’m straight, but I’m pretty much on my own. I live with my grandma, but she drinks a lot, you know? I got to take care of things.”

“I know how that is.”

“You’re lucky, must be easier for you since you’re a homo, although I mostly just let guys suck my dick. I close my eyes and pretend it’s a hot chick.”

“I guess it’s easier for me, but the guys who pay aren’t exactly my type.”

“Yeah, I guess not. Oh, watch out for a guy named John who drives a blue El Camino. He fucked up one of the boys. Do not go home with him.”

“Thanks for the tip.”

“We look out for each other here.”

“That’s the way it was back home.”

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“There are some real weirdos, but most are just desperate older guys.

Most of them are pretty nice.”

“Yeah, that’s the way it was in Texas, except for one.”

“A guy like El Camino John?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, sometimes a guy wants two boys. Would you wanna pair up with me? It’s safer that way. I don’t usually go home with guys. I just let them blow me in their car, but I’ll do it if the cash is good and I have someone with me.”

“Yeah, that would be cool. I won’t be here much except maybe Saturdays. I live in Verona, so it takes a while to get here.”

“I understand. I’ll look for you. Hey, there’s Steve. He’s one of my regulars, see ya.”

A red Ford pickup stopped in front of us. Eli jumped in, waved and was gone.

I stood alone, feeling a bit like passed over merchandise, but the other boys were known. I was not, which would likely work to my advantage.

Half an hour passed and, nothing. I missed my buds in Rome. I had two sets of friends there. One made up of boys who did what I did to make cash and the other my school friends. My two worlds didn’t mix, except for Jake. When he was desperately hard up for cash, I’d let him in on the secret of how he could make some fast bread.

Maybe it wasn’t that big of a secret, but most boys didn’t do it, were totally ignorant about how it worked and didn’t even know about it. I showed Jake the ropes. He didn’t do it often, only when he was desperate.

I let on that I didn’t do it that much either, which was a lie. Another lie was that I was straight. I could have told him I was a homo, but it was a part of my secret life. Why I could let him know I sold my body but couldn’t let him know I liked guys, I wasn’t sure, but I simply couldn’t.

A green Lincoln drove past slowly, the driver eyeballing me. It turned around in the adult bookstore parking lot and came back, pulling over to the curb in front of me. I walked over and leaned in the open window.

“Looking to make some easy cash?”

“That’s why I’m here, what do you have in mind?”

“Come back to my place and let me have your hot ass.”

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“Where you live?”

“I have an apartment a few blocks from here.”

“How much?”

“Thirty.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Okay, forty but that’s it. Take it or leave it.”

I got in the car. The guy looked like someone’s dad, not bad looking, but a little pudgy and probably in his late 30’s. I’d had worse.

We stopped at his apartment complex less than two minutes later. It was two-story with only a few units. I followed him up to a second-floor apartment.

“Bedroom is in the back,” he said as we entered.

As I passed through the living room, I spotted a photo of the guy with his wife and two young kids. We next passed the kitchen, two small bedrooms and then entered the large bedroom.

My temporary employer placed two twenties on the bedside table as I pulled off my shirt. I unfastened my belt, popped the button on my jeans and pulled down the zipper. I pushed my jeans and underwear down to my ankles.

“Damn. You’re a hot boy.”

“Thanks.”

“Bend over the edge of the bed.”

I did so. I could see him behind me in the mirror. He pushed down his pants and then groped my butt cheeks. I felt his dick pressing between my cheeks and grunted as he entered me.

This wasn’t my first time selling my bod, so I’d lubed up before leaving home. Taking it in the ass hurt like hell without lubrication. It hurt even with it, but it wasn’t so bad.

I grimaced and cried out as he pushed all the way in. This guy had a big one and I hadn’t done this in a while. I braced myself against his thrusts and moaned and groaned as he slid it in me over and over. The moans and groans were mostly for him, a show to make him think I liked it and hopefully make him shoot faster. It began to feel good, but I truly didn’t want him inside me. I was letting him do me for the cash.

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He grabbed my hips and pounded me harder and harder, then grunted and released his stuff inside me. As soon as he pulled out, I straightened and pulled up my underwear and jeans. Some guys turned mean after they’d shot their load. They were into it up to that point, but then then it was like a switch was flicked and everything changed. I knew this guy could turn on me fast. That’s why I’d kept my shoes on for any easy escape.

“Damn, you have a hot ass. I hope we can do this again,” he said, handing me the twenties.

This guy obviously wasn’t one of those who turned mean.

“I’ll be around some Saturdays,” I said.

“Get dressed. I’ll take you back.”

“Thanks.”

We were soon back in his car.

“You probably think I’m a creep for fucking boys when I have a wife and kids,” he said.

“I don’t judge. You’re not hurting them or me.”

“I don’t like cheating on my wife, but I can’t resist teen boys. You won’t understand this now, but boys your age are beautiful. You’re special.

It only lasts for a short time, but you’re gods while you have youth and beauty.”

“Yeah, I don’t really get that. I don’t think I’m all that.”

“You are.”

“Thanks.”

Some guys, like this one, liked to talk. Others barely said a word after they were finished.

“I wish I could make you understand how lucky you are right now. I didn’t know what I had until it was gone. I never looked like you, but I was much better looking back then than I thought I was. Now, I’m an out of shape middle aged guy. It’s gone just like that,” he said snapping his fingers.

“You probably don’t have some of the problems guys my age have, such as being desperate for cash or having a dick that is always hard.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but enjoy that last problem. There will come a time when you’ll wish your dick would get hard.”

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“Yours works just fine,” I said.

“It does when there is a beautiful boy like you around. Well, here we are.”

“Thanks for the ride back,” I said, then got out of the car. I felt sorry for the guy as he pulled away. I hoped I didn’t end up like him.

There were two different boys working the street now. I thought I’d hang around for a bit, then head back to Verona. I’d made a nice bit of cash already, but I could use more. I didn’t like hooking up with older guys for cash, but it wasn’t all bad and I needed the money. Besides, how else was I going to make bread? I wasn’t going to go back to stealing or dealing.

Both other boys climbed into a car minutes after I returned and I had the whole street left to myself. Just when I was thinking of quitting and heading back, a big black sedan pulled up to the curb. I hadn’t seen one like it before. I figured it was way old, but it shined like new.

I stuck my head into the window to discover a very old man. He could easily have been my grandfather. I hesitated. I’ve never gone with such an old guy before.

“I’m looking for a dinner companion and an hour of your time,” he said.

“Okay... how much and what happens in that hour?”

He grinned and laughed.

“Worry not, boy. I only wish to buy some of your time, not your body.

I’ll pay for dinner, give you $20 and during the hour we will eat and talk and nothing more.”

He seemed legit, but it was always hard to tell. This sounded a bit too good to be true, but I was pretty sure I could take him if he tried something, so I climbed into the car.

“Do you like fried chicken?” he asked as he pulled away from the curb.

“Yeah.”

“I know a place with the best fried chicken and mashed potatoes in the county, but you may order anything you like.”

“Great. What kind of car is this?”

“This is a Dodge Town Sedan. I bought it new in 1948.”

“It’s really big. I like it.”

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“It still runs well and I couldn’t bear to part with it even if it didn’t. I had a younger friend I adored back then. We got up to a lot of things in the back seat. He was beautiful.”

“What happened to him?” I asked.

“Life, the same as me. Our paths diverged, but I still remember him fondly and treasure that short time with him. After he left, I met my wife and we had two wonderful decades together until she died.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“I wish I could have had more time with her, but I’m thankful for what I had. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Richard.”

“I’m Jack.”

We stopped in front of Shirley’s Café. Richard slowly worked his way out of the seat and stood beside the car with the help of a cane.

“Enjoy being able to walk and run, Jack. If you are lucky to live long enough, running will become a thing of the past and walking will be difficult,” he said with a smile.

I nodded and then opened the door for him.

“Thank you.”

“Richard,” a high school age waitress said as soon as she spotted us.

She hugged him affectionately.

“How are you today, Mary?”

“Except for my feet, I’m fine, but I get off in an hour. How is my favorite customer?”

“Ready for fried chicken. This young man has been good enough to join me. Bring him a menu please.”

“Hi,” I said, uncertainly. I was not accustomed to being introduced in public.

Mary escorted us into the closest empty booth. Richard waved to the other waitresses and to some of the customers.

“I come here daily,” he explained.

“You must truly like it.”

“Oh, I do and I feel at home here. It’s much better than sitting at home alone.”

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Mary returned with ice water and the menu. My mouth watered as I looked through it.

“This all looks good, but I think I’ll have fried chicken and mashed potatoes like you recommended,” I said.

“That comes with another vegetable,” Mary said.

“Corn?”

“You got it. What would you like to drink?”

“A Coke please.”

She departed and I gazed across the table to Richard.

“You didn’t order,” I said.

“There is no need for me to order, I’m terribly predictable. Think about pie while we’re waiting. They have the best apple, cherry, coconut cream and chocolate pies here. They have others at different times as well. They are all wonderful.”

“That sounds great. I’m pretty hungry.”

“When is the last time you had something to eat?” Richard asked, concerned.

“Oh, at breakfast. It hasn’t been that long, but I get hungry easily.”

“That is a part of being your age. Please stop me if I’m being too nosey, but do you have a place to live?” Richard asked.

“Oh yeah. I live with my mom and two younger brothers.” I saw no reason not to tell him the truth. He didn’t even know my real name.

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. How old are you? Fifteen? Sixteen?”

“I’m sixteen.”

“You’re very handsome, Jack. I must apologize that your dinner companion is not nearly as attractive as mine,” Richard said with a smile.

“You look fine.”

“You’re being kind. What I look is old, but I don’t mind because I am old. I had my time being young and I made the most of it. I’m content to be an old man with a cane now.”

Our food arrived more quickly than seemed possible. Mary sat a plate of fried chicken and mashed potatoes down in front of each of us and a basket of rolls between us.

“See, I have no need to order. My plate simply appears.”

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I tried a piece of my chicken.

“Oh wow,” I said.

“I told you. It’s the best chicken in the county.”

I quickly devoured the entire chicken leg, but luckily, I had a breast left. I noticed that Richard didn’t have nearly as much food on his plate, but then I guessed that older people ate less.

“Everything is great,” I said, after I’d tried my potatoes, corn and one of the rolls with butter.

“It’s the main reason I keep living. This is my idea of heaven,” Richard said.

“This is the best part of my day. I think I want to live here,” I said with a grin.

I noticed the waitresses eyeing me. I had a feeling they knew what I was. That made me uncomfortable, but I focused on Richard. He treated me with kindness and obviously didn’t look down on me.

We carried on an easy conversation while we ate. I emptied my plate long before Richard.

“Would you like something else? More chicken, perhaps?” he asked.

“Oh, I would love it, but I would explode!”

Richard laughed. “Well, you must still have dessert.”

Mary returned when Richard finished and refilled my Coke and his iced tea.

“I think I’ll have cherry pie this time, with ice cream,” Richard said.

“What about you, Jack?”

“Chocolate pie would be great.”

Richard told me about his days in the navy and some of the places he’d seen. I would never have guessed from looking at him that he’d lived such an amazing life, but then I guess I never thought about what anyone did when they were younger. It seemed as if they were always as they were, but everyone had been young once. Would I someday be as old as Richard? Would I make it that far?

A sudden feeling of unease came upon me as it sometimes did. I rubbed my wrists and began breathing harder, but then calmed myself. I was okay. I was safe here. No one was going to hurt me.

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Mary brought our pie and refilled our drinks again. I found myself telling Richard about my mom and brothers. I didn’t know why I was telling him such things, but he brought it out of me without even trying. He listened with great interest as I spoke.

“You’re very lucky to have such a family. Enjoy it while you can, Jack. You and your brothers will grow up and move out on your own, perhaps spread across the country. If you’re a good son, and I believe you are, you’ll come back to visit your mother, but it will never be the same and only rarely will you all be together.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but sometimes I want to smack Charles. He’s a know-it-all. He is very smart, but he’s also very annoying at times.”

“Try to focus on the good things about him and forgive as many of the not-so-good things as you can. Later in life, you’ll realize they weren’t so much after all. You may even outlive him and, if so, you will likely wish you were back in these days when he annoyed you.”

“Yeah.”

I thought of Marc. He’d introduced me to Dean. He’d used me and abused me, but he’d also protected me, helped me and led me into fun mischief. He was both good and bad. A part of me wished I could go back to a time when things were good between us, a time before... all that came later, but I didn’t know if I could ever forgive him for some of the things he’d done.

“I wish I could make you understand all the things I know that would help you, but I was told the same things when I was young. I knew they were right and yet the information didn’t help that much. I think, perhaps, some things must be learned by experience,” Richard said, pulling me away from my thoughts.

“Yeah, I know you’re right, but I have a lot to deal with right now.”

“I’m sure, but you always will. The problems change, but they are always there.”

Richard paid the check and pushed a twenty across the table to me.

“You don’t have to pay me,” I said.

“I never go back on a deal and the time with you was well worth it.”

“Thanks,” I said, and slipped the cash into my pocket.

“I’ll give you a ride back,” Richard said.

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“Thanks, but I’m going to head for home. My mom doesn’t know I’m here. She thinks I’m running around Verona.”

“Then, I will drive you to Verona.”

“Oh, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You aren’t asking. I am offering. It will allow me to spend a few minutes more with you.”

“Thank you,” I said.

Richard bid the waitresses goodbye as we departed and soon, we were back inside his old car. I was glad to ride in it again, but wondered about the wisdom of doing so. Richard seemed like a kind old guy, but some guys appeared okay until they revealed their true nature.

I had a feeling I was safe and I was. We talked all the way to Verona, where I asked Richard to let me out at the park. I hesitated before I got out of his car.

“Richard, my real name is Corbin,” I said.

He nodded. “Thank you for telling me that. I hope to see you again, Corbin.”

“Yeah, I’d like that, too.”

I got out and closed the door.

I had eighty bucks in my pocket as I headed toward home. I could help out now if Mom couldn’t pay the water or electric bill. The bank was still open as I passed, so I went in and opened an account, depositing it all.

Later, I’d bring what I had secreted away at home, money I’d earned before leaving Texas, and deposit it, too. Having cash in the bank was security. I was proud that I could help Mom when she needed me.

How proud would she be if she knew what I did to earn that money?

I pushed that out of my mind, as I had many times in the past.

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Chapter Five

“Marc! What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Eating lunch, dumb ass.”

“I mean, in Verona. Marc?”

I stared at Marc where he sat with jocks talking and laughing, while mostly ignoring me. He wore a letterman’s jacket with a big VHS on it. He was as handsome and fit as I remembered, but then my big brother had been the athlete of the family.

“Marc, where have you been? We looked all over. Does Mom know you’re here?”

Marc turned his attention to me again.

“Just get lost, faggot.”

“What?”

“You know what my brother is, guys? He’s a faggot. He’s also a whore. He sells his ass to nasty old dudes.”

Jerry and the others at the table stared at me.

“Marc!” I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Get away from me, Homo. I don’t want you around. Why do you think I left?”

“Marc, please. Don’t say that. Please!” I said as tears flowed from my eyes.

“Corbin! Corbin!”

I felt someone shaking me. I opened my eyes to see Charles leaning over me.

“What? Where’s...” I began, but then looked around my bedroom. “I was dreaming.”

“Yeah, you kept shouting, ‘Marc’,” Charles said.

It was a dream. Yeah, it had to be a dream.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, but it’s almost time to get up away.”

To prove the point, my alarm went off. I quickly shut it off.

“Do you think Mom heard?”

“No. She’s in the kitchen.”

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“Don’t tell her. Okay?”

“I won’t.”

“Thanks, and thanks for waking me up.”

Charles nodded and left. I climbed out of bed, pulled on my underwear and headed for the bathroom.

In the shower, I thought about my big brother. He’d gone missing about a year before we left Texas. I remembered the last time I saw him. I was in the kitchen and he was arguing with Mom, who told him he couldn’t go out. He smirked, said he didn’t have to listen to her because he was the man of the house and was going to a party with his buds. He shoved me out of the way as he passed. Mom called out his name and then we heard the front door shut. He never came home.

We didn’t talk about him much because it upset Mom. After he disappeared, I often came home to find her sitting in a chair, holding his framed photo, moving her finger over it as if she was stroking his hair. I always went over and hugged her then, but I could only do so much to ease her pain.

It sure was nice to see Marc again. I knew it wasn’t real. It was nothing but a dream, but still I got to see him. A part of me had been glad at first that he didn’t come home, but that was when I thought he’d return sooner or later. I was glad to have a break from his bullying and abuse, but I missed hanging out with him.

As far as I knew, he never did the things to our younger brothers that he did to me. I took it because I didn’t want him to hurt Charles or Mikey, or Mom. He could get violent, especially if he was messed up. I had bad memories I tried not to think about, but he wasn’t all bad. I didn’t have to worry about supporting the family much before he disappeared. I did my part, but my big brother had a way of coming through with cash when we truly needed it. A beating here and there and the other stuff wasn’t too high a price to pay. After he disappeared, all the responsibility fell on me.

That’s when I began getting into hard core crime. That’s when everything began to go to hell.

I missed my brother and I was glad he was gone. Those two feelings warred against each other inside me. For a long time, I’d hoped he would come home, but also feared his return. Life was never simple.

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I rinsed off, turned off the shower and grabbed a towel. I dried off, wrapped it around my waist and returned to my room to dress for school.

I wondered what our lives would have been like if Marc hadn’t disappeared. Mom would be happier, at least I think so, but he changed a lot before he left and it wasn’t a change for the better. When we were kids, he never disobeyed Mom, but near the end he pretty much did what he wanted. He was even kicked off the football team for not bothering to show up for practices. He’d had big hopes for getting a scholarship and going to college, but then it was as if he simply didn’t care anymore. He’d often been a dick to me, but the weeks before he disappeared were the worst.

Perhaps it was a good thing he was no longer in our lives.

I knew Mom still hoped he’d return. She almost wouldn’t leave Texas because she wanted to be there if he came back, but she finally decided to leave after making sure anyone he might contact had our new address.

I didn’t think he was coming back. I didn’t think he could. I’d thought about it a lot and I had a suspicion about what happened to him.

No. I’m not thinking about that.

I headed to the kitchen for breakfast, oatmeal and toast. Mom was already dressed for work. We ate quickly and then we were all out the door. It was time for me to begin another day at VHS.

***

“What part are you reading for?” Eddie asked as we walked to the auditorium after school.

“Mercutio.”

“Me too, Jerk.”

I grinned.

“It doesn’t much matter what part I audition for. I won’t get it,” I said.

“Way to go with the positive thinking.”

“I don’t think I’m that good.”

“Mr. Ellis thinks you are. Me, too.”

“If I get a part, cool. If I don’t, I’ll volunteer to work backstage or something. As long as I’m a part of it, I’m good.”

“So selfless.”

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“Oh, shut up.”

Eddie grinned. Damn, he was cute. He was a hell of a nice guy, too. I thought once more about what it would be like to kiss him.

We entered the auditorium, which was bigger than I’d expected. I spotted quite a few kids I recognized from drama class and more from my other classes.

I took a seat as Mr. Ellis talked about the audition process and how there were no small roles. Yeah. Right. Then, the auditions began.

One kid after another was called up. I grew increasingly nervous and began to think this was a bad idea. Mr. Ellis went through the potential Juliets first, and there were plenty of them. Next, he moved onto the Romeos. I wished he had simply gone down the list in alphabetical order.

If he had, I would likely already be finished.

I’m going to make a fool of myself and everyone will laugh.

One of the boys trying for Romeo tripped and fell on his face. No one laughed about that. Maybe I was safe from ridicule here, but I didn’t want Eddie to see me screw up.

Finally, Mr. Ellis started on the Mercutios. I was nearly shaking by the time he called my name. I wasn’t scared of a fight, but this frightened me so much I feared my voice might shake.

I took a few deep breaths as I walked across the stage. I couldn’t see much in the lights. I felt panicky, but then I spotted Eddie. He gave me a thumbs up. I took another deep breath and then Mr. Ellis told me to begin.

I performed the short scene I’d memorized. It was Mercutio’s death scene, which was his wittiest. I had decided to play it almost as a comedy at first, but then transition into drama. Once I started, I got into it. Being someone else felt good. The small audience laughed, but it was at a point where that was a good thing. I left the stage feeling like I’d done a pretty good job. I hoped I’d get a part, no matter what part. I wanted to do this.

Eddie was up soon. I caught his eye before he began, smiled and gave him a thumbs up like he did for me. He began and damn he was good! One thing was for sure. I wasn’t getting the part of Mercutio. Eddie was so much better. I could live with that. I just hoped I got something.

Mr. Ellis continued with the auditions for other roles and finally we were done. He then gave a short, but still boring speech and said the cast

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list would be posted outside the auditorium before school started tomorrow morning.

Eddie and I departed with the other potential cast members.

“You were awesome,” Eddie said. “You’ll get Mercutio and if you don’t, you’ll get some other great part, maybe even Romeo.”

“I think I did well, better than I expected, but you were way better.”

“Tell me more!”

We laughed.

“Hey, Cooper! Did you land the role of Juliet?” called out Ricky, one of the football players.

Jerry shoved him and shook his head. I held my middle finger in the air.

“You wish, Corbin!”

I turned, cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, “I can do way better than you, Ricky!”

I turned and walked on. I heard the players laughing behind me.

“They are such infants, except for Jerry. He’s really smart, scary smart,” Eddie said as we kept walking.

“Scary smart?”

“Yeah, so smart it’s like he isn’t even human. It’s quite unfair.

Someone who gets to look like that should be stupid.”

“Life isn’t fair. Believe me. I know.”

“How is that job hunt coming?”

“I turned up something temporary, in Plymouth.”

“Cool.”

I wondered how cool Eddie would think it was if he found out I was a whore.

“I am excited about doing this play. I will be so bummed if I don’t get a part,” Eddie said.

“You will.”

“Maybe, but you definitely will. I think you should become a professional actor.”

“Okay, what is this about? You want something, don’t you? Are you trying to get me take you out for ice cream?”

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“No.”

“Hmm, perhaps you’re merely a poor judge of acting skill.”

“Can’t you just take a compliment?”

“Do you think you can? You’re incredibly handsome. What do you have to say to that?”

“You need glasses.”

“Ha! Who can’t take a compliment now?”

“Would you be happier if I thought I was the hottest guy on the planet and went strutting around?”

“No, that would make you a football player.”

We laughed.

“I like you as you are,” Eddie said.

“Really? Even though I’m sometimes a jerk?”

“You’re not a jerk to me. What I’ve witnessed is that you’re a jerk to those who deserve it. Oh yeah, how did it go with Mr. Shakespeare after school the other day? You never told me.”

“Ugh. Worse than I could have imagined. Mom invited him to stay for supper. They were laughing and having a great time. It was disgusting.”

“Think he wants to bone your mom?”

“Do not put that picture in my head.”

“Maybe they’ll get married and he’ll be your new dad.”

“Stop! Stop! I’ll have nightmares!”

“Hey, you could have a worse dad than Mr. Shakespeare.”

“I’ve already had a worse dad.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to hit a touchy subject.”

“It’s okay. He was a crappy dad because he ran out on us. I don’t even remember him well, but I do remember that he up and left. He packed his bags, moved out and I haven’t seen him since. I think I was maybe six then.”

“That sucks, man.”

“It would have been nice to have a cool dad. The worst part was that Mom was stuck with four boys to raise.”

“Tell me about your brothers.”

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“They should be flushed down the toilet.”

“No. Really.”

“Why do you want to hear about them?”

“I’m incredibly nosey, so start talking.”

“Well, Charles is fourteen and he is a nerd. He lives his life vicariously through books. He’s a know-it-all and in Texas I had to kick a few asses to protect him, not that he deserved my help. Mikey is eleven. He’s actually cool, although he can still be an annoyance.”

I walked on, not speaking for a while.

“That makes three of you. What about the fourth?”

“He’s... not around anymore,” I said.

“I’m sorry.”

“His name is Marc. He’s eighteen, if he’s still alive.”

“If?”

“Yeah. Mom keeps hoping he will come back, but he disappeared over a year ago. I’m pretty sure he’s dead.”

“Shit. That’s rough. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories,” Eddie said.

“The bad memories are always there. The truth is, Marc was pretty much an asshole. He smacked me around sometimes, mostly when he was high. He was a football jock, but he fucked that up. He was good at fucking things up. He was okay for a long time, but then he turned violent and mean. Some of it was drugs, but I think a lot of it was the pressure of trying help mom financially. I know he was selling drugs and he was getting into other stuff, too. He went out to a party with some buds and never came back. At least that’s where he said he was going. I think he was murdered.” I left out I’d done some of the same things.

“By his buds?”

“No, someone else. Someone... evil.”

We reached Eddie’s street.

“Sorry about that, Corbin, but thanks for telling me. If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here. I will also keep my mouth shut. What you tell me is just between us.”

“Thanks, Eddie.”

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“No sweat.”

Eddie threw me a wave, turned and walked down the sidewalk. I continued on.

I’d never told anyone about the real Marc back in Texas, but now I’d told Richard and Eddie about him. I don’t think anyone knew everything Marc was getting into. I knew more than most, but I was almost sure I didn’t know everything. In many ways, my older brother was a mystery.

I turned my mind to thoughts of Romeo & Juliet. I was looking forward to participating, in whatever way. I had a feeling it would be good for me.

I wasn’t hanging around with the best crowd back in Texas. Even after I stopped hanging out with the worst of my buds, the ones who remained a part of my life weren’t the best influences.

***

“Did you check the cast list yet?” Eddie said as he appeared beside my locker.

“No.”

“Want to go with me?”

“I thought I might wait until lunch.”

“You’re full of crap.”

“Okay, I’ll go with you.”

“Stop acting like you don’t care.”

“I care, but I’m setting my expectations low to avoid disappointment.

If I want to be involved, I’ll probably have to volunteer to build sets or work backstage.”

“That is a low expectation. You’ll get a part, a good part.”

“I’m shooting for either usher or set painter,” I said with a grin.

“You’re impossible.”

A group of kids were gathered around the door to the auditorium as we neared, so the list was obviously posted.

“I’m too nervous to look,” Eddie said.

“It’s not hard to look at a piece of paper, Eddie. I’m sure you have before.”

“Do me a favor. Check for me?”

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I groaned and walked toward the door. When I could get in close enough, I checked for our names. My mouth dropped open. I grinned. I turned and walked back to him, keeping my expression neutral.

“Well?” Eddie asked.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t get Mercutio.”

“Who did?”

“That would be me.”

“Awesome! Congratulations! I told you!”

“Thanks,” I said, smiling.

“What did I get? It’s a crappy part isn’t it? Or, did I not get a part?

Tell me. I can take it.”

“Well, you got a part. It’s not one I’d like, but it’s okay I guess.”

“Come on. Tell me. Quit tormenting me! How bad is it? Do I at least have lines?”

“Romeo.”

“Are you shitting me?” Eddie asked, his voice rising so high it was practically a squeal.

“Yeah, I’m messing with you. I wanted to build your hopes up and then destroy them because I’m that big of an asshole. No, I’m not kidding you!

Go look at the list yourself.”

Eddie did. Some of the kids checking the list patted him on the back.

He returned to me.

“I think I’m going to throw up.”

“Not on me, you’re not.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Believe it.”

“Now, I’m scared. Romeo? That’s one of the two leads! I can’t play a lead! What if I screw up? What if...”

“You’ll be great.”

“But...”

“Shut up! I said you’ll be great, so you will be. Come on. We need to get to class.”

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Chapter Six

“Look, it is Romeo and his friend, Mercutio, come to join us,”

Theodore said as we neared the drama table with our trays of chicken nuggets, tater tots, vanilla pudding and other items of lesser interest.

“Please, no speaking to the star unless you have permission,” I said.

“Hey, I’m the star here. I get to be one of the townsmen,” Billy said.

“Don’t let the pressure get to you, Billy. Congratulations, Eddie,”

Victor said.

“I keep expecting to wake up,” Eddie said.

“I keep telling him he was clearly the best during auditions,” I said.

“You also have the looks for the part,” Cynthia said.

“Eh. I don’t know if I can do it. I wanted a part, but not THE guy part,” Eddie said.

“Poor, poor Eddie,” Timothy said.

“It’s a lot of lines to memorize, too.”

“Well, you are blond, so that could be a problem,” Victor said.

“Hey!”

“You’ll do great,” I said.

“We’ll have lots of practices before any performance,” Theodore said.

“That’s right. You don’t think I’ll be able to look natural walking around aimlessly without a great deal of practice, do you? I have hours and hours of work ahead of me,” Billy said.

“You do have trouble walking,” Cynthia said.

Billy stuck out his tongue.

“I’ll run lines with you, Eddie. I’ll have a lot to memorize, too,” I said.

“Right up until you’re killed, Corbin,” Victor said.

“Wait. What?” I asked.

“Mercutio is killed in the play by Tybalt. Don’t pretend you didn’t know. You did his death scene for your audition. Don’t worry, Romeo kills the bastard. Oh wait, the bastard is me.”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to kill Victor for killing Corbin,” Eddie said.

“I’m jealous. Death scenes are so cool,” Timothy said.

“Just don’t drag yours out forever, Corbin,” Victor said.

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“I could say the same to you.”

“It’s really too bad Victor and I have to die so soon. You’re lucky, Eddie,” I said.

“You do know Romeo & Juliet die at the end, right, Corbin?” Cynthia asked me.

“What? That’s horrible!” I said, doing my best to sound surprised and shocked.

“I can’t believe you didn’t know that!” Cynthia said, totally buying it.

“I knew it. I was acting. I meant we die near the beginning. They get to live until nearly the end.”

“I look forward to killing you, Corbin,” Victor said.

“Yeah, but you won’t enjoy it for long,” Eddie said. “Maybe I’ll kill you before I’m supposed to do so.”

“I know, kill him before he has a chance to kill me,” I said.

“Maybe I’ll kill someone, just to switch things up,” Billy said.

“I doubt Mr. Ellis will like you altering Shakespeare,” Theodore said.

“It would make things more exciting.”

“I think things will be exciting enough,” I said.

“Yeah, Romeo is getting it on with Juliet, there’s lots of fighting and people are slaughtered. All it really needs is a car chase,” Timothy said.

“Too bad they didn’t have cars back then,” I said.

“Did you know Juliet is thirteen?” Victor said.

“No way!” I said.

“Yes, seriously. She’s thirteen and Romeo is the same age or a bit older.”

“Go, Romeo! Getting some at thirteen!” Theodore said.

“Maybe the parts should be played by middle school kids instead of us,” I said.

“Can you imagine how everyone would lose their minds over kids having sex?” Billy asked.

“What, you guys weren’t having sex at thirteen? I was,” Victor said.

“Hmm, I can’t tell if he’s telling the truth or not,” Billy said.

“I bet he is, look at him,” Eddie said.

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“How about you, Eddie? Look at you,” Cynthia said. She was such a flirt.

“No comment.”

“That means he did,” Timothy said.

“Actually, it means I like to make you wonder.”

I laughed. “I believe Victor,” I said.

“Believe or do not believe, I did,” Victor said with a grin.

I was sure I’d had more sex than everyone at the table combined, perhaps more than everyone in my class combined, but it was nothing to brag about.

I frowned and looked down at my tray, wondering what it would be like to have a normal life. I wasn’t ashamed of the things I’d done because it was what I had to do, and yet, I was, if that makes any sense. I wished things could have been different. I wished my dad hadn’t abandoned us and that Mom didn’t have to work so hard for us to survive. These kids didn’t know how lucky they were.

Eddie hit my knee with his own, causing me to look up.

“You okay?”

I nodded.

“There goes Juliet. I want me some of that,” Theodore said.

“You’re a pig,” Cynthia said.

“Hey, I’ll oink like a pig for a night with her.”

“Why are the guys all so crazy over her? What does she have that’s so hot?” Cynthia said.

“Uh, everything!” Theodore said. “I want her so bad.”

“You’re dreaming. She only dates older guys and jocks,” Billy said.

“I bet she’s a real bitch anyway,” Timothy said.

“I’ve been in classes with her. She was always nice to me,” Victor said.

“Well, that’s because you look like a jock, even if you aren’t one. I pity you Eddie,” Timothy said.

“Yeah, poor guy. He’ll have to kiss her,” Billy said.

“I’ll be your stand-in, Eddie. Anytime you have to kiss her, I’ll do it!”

Theodore said.

“You’re selfless, Theo,” I said.

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“I mean I pity Eddie for having to deal with her. Mark my words, she will be a prima donna,” Timothy said.

“I think we should wait and see,” Eddie said.

“I’m beginning to think we could perform a play based on the interactions of the cast. There is more drama there than in the play itself.

This could be scene one,” I said.

“Yeah, it could be called, ‘Theodore Gets a Stiffy Over Juliet,’” Eddie said.

“Eh, too long,” Timothy said.

“Yeah, I know I’m too long. It’s a curse,” Theodore said.

“You wish,” Billy said.

Lunch period ended and we split up. Eddie and I walked together to dump our trays. As we turned, I caught sight of a boy in a letterman’s jacket. I jerked to a halt and stared.

“What is it?” Eddie asked, following my gaze.

I continued staring, but no, of course, I was wrong.

“For a second, I thought I saw my brother. Marc.”

“The one who’s missing?”

“Yeah. I guess I have him on my mind. I dreamed about him not that long ago.”

“It’s not surprising he’s on your mind. If I had a missing brother, I’d think about him a lot, too.”

“It’s the not knowing that’s the worst,” I said as we began to walk toward our lockers.

“Yeah. Maybe he ran away to California and is living a life as a surfer,”

Eddie said.

“More likely, he’s a drug addict in a big city or he’s in jail for assault. I can’t say I really miss him, but then I also kind of do. I wish we knew what happened to him for Mom’s sake. She worries all the time. If we knew for sure what happened, it would be better, even if he’s dead. What?” I asked when I noticed Eddie smiling at me.

“I like how much you care about your mom.”

“She’s had a shitty life. Part of that is Marc’s fault, although he also did what he could to help. Part of it is my fault, but I’ve largely cleaned up my

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act. Most of it is my no-good dad’s fault for leaving her with four boys and no support.”

“You’re a good guy, Corbin.”

“No. I’m truly not,” I said, my expression turning hard.

A quizzical expression crossed Eddie’s face, but then he smiled.

“I know you’re no choir boy, but like it or not, you’re a good guy inside.”

“You only think so because you don’t know the real me. I gotta go.”

I walked away. Eddie was getting a little too close. I truly liked him, but I was fooling myself if I thought there could be anything between us.

I’d end up hurting him, or he’d walk away from me in disgust when he discovered some of the things I’d done. Either way, it was better not to get intimate.

***

“You okay?” Eddie asked as he dropped into the seat beside me in the auditorium.

“I’m fine.”

“Then, why do you sound like you’re angry?”

“I’m that kind of guy.”

“If you want to talk about it sometime...”

“I don’t! Okay?”

“Okay. Don’t bite my head off. I’m just trying to help.”

“You can’t help me. No one can.”

“I think you’re wrong about that.”

“That’s because you don’t know what you’re talking about. Just leave me alone, I need to look at my lines.”

I felt like a dick, but that was me and Eddie might as well get used to it. The sooner he learned it, the better off he’d be.

This was our first practice. Mr. Ellis ran us through what he called blocking, which I guess was a fancy theatre term for where to begin, where to go and where to stop. It was a lot easier to say blocking than all that. We slowly worked through the play, reading our parts off our scripts. We didn’t get to do any of the cool fight scenes. I might have been bored if I wasn’t

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trying so hard to get my lines to stick in my head. This play stuff wasn’t so easy.

Two hours later, we walked out the doors at the back of the school. The football players were also getting out of their practice and Eddie and I walked close to them as we headed toward home. Jerry Bradshaw caught my eye and nodded.

“What’s up with him?” I asked as we walked on.

“I think he’s into you.”

“What?”

“You know, into you. He wants you.”

“You’re crazy, Eddie.”

“Am I?”

“You think Mr. Football Hunk is a fag and is into me?”

“Harshly put, but yes.”

“How would you put it?”

“Gay or bi.”

“Gay?”

“The ‘60’s are over, Corbin. Guys who like guys are gay.”

“How do you know so much about it?” I asked, as I turned to look at him.

Eddie became uncharacteristically uneasy and even a bit fearful. He didn’t answer.

“Are you a fag?”

“The word is gay,” he said quietly.

“Okay. Gay. Are you?”

Eddie nodded.

I gazed at him a moment, then raised my right hand to scratch my forehead. He flinched.

He’s afraid I’m going to punch him, or worse.

“You? I don’t think so. Jerry? Impossible,” I said.

“I think I should know if I’m gay or not,” Eddie said.

“No, quit putting me on. You’re not... gay,” I said, trying to get used to the mostly unfamiliar term.

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“Yes, I am.”

“You can’t be gay. You’re too young, nice and good looking. Gays are older unattractive guys and... fucked up... whores,” I said, fighting off a sob that was upon me so suddenly I found it hard to suppress.

“I don’t know where you got that idea and I’m certainly no expert, but I figure there are all kinds of gay guys.”

“So, you’re serious. You’re gay?”

“Hello? Yes.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Corbin?” Eddie gazed at me anxiously, as if he still expected me to jump him at any second.

“No.”

I thought I knew what he was getting at, but that wasn’t possible. A boy like him could not possibly be attracted to a hustler like me.

“I like you.”

“Eddie, no.”

Eddie sighed. He seemed less fearful now, but more disappointed and upset.

“It’s okay. I knew you probably weren’t like me, but I had to take the chance, you know? I promise I won’t be weird about it. Can we still be friends?”

“I don’t know if you want a friend like me, Eddie.”

“A friend like you? I’m the one who is gay here. My only concern is if you want a friend like me.”

“Of course I do,” I said.

“Well, I want you for a friend, too, and I promise, I won’t try anything.

I know you’re not interested, so that’s that. I’m gay, not a creep.”

“You don’t really know me, Eddie.”

“I’d like to get to know you better, and I mean that in a non-sexual way.”

“You won’t like what you discover.”

“That’s for me to decide.”

“Just don’t expect much, okay? Don’t come crying to me when you find out I’m not who or what you think. When you’ve had enough, do me

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the kindness of telling me before you walk away.”

“I won’t walk away.”

“You will. You were scared of me just now. You thought I was going to punch you, but you weren’t scared enough.”

“I won’t walk away. Will you do me a favor? Don’t tell anyone about me, okay? Guys like me aren’t exactly popular, you know.”

“I won’t tell anyone. Believe me, I’m good at keeping secrets. I have a head full of them. So, you’re really gay?”

“How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Sorry, you’re just not the kind of guy I picture as gay. You think Jerry is into me?”

“Take it from a gay boy, yes. I know that look.”

“No, you’re wrong. Jerry looks like he should be on the cover of a magazine. Why would he be into a guy like me?”

“Check the mirror, dude. You’re hot. I’m gay so I know. I wish you were gay, too. Sorry,” Eddie said.

I gazed at him for a moment. I started to open my mouth, but I couldn’t make myself tell him I was attracted to other boys. It wasn’t so simple for me. There was so much other shit mixed up with my feelings that I felt ashamed to tell him. The truth was, I had never realized boys like Eddie existed. I figured I was turned into a homosexual because of the things that had been done to me. I never thought of it happening naturally. I guess I was pretty ignorant about the whole thing, but I tried not to think about it.

“All I can say is you have piss poor taste if you find me attractive,” I said.

“Are you kidding? You’re hot! Sorry.”

“I don’t think you have to apologize for saying you think I’m hot.”

“I don’t want things to be weird between us. I don’t want you to think I’ll grope you or something. I wouldn’t dare.”

“Because you think I’ll slug you?”

“I think it’s a distinct possibility, but mostly it wouldn’t be cool and I want us to continue being friends.”

I nodded. I also smiled to myself. Friends. Hearing him say the word made me feel good inside. When was the last time I had a real friend. Had

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I ever? Maybe when I was a kid, before everything became so screwed up.

I couldn’t even remember anymore.

We parted as we always did when we reached Eddie’s street. I watched him walk away for a few moments, feeling sad. A part of me wanted to run after him and tell him I was a fa... that I was gay. That was a far nicer word than fag. Being gay didn’t seem so bad, while being a fag was to be something disgusting. Maybe I could think of myself as gay instead of a faggot. It might mean the same thing, but it didn’t make me want to crawl in a hole and hide. I longed to tell Eddie I was like him, but was I really?

He was a sweet innocent kid. I was a hustler. No. We weren’t alike. We were both attracted to other boys, but we were nothing alike. The best thing I could do for Eddie is keep the truth from him. I couldn’t let him get too close. I didn’t want him getting mixed up in my world.

***

I opened the large envelope. Inside I found a note and several newspaper clippings.

Corbin, write me back as soon as you can, okay? I want to make sure you really moved to Indiana and that something bad hasn’t happened to you.

That was odd. The note was from Jake, who lived next door in Rome.

We weren’t exactly friends, but I had beat up guys who were picking on him a couple of times. I didn’t know why he was writing me or why he thought I might not be here. I continued reading.

You remember Todd and Gray from school? They’ve both been missing since about the time you moved. Not long after that, Billy disappeared and now Alex and Frank have, too. It’s like what happened with your brother. People are beginning to freak out here. I’ve put in a bunch of clippings from the paper about it. Anyway, let me know about you, okay? I appreciate what you did for me and hope nothing bad has happened to you.

Weird.

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I looked at the first clipping. It was about the disappearance of Todd and Gray. I knew Todd pretty well, and Gray very well. We got into trouble together sometimes and they worked Critchlow’s Corner, the pickup spot where boys went to make easy cash. Gray was the closest thing I had to a friend among the hustlers. We sometimes hung out together simply because we felt like it. If it wasn’t for Gray... I didn’t want to think about that now, but I owed him a great debt. One I could never repay. Now, he was missing. What had happened to them?

Todd and Gray disappeared at the same time and each sent a postcard to their parents saying they were heading out to Florida for a job, not to worry and that they’d be in touch. The cops didn’t think the notes were legit.

I knew for sure they weren’t. Todd’s parents didn’t give a shit about him. Gray’s dad was more likely to beat him than be worried about him. If Todd and Gray wanted to run off, they would’ve done so without so much as a word. They weren’t the types of guys to bother writing a postcard.

Something was up.

I read through the other clippings. There wasn’t much to them, except for when each of the boys were seen last and some quotes from friends and family. Mostly, the different articles repeated the same information.

I sat at my desk chair and thought about the missing boys. I knew all of them. Todd and Gray were guys like me, in desperate need of cash and willing to do what it took to get it. I’d cleaned up my act a lot, but the truth was I’d break into a house or car if that’s what it took to help my family.

Neither Todd nor Gray would hesitate to take advantage of an opportunity.

Billy and Alex were high more often than not. They didn’t get into hard drugs, but they smoked plenty of weed and huffed paint fumes. I hadn’t seen either at Critchlow’s Corner, but I could picture either of them hooking up with older guys for weed or pills or the cash to buy them.

Frank was the odd one out. He often drank and would get blasted at parties, but he drove a cool green Corvette and seemed to have loads of cash, actually more than he should have. We all wondered where he got the money. He didn’t have a job and I had never seen him working Critchlow’s Corner. He couldn’t make the kind of money he flashed on the corner anyway. All the guys drooled over his Corvette. A lucky few got to ride in it. I wasn’t one of them.

Now, they were all missing, just like Marc.

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I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans. I felt distinctly uncomfortable and uneasy. I wrote Jake a quick note, telling him I truly was in Indiana.

Jake was a dumbass. He’d seen us pack up the car and leave. He’d even come over to say, ‘goodbye.’ I didn’t see why he’d think I wasn’t here. I’d mail the note anyway. Jake wasn’t a bad guy and it was nice of him to care.

***

“No. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to let him do that. Eww,” I said.

“Come on, Corbin. He’ll give you ten bucks. Ten bucks, little brother.

Dean is a cool guy. It will be over before you know it. All you have to do is sit back and let him do it. It will feel good. I promise.”

I hesitated.

“Just come, okay?” Marc said.

Twelve-year-old me followed my older brother. I was uneasy. Marc sometimes hit me and made me do things I didn’t want do, but he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. He’d once kicked the shit out of a boy who bullied me.

I looked up to Marc. He was on the football team. He was tall and strong beyond belief. I’d be okay. He’d protect me and keep anything bad from happening.

I followed him up the walk to a house that looked much like the others in our neighborhood, an ordinary, boring house. Marc knocked and an older guy, perhaps in his 30’s answered and ushered us in.

“You guys want a beer?” he asked.

“You know it,” Marc said. I hesitated. “Go on.”

“Sure,” I said.

The guy returned with two cold beers and handed them to us. I opened mine and took a drink. I didn’t like it much, but I felt grown up drinking it, and it was beer! I was drinking a beer!

“So, this is Corbin. He is as handsome as you said.”

I looked at my brother. He said I was handsome? He was not known for compliments, insults and sarcasm, yes, but compliments, no.

“Yeah. Corbin, this is Dean. You’ll like him. He’s cool.”

“Hey,” I said, wondering about the whole situation.

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“So, you want to make ten bucks real quick?” Dean asked.

I looked at Marc. He nodded encouragingly.

“I guess.”

“Have a seat,” Dean said.

I did so. Dean kneeled in front of me. I grew uncomfortable as he ran his hand up my leg and more so as he groped me. I took a gulp of beer and closed my eyes as Dean pulled down my shorts and underwear. Soon, I felt wet warmth, not at all unpleasant. It felt good actually. It wasn’t long at all before I moaned and shot.

“Nice.”

Dean stood, pulled out his wallet and handed me a twenty instead of a ten, as I pulled my shorts up.

“Thanks!” I said.

“Thank you. Come back any time you want to earn another twenty.”

I nodded.

“We have to get home. Mom will freak if we’re late for supper,” Marc said.

“Thanks, Marc,” Dean said, pressing something into my brother’s hand. Marc stuffed it into his pocket and motioned with his head for me to follow.

We walked outside and down the sidewalk.

“What did he give you?” I asked.

“None of your business.”

“Come on. I did what you wanted. Tell me. What was it?”

“Fifty bucks.”

“Fifty bucks? Why?”

“Finder’s fee. He gave it to me for bringing you.”

“Just for that?”

“Yeah.”

“He must be rich.”

“He has plenty of money. You can’t tell, Mom. Got it?”

“I’m not stupid and you think I’m going to tell her what I just did?”

“Just making sure. Don’t tell anyone about this or I will hurt you.”

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“Okay, I won’t.” I knew he meant it. When Marc said he’d hurt me, he wasn’t kidding. He wouldn’t let others hurt me, but he’d do it himself without hesitation.

“Wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked as we walked on.

“I guess not.”

I stirred, stretched and opened my eyes.

Marc. It was as if I was with him again. I hadn’t thought about that day in a long time, perhaps because I chose not to think about it.

I was such a stupid kid then. My big brother had pimped me out and I was too dumb to know it. Our relationship had been a complex one, a mix of love and abuse. He wasn’t what anyone would call a good older brother, and yet, sometimes, I missed him.

I got up and walked to the bathroom, wondering what it would have been like to have a normal older brother. Was there such a thing? I wondered what it was like to live in a home with a mom and dad, where the kids didn’t have to worry about helping to pay the bills. I felt like my childhood had ended on the day Marc took me to see Dean. That’s when everything began to change. That’s when I realized how Marc got the cash he used to buy groceries and secretly cover bills without Mom knowing.

What would Marc have been like if our family wasn’t broken? What would he have been like if he didn’t feel the need to help Mom pay the bills?

Would he still be with us? Would he have been a kind older brother?

I headed for the kitchen after getting dressed. I was greeted by the scent of scrambled eggs.

“Can you finish these, Corbin? I have to run.”

“Sure thing, Mom. I’ll feed the rug rats.”

“Hey!” Mikey said. Charles shot me a disdainful glare.

“Behave yourselves. Don’t forget to turn off the stove.”

“Yes, Mother,” I said, shooing her away.

She quickly kissed each of us on the cheek and departed.

Charles continued working on the toast and I finished scrambling the eggs. We sat down and began to eat.

“Pass me the jelly,” Mikey said.

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I pretended I was going to pass it like a football. He ducked, but then I handed it to him.

I gazed at Charles. I wondered...

“What?” he asked sharply when he noticed me staring.

“Did Marc ever take you to meet a guy named Dean?” I asked.

“Nope,” he said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. What does it matter? Who’s Dean?”

“I just wondered. He’s a guy Marc used to hang out with.”

I looked at my younger brothers as we ate. I was glad Marc hadn’t gotten them involved. I wonder if he would have if he hadn’t disappeared.

Hopefully, Charles and Mikey could grow up at least semi-normal and not fucked up in the head like Marc and me. I was determined to take care of them and Mom. I wouldn’t get them involved the way Marc did me. I wouldn’t expose them to the seedier parts of my life.

My brothers headed out. I took a few minutes to clean up, then snooped through the mail. I found the unopened electric bill and stuffed it into my pocket. I’d pay it and Mom would never know.

I thought about Marc as I walked to school. I missed him, hated him, loved him, cursed him and admired him. Things had been tougher on me since he’d left and it had made me realize how much he’d done to help. It had been hard to take over the task we’d shared. I guess I’d become him, in a way, but I wasn’t going to treat Charles and Mikey like he’d treated me.

I’d never do that to anyone.

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Chapter Seven

“Excellent sword work, Corbin. Now, you must learn how to die,” Mr.

Ellis said.

“Why do you sound so happy about me dying?” I asked.

“Do I?” Mr. Ellis asked with a smirk.

My death scene involved several of the boys in the cast who played the Montagues and the Capulets. We had already worked on it for nearly an hour because it was so complicated. Victor, who was playing Tybalt, and I fought with our swords, playfully at first, but then more seriously.

I was disappointed as Mr. Ellis described how Victor would deal the blow that killed me. Seriously? Eddie would hold me, trying to break up the fight and Victor would stab me under his arm? It seemed so tame. If Shakespeare was so great, why couldn’t he come up with anything better?

Despite the letdown, I paid careful attention as Mr. Ellis trained Victor how to deliver a convincing mortal sword thrust and me, how to react to it.

At first, we weren’t so good and earned a few laughs from the rest of the class, but we began to get it.

“Okay, now. Let’s try it with the dialogue. Begin at ‘Tybalt you rat catcher,’ Corbin,” Mr. Ellis said.

We did so. Victor and I both garbled some of the lines, Shakespeare isn’t easy! Mostly we did well. The scene was still complicated after I was stabbed because the others believed I was only pretending to be hurt. Only near the end did they realize I was actually wounded. Then, the laughter, taunts and smiles faded.

Mercutio:

I am stabbed!

A plague o’ both your houses!

I am dying and Tybalt is gone with no punishment.

Benvolio:

What, are thou hurt?

Mercutio:

Ay, ay, a scratch, it is enough!

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Where is my page? Go, fetch a surgeon.

Romeo:

Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.

Mercutio:

No, ‘tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but ‘tis enough, ‘twill serve; ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I am done, I warrant, in this world.

A plague on both your houses!

Why the devil came you between us. I was stabbed under your arm.

Romeo:

I thought all for the best.

Mercutio:

Help me into some house, Benvolio,

Or I shall faint. A plague on both your houses!

They have made worm’s meat of me:

I have it,

And soundly too: because of your houses!

I died a quiet death upon the stage. The last thing I wanted to do was overact.

“Excellent, Corbin. You left out a bit and we’ll need to work on your delivery, but that’s an amazingly good beginning.”

Eddie gave me a hand up.

“I thought you were dead.”

“I got better,” I said with a grin.

“Okay, let’s move on,” Mr. Ellis said.

I liked acting, but this Shakespeare stuff was weird. Did they truly talk like that way back when? Much of it barely made sense. I’d likely never do another play after this one, but it was fun. Eddie and I walked home together after practice. He was handsome, witty and charming. If my life was different... but there was too much I could never tell him, and, the truth

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was, he deserved better than me. I had my good points, but they were far outnumbered by the bad. I suspected I would die at an early age, not unlike Mercutio, but probably not from a sword thrust. I was somewhat surprised I was not dead already. I had already come close once.

“I didn’t know this would be so hard,” Eddie said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Our lines. No one talks like that. Courage man, the hurt cannot be much. ”

“Next time we do it, say, Suck it up, bitch,” I said.

“I don’t think Mr. Ellis would much like that.”

“I get what you’re saying. Think what it would be like if we were doing the original version and not a modernized script. I don’t understand half of what I’m saying the way it is.”

“There is no way I could do the original. I’d need a translator. I tried to memorize a bit of it. Let’s see... Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee doth much excuse the appertaining rage. I mean, what the hell is that?”

“I think it means that since Romeo loves Juliet, he must get along with Juliet’s relatives and then... something about anger,” I said.

“Yeah, that’s what I mean. You need a translator.”

“Courage, Romeo.”

“Easy for you to say. You have a lot of lines, but then you die. I have to memorize lines for nearly the entire play. Maybe Mr. Ellis could rewrite it so that I die sooner.”

“I doubt that would go over well.”

“Pity.”

Eddie looked at me and chewed his lip.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“No, there’s something.”

“You’ll get mad if I tell you.”

“No. I won’t. Tell me.”

“You will, but I was thinking what a cool boyfriend you’d be if you were gay.”

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Eddie looked sad, so sad I considered telling him I was a homo, but that would open up too many possibilities between us. Many were possibilities I desired, but I couldn’t afford the intimacy. I had too many dark secrets and, sooner or later, I’d hurt him.

“I’m not mad. It’s because I’m so hot, isn’t it?” I teased.

“Where did this sudden conceit come from? Before, I couldn’t get you to admit you’re good looking.”

“I’m acting. I am an actor, you know, at least for a while.”

“You don’t plan on making it a career?”

“Yeah, right. I’m not that good and I don’t like it that much. I think this play will be fun, but I doubt I’ll do another. You?”

“I don’t see much of a future in acting, but this may not be my last high school play. But, to answer your question, I think you’d make a cool boyfriend because, besides being hot, you’re amazingly cool, kind and caring.”

“Who the hell are you talking to? Certainly not me.”

“Yes, you.”

“I care about my family, although there are times I would like to drown Charles. Everyone else can go fuck themselves.”

“Even me?”

“Well, almost everyone else, but as I warned you before, I am not a nice guy.”

“I think you are and simply don’t know it.” I began to open my mouth, but Eddie held up his hand and continued. “Yeah, I know, you’ve been in trouble, you’ve done some things you shouldn’t, but that doesn’t make you a bad guy. You are a nice guy trapped in a tough life.”

That was closer to the truth than I’d admit, but Eddie didn’t know everything.

“Some of the guys I knew in Texas have disappeared,” I said.

I hadn’t planned on sharing that, but I felt the sudden need to talk about it and Eddie was my only option.

“Disappeared?”

“Yeah. Several of them. Each sent a postcard home saying they were heading off for a job, some to Florida, some to California. The writing

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looks like theirs, but the cops don’t think any of the post cards are legit.”

“Damn. What do you think?”

“I know they aren’t legit. The guys who have disappeared weren’t nice guys either. One of them has parents that don’t give a shit about him.

Another has a dad who beats him. None of them would even think of bothering to write a postcard to their parents.”

“You think there is a connection to your brother’s disappearance?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Did he send a postcard, too?”

“No.”

“Why do you think there’s a connection then? Yeah, he disappeared, too, but that was quite a while ago, right?”

“Yeah, about a year.”

“Have others gone missing since he disappeared, before this group?”

“Not that I know about.”

That I know about. Rome was just outside of Houston. A lot of boys could have gone missing without me knowing anything about it.

“Then why do you think there’s a connection?” Eddie asked again.

“These disappearances could have nothing to do with his.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I shouldn’t have brought it up,”

I said.

I should have kept my mouth shut. I shouldn’t have told him anything.

Why was I so stupid?

“Okay.”

I looked at Eddie. He didn’t press me. If he had I would have no doubt become angry. I think he knew that. He knew how to handle me. I sighed.

I wished... but that could never be.

I walked on alone after Eddie turned onto his street. If I was smart, I’d stop hanging out with him, but I needed a friend and he was the only friend I had.

I wondered about the disappearances. Had there been others? Was what had almost happened to me connected? Should I tell someone?

I chewed on my lip. No, I wasn’t going to tell anyone what I knew. I sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to any damn cops. Besides, I lived in

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Verona now. What happened back in Texas was none of my concern.

I was surprised to see Mr. Shakespeare’s car in the drive when the house came in sight. I was equally surprised to see Mom propped up on the couch with an ice pack on her ankle when I walked into the living room.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I twisted my ankle at work. It’s not serious, but I have to stay off it for a couple of days.”

“What’s Mr. Shakespeare’s car doing in the drive?”

“He was there when it happened. He drove me home and now he’s in the kitchen preparing supper. He insisted.” Mom smiled.

No. This was not good. Worse. It was a nightmare. My mom and a teacher? Yuck. Mr. Shakespeare? Double yuck. He’d hauled me up in front of the entire class my very first day and then threw me in with the barbarian jocks. I think he actually meant well, but geesh. I did not need more Mr. Shakespeare in my life. Having him here for supper once was bad enough, but this was unbearable.

“Mr. Shakespeare?” I asked, still in a state of disbelief.

“Well, I call him Will,” Mom said in a disquietingly happy voice.

I call him interfering pain-in-the-ass.

“He comes to eat at the café nearly every day after school,” Mom said, smiling.

No. No. No. No. This wasn’t happening!

“Go in and see if he needs any help, please, Corbin.”

“Sure thing, Mom.”

It was bad enough I had to see him at school. Now, he was in my home. Again!

I dutifully walked into the kitchen.

“Hello, Corbin. Your mom said you like catfish, so I ran out and bought some. Right now, I’m working on potato salad. Do you know where your mom keeps the dill?”

“Uh no.”

“Never mind, I’ll find it. Do you and your brothers like French fries? I bought a bag of potatoes so I thought I’d make fries, or is that too many potato dishes?”

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“I’m sure it will be fine.”

“Nasty shock finding me here, isn’t it?”

“Well...”

“You have a wonderful mother, Corbin. She is the kindest, sweetest lady. She’s very attractive, too. I can see where you get your good looks.”

Okay, this isn’t at all awkward. Please, let me die now.

“She’s a good mom. She works hard to pay the bills,” I said.

“She isn’t seeing anyone, is she?”

“Uh, no.”

“Great.”

No. Please. No.

“Do you need any help?” I asked.

“No. I have it covered. Leave supper to me tonight.”

“Okay, will do. See ya later.”

I departed from the kitchen, feeling distinctly unsettled. Maybe this was all a bad dream. Yeah, that was it. This was a bad dream. My weird teacher was not in my kitchen fixing supper. He hadn’t asked if my mom was available. This was a dream. I’d wake up soon and everything would be fine. That is what I chose to believe.

I walked to my bedroom and started on my homework. In the past, I largely blew it off, but actually doing my homework was a part of my effort to clean up my act.

I’d come a long way since Marc disappeared. Even before we left Texas, I had stopped selling drugs and stealing. I also stopped smoking weed and huffing paint fumes. Since moving to Verona, I hadn’t been suspended from school and had stayed out of trouble except for the incident with Joe and that was totally his fault. I was certain no one would consider me a good boy for selling my ass, but I had my reasons. I sure as hell didn’t do it for fun. The guys who were willing to pay were mostly ugly old dudes I had no desire to touch, but I did what I had to do. Overall, I thought I’d done a good job of improving myself. I had no intention of being a hustler forever. Someday, I’d leave that behind, too. That would be the last step in becoming the Corbin that I wanted to be; the last step in putting my disturbing fucked up past behind me.

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When my homework was out of my way, I turned my attention to my lines. I had a lot to memorize. Poor Eddie had far more. I wondered if I’d made a mistake in auditioning, but then our first practice had been fun. I liked being with the others and messing around on the stage. Maybe, I could even make some friends.

I got to it. I read through my scenes and said the lines out loud as I paced in my room. The one good thing about having to memorize lines was that I forgot all about the sinister presence of Mr. Shakespeare, that is until he knocked on my door.

“Supper is ready, Corbin!” he called out.

I tossed my script on my desk. It was time to return to the disturbing dream that was my life.

I walked into the kitchen to find it filled with pleasant scents. Charles was filling glasses of ice with tea and Mikey was arranging silverware. Mr.

Shakespeare entered with Mom clinging to his shoulder and hobbling toward the table to stay off her bad ankle. He gingerly helped her into her chair.

“Oh my,” Mom said when she took in the platter of fried catfish and the big bowls of potato salad and French fries. “You have gone to far too much trouble, Will.”

“I rarely get to cook so this has been a pleasure.”

“I think the pleasure will be in the eating,” Mikey said.

“Well, you haven’t tasted it yet. It could be horrible!” Mr. Shakespeare said, then tickled him.

Mikey squealed and giggled.

“Everyone dig in please,” Mr. Shakespeare said as he took the empty seat at the opposite end of the table from mom. It’s the seat where our dad would have sat, if he hadn’t abandoned us so long ago.

I seemed the only one to find this situation strange. Charles appeared to be pleased by the presence of Mr. Shakespeare, but then he was a weird nerd. Mikey liked everyone. Mom was enchanted. I felt like I was in a fairy tale where everyone else was under the spell of an evil wizard and did not realize their danger.

The catfish was really good. I loved fried catfish and this was the best.

I found myself smiling as I ate it. I wasn’t a huge fan of potato salad, but it

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was surprisingly tasty and the fries were crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. Perfect.

“This catfish is great. It’s spicy,” I said, feeling like I should give Mr.

Shakespeare a compliment since he’d fried it with me in mind.

“Oh, well that is my super-secret herbal seasoning,” he said, then leaned over and whispered loudly to Mikey, “I buy it in a box.”

Mikey laughed.

“This is so nice. Do you know the boys often make supper so I don’t have to when I get home from work?” Mom said.

“We’re not very good cooks, though,” Charles said.

“I think you are wonderful sons,” Mr. Shakespeare said.

“They are,” Mom said. “I’m very proud of them.”

I wondered what would happen to that pride if she knew what I did on weekends, and what I’d done in the past. She knew about me getting busted for burglary. I could still remember the look on her face when she came to pick me up at the police station. I could well remember the lecture she gave me, too, and how I very nearly ended up in juvie. It was the disappointment in Mom’s eyes that had made me straighten up, for the most part. My brothers were exactly what they seemed, but me... I had a dark side. Mom would be ashamed of me if she knew more about my secret life, past and present.

“Corbin makes great meatloaf,” Mom said.

“Mom taught me how. It’s easy to make.”

“But disgusting, to make that is,” Charles said, wrinkling his nose.

He’d helped once and couldn’t handle squishing the ingredients together with raw hamburger.

“You are a lucky woman, Joyce.”

“Mostly, yes.”

Mom looked toward the door of the kitchen, as if hoping Marc would walk in. I was almost certain that would never happen.

“When I was a boy, long, long ago. We used to each tell everyone what we did during the day while we ate,” Mr. Shakespeare said.

Oh please. Lame.

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“We did this art project in class like that famous painter guy, the one with the ear,” Mikey said.

“Van Gogh?”

“I think that’s him. He painted real thick and we got to do the same. I painted a tree, but I can’t bring it home until it dries.”

“Oh, I’d love to see that.”

“You can the next time you come over.”

“Well, I’m only here helping your mom this evening. She’ll be better soon.”

“Oh, you must return to see Mikey’s painting,” Mom said, smiling brightly at Mr. Shakespeare.

Was she flirting? Yep, this was a bad dream. My mom was flirting with Mr. Shakespeare, and worse, he liked it.

Maybe I’ll choke on a catfish bone and end my agony.

“I’d like that. What did you do today, Charles?”

“I handed in my book report early. It was on Socrates and his trial.”

“Oh, that’s an interesting topic.”

“It’s believed he died by eating hemlock.”

I am sooo bored!

“That is what is generally believed and it’s likely true, but...”

Mr. Shakespeare and the nerd began talking about things of no interest at all. Ancient Greece, who cared?

“What did you do, Joyce?” Mr. Shakespeare asked when the torment of his conversation with Charles ended.

“Well, I went to work as usual and did very well with tips, but then I did the stupidest thing. I slipped on a pen, twisted my ankle and nearly dumped an entire tray of food, but the handsomest man caught me in one arm and the tray with his other hand. Then, he even brought me home.”

“Tell me more about how handsome this man was,” Mr. Shakespeare said.

Gag.

Mom laughed and proceeded to do so.

Double Gag.

“What did you do, Corbin?”

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I feared my turn would come.

“I was stabbed and died.”

“You don’t look dead to me,” Mikey said.

“During play practice.”

“Oh yes, you’re playing Mercutio. That’s a great part. I can’t wait to see you perform,” Mr. Shakespeare said.

How did he know that? Was he stalking me?

“I like it okay.”

“What did you do, Mr. Shakespeare?” Charles asked.

“Call me Will, please. I had a wonderful day teaching delightful students, then I ate at the amazing Café Moffatt and got to spend time with the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Oh please.

“Who?” Mikey asked.

“Your mom.”

“Oh yeah!”

Will the torment never end?

I looked at Mom as she smiled at Mr. Shakespeare. I didn’t think I’d seen her this happy in quite a while. I sighed. Why did it have to be him?

“I fear I’m not an expert with desserts, but I baked chocolate chip cookies,” Mr. Shakespeare said.

“Yay! My favorite!” Mikey cheered.

“Every cookie is your favorite,” Charles said.

“Except the ones mom burned to a crisp that one time,” I said.

“Shh. We don’t talk about that,” Mom said.

“Oh, I forgot I had cookies in the oven once, until I noticed the smoke.

They were like charcoal. I forgot to set the timer and then become engrossed in a book,” Mr. Shakespeare said, making Mom laugh.

Okay, that was not that funny. Why is she laughing?

I feared I knew.

After supper and after helping Mom back to the couch, Mr. Shakespeare asked if I’d help him do the dishes. I could hardly refuse.

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“Let me put tea on for your mom and then we’ll get to it,” he said.

“You want to wash or dry?”

“Dry.”

What I want is to get outta here.

Soon, we began our delightful task.

“Listen, Corbin, I asked you to help because I want to ask you something.”

Here we go. He’s going to pry into my private life.

“I’m sure you’ve figured out I like your mom. I wanted to ask your permission to ask her out on a date.”

“What?” I asked, taken off guard.

Why was he asking me?

“You’re the man of the house here, Corbin. I know your mom is quite old enough to make her own decisions, but it affects you, too. Word could get around that your mother is dating a teacher.”

“Uh.”

“I truly like your mom. She’s a special lady. I promise you that if we date, my goal will be to make her happy.”

How can I say no to that, especially when what I want most is for Mom to finally be happy?

“Okay, it’s cool with me then.”

“Great. Thank you so much.”

“It’s no problem,” I said.

I wasn’t sure how to take this guy. He freaked me out more than a little.

After far too long alone in the kitchen with Mr. Shakespeare, I was finally, finally able to escape and make it back to my room. I practiced my lines more, mostly to forget that Mom was about to begin dating one of my teachers. It was a nightmare I didn’t even want to think about.

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Chapter Eight

I leaned up against an abandoned storefront on the chicken strip. This is how I spent my Saturdays when I could. The jobs available to teens in Verona were all taken and most paid under $2 an hour, so it was well worth my time to hitch to Plymouth, where I could usually expect to come away with twenty bucks and sometimes a good deal more.

I’d already made twenty bucks today and it was barely past noon. The guy had wanted me to blow him. I much preferred to be on the receiving end, but I could only pop so many times. I could give head endlessly.

Eli stood not far away, wearing jeans and no shirt. His long black hair trailed down to his shoulders. Eli was built, which gave him a huge advantage with guys who liked muscles. Luckily for me, some like them slim.

A Chevy pickup slowed, then stopped in front of Eli, who walked over and leaned in the window. He spoke to the driver a bit, then walked over to me.

“Want to come with me? He wants something kinky, but not too bad.

There’s fifty in it for each of us,” Eli said.

“Fifty? What does he want?”

“He wants to spank us and then he wants us to blow him together.”

“Yeah, okay,” I said.

I did not like the idea of getting spanked, but for fifty it was worth it.

I’d done this often enough back in Texas to know that some older guys were into weird stuff. When I was fourteen, a guy actually paid twenty bucks to lick my sneakers while I cussed him out. That was an easy twenty, except that at first it was hard to keep from laughing because it was so ridiculous.

Once I got going with the foul language, I got into it enough to keep my laughter at bay. The guy was a freak, but he was also nice, which is always a good thing.

Eli climbed in the cab and I followed.

“This is Jack,” Eli said.

“You both look like bad boys,” the driver, who was probably in his forties, but not in bad shape, said.

“You have no idea how bad we are,” Eli said, playing the game.

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“I think you both need to be punished.”

“It won’t stop us from being bad,” I said, joining in. This was a little like acting in a play. Eli and I were playing parts. We were being what the guy in the truck wanted us to be.

We kept up the talk until we reached our destination, a house only a few blocks away, one of those homes with a heavy-looking concrete porch on the front.

We followed the guy into an incredibly clean and neat living room, where he turned to us.

“Take off all your clothes,” he said.

We did so as he placed two stacks of bills on a side table. Damn, Eli was packing. No wonder he did so well on the chicken strip.

“Get on your hands and knees, side by side.”

We did so. The guy took off his belt and smacked my ass with it. I yelped.

“This is what happens to bad boys. You get punished.”

I yelped again as the belt stung my ass. Eli yelped, too.

“Yeah, that’s right, you little whores. This is what you deserve.”

I cried out each time the belt hit my ass. My butt was beginning to get numb. I did not care for this at all, but fifty bucks was fifty bucks.

The guy walked out in front of us. He dropped the belt on the carpet.

He had a huge bulge in his slacks. He obviously got off on this.

He unzipped his pants and pulled out a surprisingly big dick without taking his slacks off.

“Get over here and start licking, bad boys.”

This part was actually kind of hot, especially when my tongue connected to Eli’s. The guy began moaning and groaning and cussing us out and soon he blew a sticky mess all over our faces. He stepped back and gazed down at us, then smiled.

“That was great boys. Get dressed and I’ll take you back.”

The stern disciplinarian was gone, replaced by a nice guy who chatted about his garden as he drove us back to the chicken strip. We were soon back where we started.

“My ass still stings,” I said.

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“It will be sore tomorrow, too, probably, but it’s worth it, right?”

“Definitely.”

We took up our positions again. A couple of other boys had appeared in our absence. We nodded to them. I recognized them both, although I didn’t know their names. One was a small redhead, younger than me. The other was a lanky blond who was probably getting near eighteen.

First, the redhead, then the blond were picked up in the next hour, leaving Eli and me alone on the strip again.

An old Ford Galaxy pulled up and the guy inside gazed at me. I walked over and looked in the open passenger window.

“Get in,” he said.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Just get in and we’ll talk.”

“No. Tell me what you want first.”

He sighed, as if I was wasting his time.

“I’ll pay you a hundred.”

“For what?”

“I want to cuff you and pound your tight teen ass.”

I was already beginning to back away when I felt Eli’s hand on my shoulder. I looked at him and he shook his head.

“No thanks,” I said.

“Two hundred!” the guy called out.

“No!” I shouted, turned and ran to the end of the block and around the corner. I leaned against the wall, trembling as memories from the past forced their way into my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut to block them out.

I flinched when I felt a touch on my arm. My eyes snapped open and I drew my fist back, but it was only Eli.

“You okay?”

I fought back the sobs trying to get out. One escaped and tears filled my eyes, then spilled down my cheeks. I wiped them away.

“Dude? What’s wrong? Why are you freaking out?”

“Flash back,” I managed to get out.

Eli awkwardly put his hand on my back, then reached around and held me in a one-arm hug. I didn’t try to pull away, but I stopped crying and

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wiped my eyes with the bottom of my shirt.

“Sorry,” I said.

“I’ve had some bad experiences myself. It goes with the territory, you know? You’ve obviously been through worse than me. You don’t strike me as the kind of guy who loses it easily.”

“It was bad, very bad. I have nightmares sometimes. The expression on that guy’s face reminded me of someone,” I said.

“You wanna get out of here and spend a little of the cash we made?

You need to chill.”

“If you talking about drugs, no. I stay away from that shit now.”

“I actually meant McDonald’s,” Eli said with a grin.

“Yeah, okay. I’ve made enough today and I don’t feel like doing another.”

“Cool, let’s go.”

We began walking. Eli led since only he knew the way. “About that last guy. I warned you off him because he’s dangerous. He beat the shit outta one kid and he’s stiffed two others.”

“Was that John?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’s him. El Camino John. I didn’t recognize him immediately because I haven’t seen him in that car before. We need to spread the word about the change of vehicle. You do not want to go with him.”

“Thanks for warning me, but I backed off as soon as he said he wanted to put me in cuffs.”

I absent-mindedly rubbed my wrists.

“Wanna tell me what happened that made you freak out back there?” Eli asked. “It helps to talk sometimes and I won’t tell anyone nothin’ about what you say.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Man. I think talking about it would bring back too many bad memories.”

“It’s cool. I get it. I have things I don’t want to remember, don’t want to talk about and don’t even want to think about. If you change your mind, I can often be found on the chicken strip. If not, that’s fine, too.”

“Thanks.

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“What’s your story? Why are you here? If you don’t mind me asking,”

I asked after a bit.

“You first.”

“Fair enough. My dad is long gone and zero help. I have two brothers and Mom tries to support us all on the money she makes as a waitress.” Eli winced. “Yeah. She actually thinks she call pull it off, but there is no way, so I help out, mostly without her knowing.”

“Without her knowing?”

“Yeah, I pay the electric, gas or water bill. If she says something about it, I tell her she already paid it. Hopefully, I won’t make her think she’s getting senile.”

“You look so bad ass, but you’re actually a nice guy.”

“No. I’m truly not. You have no idea the terrible things I’ve done.”

I thought of my friends that had disappeared in Texas. Was that my fault? Maybe. Likely. I couldn’t think about it.

“Understood.”

“I openly help Mom some. When I’m here in Plymouth, she thinks I’m home in Verona earning money by doing odd jobs, but I can’t flash too much cash or she’d get wise. Regular jobs do not pay what working the strip does.”

“No shit.”

“I don’t mind doing it so much since I am into dudes.”

“Yeah, but not the kind of dudes who pay, right?”

“Yeah, I pretend I’m with one of the boys from school when working here.”

“I pretend I’m with a hot babe.”

“How does that work when you’re taking it in the ass, or do you not do that?”

“It doesn’t work at all!” Eli laughed. “I take it in the butt. I don’t like it, but I get paid more for doing it. You actually like it?”

“Yeah, it can feel good if you get used to it.”

Eli nodded.

“I’m going to stop working the strip as soon as possible, but college is expensive. There is no way my grandmother can pay for it. I may get

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scholarship help, but probably not enough. My plan is to go to college, get a good job, then put my brother through school.”

“Does your brother know what you do to earn cash?” I asked as we arrived at McDonald’s.

“No, and I plan for him to never know. I sure don’t want him doing it.”

“Same here. My brothers don’t know and I don’t want them to ever know. My older brother got me into it when I was twelve.”

“Shit man. That’s just wrong.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s messed up.”

We were inside now, browsing the menu, so we had to watch what we said.

“Why isn’t he... doing what you do?” Eli turned to boy behind the counter, who was probably making $1.50 an hour or less. “I’d like a quarter pounder, large fries and a large Coke.”

“He’s dead,” I said, then ordered. “I’d like a Big Mac, large fries and a large Coke.”

“Oh, that’s rough,” Eli said, moving on.

“Yeah, I definitely have mixed feelings about Marc. He was cool at times, but he was also abusive. He got me into things he should not have.

Believe it or not, you’re hanging out with the cleaned-up version of me. I was into some very bad stuff.”

Soon, we were seated at the table.

“How did he die?”

“We’re not actually sure he’s dead. He went missing months ago.

Mom keeps hoping, but I think he was murdered.”

“Shit, he must have been into some hard-core stuff.”

“Yeah, maybe more hard-core than I realized. I knew he sold drugs and did shit like that, I did too for a while, but I think he may have been into something much worse.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Fair enough.”

“I like how you don’t pry.”

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“Hey, your business is your business. I’m interested and want to know as much as you’ll tell me, but you don’t owe me anything. We’ve all got secrets, man.”

“So, how old is your kid?” I asked with a grin.

“I don’t have one. I want to have kids someday, but that will have to wait.”

“I hope you get everything you want.”

“Same to you.”

“Oh, I love McDonald’s!” I said after biting into my Big Mac. “I haven’t had it in forever.”

“It’s good, and cheap.”

“Last time, Richard took me out to eat. That was so amazing. I truly thought he’d, you know, but he didn’t.”

“Nope, all the boys know Richard. He’s simply a lonely old guy. He’s as safe as they come. All he wants is a dinner companion.”

“I like him.”

“We all do.”

Eli and I looked like any other guys our age. None of those sitting in McDonalds would guess we were hustlers unless they saw us on the chicken strip and knew what went down there. For that matter, my brother looked like all the other jocks, until drugs reddened his eyes and began to mess up his looks. I wondered what others harbored dark secrets. Was the boy working behind the counter a rapist? Was the dad sitting with his family near us banging the babysitter? Did his teen son bang his little sister or mom? What depravities did all these people engage in during the dark of the night? Or, were they all what they appeared to be and nothing more? I wished I was what I appeared to be, but I doubted that would ever come to pass. Maybe someday.

“You’re deep in thought,” Eli said.

“I often am. I’m not as dumb as I look.”

“I didn’t think you possibly could be.”

“Ha. Ha,” I said, then mouthed, ‘Fuck you.’

“That will cost you.”

“Sorry, I only sell. I don’t buy.”

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Eli grinned, then popped a fry into his mouth.

We had a nice lunch, then walked out together.

“You heading back to the strip?” Eli asked.

“Nah, I’ve made enough for today and my ass stings.”

“Mine, too. I think I’ll head home and take some aspirin.”

“See you next weekend, maybe.”

“Let’s hope. Later, Jack.”

“Later, Eli.”

I walked out to the street and stuck out my thumb. It was time to return to Verona and transform from boy hustler into school boy.

It took me a while to get home. I must have walked a couple of miles before an old lady picked me up and gave me a ride into Verona. She had driven into Plymouth to shop at Kroger. I repaid her for the ride by helping her carry in her groceries. She smiled at me and thanked me when I left. I had a feeling she was exactly what she appeared to be, a nice old lady.

Mom quickly stood and walked toward me the moment I walked through the front door, concern evident on her features. Was this it? Had she discovered my deception? What lies could I make up to hide what I was doing in Plymouth?

“Come sit,” she said and patted the cushion of the old sofa a neighbor had given us. She didn’t seem angry, but I still didn’t relax. Something was most certainly wrong.

“Are Charles and Mikey okay?” I asked as a new worry descended upon me.

“They’re fine. It’s your father. He was killed in a bar fight in Maine.”

“Oh. Are you okay?” I asked Mom.

“I’m not sure how I feel, Corbin. He wasn’t a good husband or father, but we had a few good years before things began to go bad. When I think of the good man I loved, I’m sorry he’s gone. When I think of the man he was before he ran out on us, I feel nothing.”

I hugged Mom and held her tight. I had no idea what to say, so I held her. When I released her several long moments later, she patted my knee.

“I’ll be okay. How are you?”

I shrugged. “I barely remember him.”

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“I wish things could have been different.”

“Me too.”

I put my arm over Mom’s shoulder and sat with her, providing what comfort I could, or perhaps what I gave her was companionship. My father hadn’t been there for her in a long time, just as he hadn’t been there for any of us. With my presence, I let Mom know that I was here for her. I would never leave her like my father did.

We were still sitting there when Charles and Mikey came home together.

“Want me to tell them?” I asked, as the pair gazed at us with concern in their eyes.

“No, you go on. I will.”

I left the room as Mom called my brothers to the sofa. They knew our father even less than I did, but I wasn’t sure how they’d take the news.

How did I feel? My father was dead. I knew this should have been a traumatic loss filled with grief and tears, but I felt very little. I hadn’t seen him in years. The few memories I had of him were neither good nor bad.

He was indifferent to me before he left. He has that way with all his sons.

It was as if he didn’t know how to interact with us, or perhaps he simply didn’t care. He wasn’t a loving dad, that was for sure. He was just there, until he wasn’t. He left without warning, without even saying goodbye. I hadn’t seen him or heard from him since I was little. My father wasn’t a part of my life, so there was no loss. Even so, it felt weird to know he was dead.

When I spoke with each of them later, Charles and Mikey weren’t upset either. Charles barely remembered him. He was a stranger to him. Mikey had a soft heart, but he told me he didn’t even remember our father. Mikey was so young when he was abandoned that he didn’t have a single memory of him. It was rather sad that a man had died and his sons didn’t care. He was a stranger to us and his loss was no loss at all, except for Mom. She had too much pain and disappointment in her life.

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Chapter Nine

“So, this is where you live,” Eddie said as we entered the front door.

“Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.”

Eddie shouldered me, but shot me one of his cute grins.

“Mom won’t be home until later, so let’s head for my room.”

“Who’s this?” Mikey asked as he walked into the living room.

“The lead singer of Led Zeppelin,” I said.

“Come on!”

“Eddie, meet the pest.”

Mikey put his hands on his hips and stamped his foot, which only succeeded in making him look adorable.

“I’m Mikey,” he said.

“I’ll tell you a secret, Mikey,” Eddie said, leaning down to put himself on my little brother’s level. “Your brother told me he likes you.”

“Shut up, will ya? He’s not supposed to know that. He’s horrible, I tell you. Horrible!”

Mikey laughed and moved on.

“Oh, that’s my other brother, Charles, the world’s most boring person,”

I said as we passed his room.

“Bite my ass,” Charles said and held up his middle finger without bothering to turn from his desk.

“As you can see, we’re very close. Here we are, this is my room,” I said.

“Very Spartan. Oh, nice stereo.”

“It’s ancient, but it actually is great. The sound is amazing, but we need to run lines.”

“Are you sure you’re still willing to do this?”

“Yes, but if you tell anyone I read the Juliet parts, I will kill you.”

“Understood. I mostly need to work on the balcony scene. Let’s pick it up right after Juliet speaks.”

“Works for me.”

We found our place in the script and Eddie began.

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ROMEO

She speaks:

O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art

As glorious to this night, being o'er my head

As is a winged messenger of heaven

Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes

Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him

When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds

And sails upon the bosom of the air.

JULIET

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name;

Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

ROMEO

[Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

JULIET

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,

Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part

Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!

What's in a name? that which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet;

So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,

Retain that dear perfection which he owes

Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,

And for that name which is no part of thee

Take all myself.

ROMEO

I take thee at thy word:

Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized;

Henceforth I never will be Romeo.

JULIET

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What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night So stumblest on my counsel?

ROMEO

By a name

I know not how to tell thee who I am:

My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,

Because it is an enemy to thee;

Had I it written, I would tear the word.

JULIET

My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words

Of that tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound: Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?

ROMEO

Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike.

“Oh, Romeo! You’re such hot stuff, Romeo!”

I turned and stalked toward the door.

“Shut up, Charles!”

“I didn’t know you were playing Juliet, Corbin. I think your voice should be a bit higher.”

“You tell anyone about this and I will pull your underwear so far up your crack you will never get them out.”

“Okay. Okay. I won’t tell anyone. Are you practicing the love scene next?”

“Leave or I will kill you,” I said.

Charles laughed and returned to his room.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve considered smothering him.”

“As much as I love my younger brother, I do have fantasies of flushing him down the toilet,” Eddie said.

“Hey, you want to trade? I will give you both of my younger brothers for yours. Two for one, that’s a great deal.”

“You might be sorry.”

“I’m willing to take my chances.”

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Eddie laughed. “Thanks so much for helping me with this. Elizabeth is so busy we don’t have a lot of time to run lines.”

“You know, she seems downright sweet during practices. I expected her to be a bitch.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t fit the beautiful popular girl stereotype. I’ve been to her house. She is very sweet. She has a hot brother, too. Sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about that.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I know what most straight guys think of guys like me. You’re very kind to even hang out with me.”

“Shit,” I said.

“What?”

“You’re making me feel like a creep.”

“I don’t understand. You’re anything but a creep.”

I went over and closed my bedroom door, then returned to Eddie, who looked rather confused.

“I should have told you this before, but I didn’t want things to get weird or complicated between us. I don’t truly want to tell you even now, but you’re a nice guy and I don’t want you to feel guilty talking about hot guys.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m gay, too.”

“Yeah? Awesome!” Eddie said, grinning.

“Listen. I didn’t tell you before because I don’t want a relationship with you, beyond what we already have.”

“Why not? I’m not hot enough for you?”

“It’s not that at all, Eddie. You’re hot.”

“What then?”

“You’re a nice guy, Eddie. Like I told you before, I’m not. You don’t want to get too involved with a guy like me.”

“Come on. You are too nice. I’ve never seen you be anything, but nice.”

“That because you’ve only seen what I let others see. There’s a whole other Corbin you know nothing about and, trust me, you would not like

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him.”

“You can’t possibly be as bad as you say. I think we’d be great together.”

“In Texas, I got in all kinds of trouble. I was suspended from school more than once and I’m lucky I didn’t end up in jail. I broke into houses and stole shit. I did drugs. I sold drugs.”

“Come on, you didn’t really do all that, did you? You’re just shitting me, aren’t you?”

I shook my head. “No. I did all of that and more. I used to show up for school so high I couldn’t find my classes. I came so close to being put in juvie it’s scary. I’m not a nice guy, Eddie.”

“Okay, you did all that stuff, but that’s the past, right? You don’t still do any of that, do you?”

“No. I stopped because I watched my brother destroy himself. He was a handsome football jock with muscles you wouldn’t believe. He was popular and all the girls wanted him. When I was a kid, I idolized him, but then everything went to hell.”

“Okay then. That’s all in the past. That’s a Corbin I don’t know. I like the Corbin you are now.”

“There’s more and you might as well hear it. Once you do, you’ll probably want to leave. I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“I won’t want to leave, but I promise.”

“When I was twelve, my older brother introduced me to an older guy and taught me that I could make cash by selling myself.”

“You mean, like prostitution?”

“Yeah.”

“Your brother did that to you? That’s messed up.”

“Yeah, Marc was a real sweetheart. The brother I’d once admired pimped me out.”

“Shit, but, again, that’s the past.”

“No. I left the other stuff behind because I didn’t want to end up like Marc, but I still sell myself. I’m a hustler, Eddie. Still think I’m a nice guy?”

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“You really do that?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Why?”

“To help Mom pay the bills.”

“She knows?”

“Fuck no and she never will. She works hard trying to support us. She doesn’t need to know that one of her son’s sells his ass to old dudes to pay the electric bill.”

Eddie smiled at me.

“What the fuck are you smiling at me for? Have you been listening to any of this? Former druggie and drug dealer? Former and current criminal? Is any of this coming through? You’re an innocent little high school boy who doesn’t want to get involved with a guy like me.”

“I think you’re wonderful.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you on drugs?”

“The fact that you’d do that for your mom and your brothers, that’s amazing. You put yourself through that, for them.”

“Maybe I like it,” I said.

“Do you?”

“No. There is a certain level of excitement to it and sometimes it’s not too bad, but the guys who pay are not hot.”

“I can imagine. So, there you go. You do something unpleasant, something that obviously makes you ashamed, to help your family. You aren’t a bad guy, Corbin. You’re a good one.”

“You don’t know the whole story.”

“I know enough, and as for the innocent little high school boy comment, we are the same age and trust me, I’m not innocent.”

“Oh, you tried smoking a cigarette once, big deal.”

“Actually, I haven’t. Cigarette smoke smells gross.”

“Okay, then, why aren’t you innocent?”

“You can’t tell anyone this, okay?”

“I will add your secret to all the others I keep.”

“You know Jerry, football god and your next-door neighbor?”

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“Yeah?”

“I’ve been sucking his dick and taking it in the butt since the 6th grade.

I do the same for a couple of his buds. Still think I’m innocent?”

“I’m impressed. Jerry Bradshaw? Really? I have fantasies about him.”

“Yeah, that’s what I figured when I caught you checking him out. I figured then that you were into guys.”

“Okay, but that’s just sex. It doesn’t compare to what I’ve done.”

“This isn’t a contest, Corbin. The point is, I’m not innocent. This may surprise you, but I’m not going to start hanging out on a street corner to sell my ass because I hang out with you. I’m blond, but I’m not easily influenced, especially into doing something I don’t want to do.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid, but maybe a little naïve.”

“I’m far less naïve than you imagine.”

“Still, you and I are not a good idea as anything more than casual friends.”

“What about close friends who confide in each other?”

I shook my head. “I’ve confided all I’m going to. I don’t want anyone getting too close to me.”

“Okay, well, there is other stuff we can do,” Eddie said, closing in and gazing into my eyes.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Even as I said it, my dick flexed.

“Nothing romantic, no boyfriend stuff, just fun.”

Eddie gazed into my eyes, then leaned in and kissed me. I began to push him away, but he groped my bulge and worked it with his hand. I began to kiss him back and shot my tongue into his mouth. He worked at my belt and zipper while we kissed. I went for his and soon we were stroking each other.

Eddie sank down and blew me. It was so unexpected and I was so excited, I lasted only seconds before I shot. I went down on him and he didn’t last much longer than me.

I stood, pulling up my underwear and jeans.

“You bastard,” I said. “I didn’t mean to do any of that with you, but when you started groping my dick, I couldn’t stop myself.”

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“Still think I’m innocent? I knew you’d push me away and I knew how to stop you. Now that we’ve done it, you’ll want more. You aren’t in control here, Corbin. I am.”

“You asshole,” I said, then kissed him.

I knew Mom would be home before long, so I opened the door and we continued to run lines. I had not expected this turn of events and was not sure I liked it. I was almost certain it was a mistake, but I was equally certain I wouldn’t be able to resist Eddie when he next made a move. He was freaking sexy and hot!

“I should start getting supper ready,” I said a bit later. “Why don’t you stay?”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Please, you can help me cook.”

“Oh, I see. What you really want is free help in the kitchen.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay then.”

We walked to the kitchen where I checked the ancient refrigerator. It seriously needed to be replaced. “It’s like stepping back in time,” Eddie said.

“Yeah, in a nightmarish way.”

“Nah, it has character.”

“Not much in there,” I said, closing the refrigerator door. “I should have gone grocery shopping. I don’t know what I’m going to make.”

“Hmm, have mac and cheese?” Eddie asked.

“Most likely,” I said, checking the cabinet. “Oh yeah, lots of it.”

“Grab a couple of boxes. Any tuna?”

“Why tuna?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Yeah, here’s a tin.”

“Okay, I’ll show you how to make something.”

“I’m intrigued.”

“Yeah, whatever. I assume you know how to make mac and cheese.”

“My culinary skills are extremely limited, but that’s one of my specialties.”

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“Okay, get to it then.”

“Bossy.”

“You know you like it.”

I smiled. Actually, I did.

I filled a pan with water and set it on the stove, which Mom had taught me how to use.

“Have bread?” Eddie asked.

“Sure.”

“We’ll make toast to go with it. You know how to do that, right?”

“Yes, smart ass.”

“Oh, my ass can do all kinds of tricks. I’ll show you someday.”

The bulge in my jeans got a little harder.

“Any canned vegetables?”

“Green beans in that cabinet.”

“Perfect.”

Eddie grabbed a pan and opened two cans of beans. He next began cutting an onion as he gazed out the kitchen window.

“Oh, I think I see something. I’ll be right back,” he said, taking the knife with him.

Eddie returned in mere moments.

“I was right. Basil,” he said, holding up stems he’d cut from a plant.

“Is that what that is?”

“Yeah, did your mom plant it?”

“She doesn’t have time for stuff like that. It must grow on its own.”

“No, you have an herb garden out there. A previous occupant of the house must have planted it. You should take care of it.”

“Eh, I’m not much of a gardener.”

“Me, either, but herbs are easy. I’ll help you.”

“Are you moving in?”

“You wish!”

“Uh, no!”

Eddie laughed.

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Mom walked into the kitchen several minutes later and stopped when she spotted Eddie.

“This is Eddie. He’s playing Romeo in the play and right now he’s helping me prepare supper. I asked him to stay.”

“You’re certainly handsome enough to play Romeo. You have the most beautiful eyes.”

“Mother.”

“No, it’s quite okay! Thanks,” Eddie said.

“What smells so good?”

“Eddie has been doing strange things to the mac and cheese.”

Mom took a look. “Mmm, that smells like basil.”

“It is, you have an herb garden. There are lots of herbs you can use for cooking out there,” Eddie said.

Supper was ready soon. Mom called my brothers into the kitchen.

“What smells good?” Mikey asked.

“Everything Eddie prepared,” Mom said.

“Excuse me! I worked on it, too,” I said.

“Yes, Dear,” Mom said, humoring me.

I shot Eddie a glare. He returned it with a grin.

We all sat and began to eat.

“This is a lot better than your mac and cheese, Corbin,” Mikey said.

“Lots better!” Charles said.

“It’s the same, except with basil and tuna,” Eddie said.

“This is wonderful boys. My feet are so tired I dreaded having to cook supper,” Mom said.

“I hope you can live with us from now on and cook, Eddie,” Charles said.

“I don’t think my parents would like that.”

“We can send them Corbin.”

“No, you are not sending my baby away.”

“Mother!” I said. Eddie grinned.

Did all mothers specialize in embarrassing their kids? It was a hobby for mine.

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I began to feel as if I was sitting at the table with my family and my boyfriend, but that feeling immediately made me sad. Eddie could never be my boyfriend. No one could. Sure, he was understanding about the darker side of my life, but he didn’t know everything. He didn’t know the worst. I had a feeling I didn’t know the worst either, but I was beginning to suspect what part I may have played in terrible events.

“Did you happen to make dessert?” Mikey asked.

“No, sorry. We didn’t even think about that,” Eddie said.

“You didn’t think about dessert? What’s wrong with you?” Mikey asked.

“Actually, if you check the counter, you’ll find cupcakes I scored on the clearance rack at the grocery yesterday. I bought them with money I earned, so dessert is on me this evening,” I said.

“Yes!” Mikey said and quickly ran over and grabbed the package of vanilla cupcakes with buttercream icing and sprinkles, and handed them out.

“You shouldn’t spend your money on groceries,” Mom said.

“We’ve had this discussion, Mother. I’m old enough to contribute and I earn plenty of money doing odd jobs.”

Eddie and I exchanged a glance. I didn’t like lying to my mom, but sometimes it was necessary. It wasn’t technically a lie. Prostitution could come under the heading of odd job.

Charles gazed at me a few moments as if he suspected something fishy, but perhaps my guilty conscience made me see suspicion where there was none.

After supper, Eddie and I returned to my room.

“Now, you’ve met everyone and have seen evidence that my brothers are completely horrible.”

“I think they’re great.”

“Eh. Mikey is cool, but Charles thinks he knows everything. He’s such a freak.”

“He’s merely different from you. That doesn’t make him a freak.”

“Maybe not, but I like thinking of him as a freak. It makes putting up with him easier.”

“Your mom is wonderful. I can see why you want to help her.”

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“She likes to embarrass me, but she deserves all the help she can get.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty awesome.”

“I agree. Someday, I hope to land a job that I don’t have to hide from everyone.”

“Change is one of the few things you can count on,” Eddie said.

“Yeah, but will the change be for better or worse?”

“Hopefully better.”

“Regardless, we’d better get back to practicing lines or our performances will be the worst.”

We ran lines until fairly late. We also worked in making out and gave each other head once more. I slept very well when I finally turned in.

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Chapter Ten

“I need to talk to you, alone,” Mom said.

She sounded serious. This was not good. Did she know? Had she somehow found out her son was a hustler? That was one of my constant worries.

“Okay.”

Mom took me into the kitchen and closed the door. She poured us both cups of hot tea.

Uh oh. When Mom brought out the tea, the news was bad. She believed tea could make anything better.

“I’m sure you remember Mrs. Marshall, our next-door neighbor in Texas?”

“Yes.”

“She contacted me. Jake is missing.”

Shit.

“You haven’t seen him, have you, Corbin?”

“Huh? No. Why would I have seen him?”

“Mrs. Marshall wanted me to ask you because Jake told her that you took up for him when other boys tried to bully him. She thought he might have come here because he believed you would help him.”

“Well, I would help him, but I haven’t seen him.”

“Are you telling me the truth, Corbin? You aren’t helping him if you’re hiding him or aiding him in running away.”

“I’m telling the truth. I haven’t seen him since we left Texas.”

“I know you’re a truthful boy, Corbin, but I had to make sure. His mother is frantic.”

This was a cringe moment for sure. Me. Truthful? If she only knew...

“I swear. I haven’t seen him.”

“I’d hoped he was here. I’m afraid something bad may have happened to him. Mrs. Dickenson sent me the most recent newspaper from back home when she asked for my pineapple cake recipe. You may not remember her, but anyway, there have been a number of disappearances and I’m afraid you know some of the boys who have disappeared.”

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Tell me something I don’t know and think about every second of every day.

“In addition to the disappearances, two bodies were discovered by hikers outside of town,” Mom said.

Be careful what you wish for.

“One of them wasn’t Jake, was it?” I asked, fearing the worst. “No, wait. You wouldn’t ask me about him if one of them was him.”

“No, they were identified as Frank Moody, you knew him, remember?

The other was Fred Strachey. He was barely thirteen.”

“Yeah, I knew Frank. He drove that cool Corvette.”

Which he couldn’t possibly afford.

“It’s a mother’s nightmare. I keep thinking how I’d feel if it was Marc they’d found.”

I took Mom’s hand and kept my mouth shut. It wouldn’t surprise me if his body was found somewhere. Mom still clung to the hope he was alive, but the hope of that dimmed by the day. I was almost certain he was dead.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Corbin, but I thought you should know. Don’t tell your brothers.”

“I won’t.”

I stood, then leaned over and gave Mom a hug. Poor Mom.

I searched my memory for Fred Strachey as I departed from the kitchen, but couldn’t remember him. There were sometimes younger boys at Crichlow’s Corner, but if he was one of them, I’d never learned his name.

Mostly, it was high school age boys who worked the corner.

Frank Moody. He had always been a mystery to all of us. He didn’t hang out at Crichlow’s Corner. I’d never seen him there and neither did anyone else. His family was poorer than mine, but one day he appeared at school driving that incredible green Corvette. It wasn’t new, but close enough. None of us ever figured out how he could afford the gas, let alone the car, or how he came up with so much cash to throw around when he didn’t appear to have a job.

Frank. He was everyone’s bud. He picked up the tab at the drive-in repeatedly for friends and acquaintances. He was a good customer in my drug dealing days, too. He talked, laughed and told great stories, but he was always closed mouthed about his private life. He was a man of

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mystery we all admired. Now, he was dead. Was his death connected to that Corvette and all the cash? I wondered.

I went down into the basement and searched through the few boxes that were left from our move. It took half an hour, but I found what I was seeking, the front page of our old hometown paper from Texas. On the back was subscription information. I went upstairs, wrote out a check and subscribed. I wanted to know what was going on back in Texas.

***

“Weird shit is going down back in my old hometown,” I said, as Eli and I stood shirtless on the chicken strip. It was hot as balls and sweat ran down my chest and back.

“Yeah? What kind of weird shit?”

“A couple of the hustlers I knew disappeared and another guy I knew was found dead along with a younger boy.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. I don’ think I knew the boy, but Frank was always a mystery.”

I told Eli about the Corvette and the cash that seemed to appear out of the air.

“And, he didn’t hustle?”

“Not as far as I know. I never once saw him on our version of the chicken strip.”

“I wonder if every town has a place like this,” Eli mused.

“Not every town, but I bet plenty do.”

“Yep, there are always guys like us who need cash and older guys who are willing to pay for a young bod. Hey, maybe Frank had a sugar daddy.”

“The thought had crossed my mind. I wondered why he was found with the younger kid. Both of them were naked.” I’d learned that detail later once my subscription to my old hometown newspaper started.

“Maybe someone caught them doing it and killed them.”

“Possible, I guess, but I don’t think so.”

“Whatever happened, it’s probably a good thing you moved.”

“Yeah, not that anywhere is safe. There are creeps everywhere. I never trust anyone, especially the guys who hire me.”

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“Same here, except Richard.”

“Yeah, except Richard.”

“A guy wanted to tie me up once. He offered me a lot of cash. I turned him down,” Eli said.

“Wise choice.”

“There was another guy who wanted me to tie him up. That I did. I kept thinking how stupid he was to let a boy he didn’t know tie him up. He wanted me to abuse him, but I could have done anything to him. I could have stolen all his stuff, taken his car and killed him.”

“So, you’re saying you have a new car, huh?”

“Funny! I hustle, but I don’t steal and I sure wouldn’t kill anyone, but I could have and there’s nothing he could have done about it. He was completely at my mercy.”

“Sounds like you got off on it.”

“It was hot. I have to find a girl who will let me tie her up.”

“Good luck with that!”

“Yeah.”

A red Mustang pulled to the curb and Eli and I walked over. Inside was a very old and truly ugly guy.

“I want to watch you two do it with each other,” he said.

“Just watch?”

“Yeah.”

“A hundred,” Eli said.

“Okay.”

Eli and I looked at each other. Neither of us thought he’d agree.

“You’ll be the bottom, right?” Eli said quietly.

“Just for you.”

“Ha. I HATE to bottom. It’s the worst.”

“Only for you, Straight Boy.”

We climbed in.

“I’m... Trent,” the driver said as he pulled away from the curb.

It was likely he was as much Trent as I was Jack, but I said nothing. If he was paying, he could be anyone he wanted to be.

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I eyed Trent as he drove. He was clearly nervous and I figured he’d never done this before. The windows were down, but the interior of the car was still an oven. I was soaked with sweat by the time we pulled into a driveway on the edge of town.

We followed Trent inside. It was one of the cleanest houses we’d ever seen, but we didn’t get beyond the living room.

“I’m told I should pay up front,” he said and took two fifties out of his wallet.

“You can just put them on the side table. That’s the way it usually works,” Eli said.

“Thanks, I’m new at this.”

Duh.

I kind of felt sorry for the guy, but I was glad I didn’t have to touch him.

“Whenever you boys are ready.”

Eli and I drew together and began to make out. I immediately got a bulge in my shorts. I wished this was what it was like every time. A boy could dream.

Our chests were slick with sweat from the heat of the day, although it was cooler inside. We kissed and let our hands roam. I began to forget about Trevor as Eli and I got into it.

I sank to my knees soon and gave Eli head. Before he popped, we switched positions. I watched him do me for a bit, but couldn’t for too long because a straight boy blowing me was too hot. I was afraid I’d blow if I watched too long.

I completely forgot about Trent watching us as I pulled Eli to his feet and kissed him again. I turned around. He placed his hands on my hips and soon he was inside me.

I didn’t have to fake my moans, groans and whimpers. I doubted that Eli did either. He was attracted to girls, not guys, but from his urgent thrusts I could tell that lust had taken over. He grunted and groaned and then I felt him throbbing inside me as he exploded. I lost control when I felt him unleashing his stuff and made a mess on the carpet without even touching myself.

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I felt Eli’s hot breath on my neck as he held himself inside me. He slowly pulled out. Only then did I remember Trent was watching us.

“That was worth every penny,” Trent said. “Get dressed and I’ll take you back.”

We dressed, each picked up our fifty and followed Trent back to his car.

“You boys have no idea how lucky you are to experience such an intense level of lust. As you get older, that diminishes and not everything works as it once did. I’d give almost anything to be young again.”

“It is rather fun,” Eli said.

“It can also be an annoyance. My dick has a mind of its own and it rarely behaves,” I said.

“Enjoy that annoyance while you have it. You’ll miss it when it’s gone.”

Minutes later, Trent let us out.

“Have you noticed old guys always give advice?” I asked as Eli and I once more stood on the chicken strip.

“The nice ones do. He’s probably right, you know.”

“I’ll remember that the next time I roll onto my stomach while asleep and nearly break my dick.”

Eli laughed. “Been there, done that.”

“I wish I could get paid to do it with someone young and hot every time.”

“So, you think I’m hot, huh?”

“Yes, quit fishing for compliments.”

Eli laughed. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You were really into it when I was pounding you, weren’t you?”

“Oh, hell yes. It made me pop.”

“I do not get that. Bottoming stings and hurts like hell. I do it as little as possible and charge a lot because I hate it so much.”

“If you did it more often, I bet you’d like it. When you’re used to it, it’s one of the best feelings in the world. Seriously, I feel like I could take it from our entire football team.”

Eli laughed. “Slut.”

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“Only if given the chance.”

“Well, I don’t plan to take it in the butt any more than absolutely necessary, so I doubt I’ll ever develop the desire to take it from an entire sports team.”

“There is also the straight thing.”

“That has a lot to do with it. Do you date guys or just have sex with them?”

“You mean when I’m not working?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I love sex, although I don’t get to do it much outside of work.

What I truly want is a boyfriend. I want someone who can be a friend. I want us to go on dates and have a real relationship. Sex is definitely a part of that, but what I want most is someone to love me.”

“So, it’s not that different for you guys. I’ll hook up with a girl if I get a chance, but a girlfriend, and someday a wife, is what I want most.”

“I can’t speak for all homos, but I don’t think it’s that different. I want a relationship with a boy. You want one with a girl. Otherwise, it’s the same.”

“I’m glad I met you, Jack.”

“Corbin. My real name is Corbin.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Corbin. I’m Elliott.”

Richard pulled up soon after. We walked over to his old Dodge.

“Are you boys hungry?”

“Always!” I said.

“Hop in, both of you.”

We gladly did so.

“Having a good day?” Richard asked.

“I’m having a great day. A guy paid us just to watch,” I said.

“It was far more enjoyable than my usual jobs,” Eli said. I kept thinking of him as Eli, even though I now knew his real name.

“Hopefully, this will continue to be a good day for you,” Richard said.

“I like spending time with you,” I said.

“You know I do, too. Are you feeling okay, Richard? You look pale.”

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“I feel as good as can be expected for one my age, so I have no complaints.”

Eli looked concerned. It was obvious he cared for the old guy. He’d only picked me up once before, but I cared about him, too.

We climbed out of the car at Shirley’s. I gave Richard a hand and Eli held the door open for him. The waitresses greeted him as he entered. I was quite sure they knew Eli and I were hustlers, but they didn’t seem to mind or judge. We were two of Richard’s boys and any friend of his was welcome.

“I don’t even need to see a menu. I want the fried chicken and mashed potatoes again,” I said.

We all ordered fried chicken. Well, Richard didn’t order. Our waitress already knew what he wanted without asking. The only thing that varied in our orders was the vegetables. Eli had green beans.

“Richard, what did you do for a job before you retired?” I asked as we waited on our food.

“He was a teacher,” Eli said.

“Yes, I taught science for decades. I loved it.”

“Was it difficult when you had handsome boys in your class?” I asked quietly.

“Actually, no. I’ve always been attracted to males and females. My students were my children. While I noticed if they were good looking, I didn’t think of them like that. Had I, problems could have arisen, but remembering the tough times in my own youth, I’ve always sought to help the young. I was married at the time, too, and wouldn’t have considered cheating on my wife. I’m lucky, I guess. Had I been different, my teaching years could have been rough.”

“A lot of married guys have picked me up,” Eli said.

“Me too,” I said.

“I don’t judge others. Everyone has a reason to do what they do.

Others could easily judge me harshly, especially when they don’t know the whole story. I’m sure each of the boys I pick up on the chicken strip expect me to want more than their company.”

“I did,” I admitted.

“Me, too, the first time,” Eli said.

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“I’m not at all surprised. It is rather unusual for an older man to hire a boy for nothing more than as a dinner companion.”

“You’re more than a dinner companion to me. You’re like... a grandfather,” Eli said.

“Same for me, although I haven’t known you as long. When did you two meet?” I asked.

“A couple years ago, or was it three?” Eli said.

“It was quite a while back.”

“I’ve told Richard he has no need to pay me and that I’ll pay for my own meal, but he won’t have it,” Eli said.

“He certainly will not! Grumpy old men always get their way.”

“You’re not grumpy,” I said as our waitress arrived with our orders.

“Oh, you should see me before I’ve had my coffee,” Richard said and grinned. “Thank you, Cheryl.”

Our waitress departed and we got down to the serious business of eating.

We chatted away while we ate and then Richard grimaced and held his hand to his heart.

“Richard?” I asked, concerned.

Shirley, the owner of the place and the two nearest waitresses hurried over.

“Are you okay?” Eli asked.

“Yes, I’m fine now. That happens now and then. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“Have you seen a doctor about it?” Shirley asked.

“Yes. He says nothing can be done about it so there is no need to worry. I am suffering from old age. That is all.”

“Well, if you need anything, you call me,” Shirley said.

I smiled. Everyone cared about Richard.

“Yes, yes, I will, now quit fussing over me.” I noted Richard’s smile as he said it.

Richard was back to normal in moments, but I was worried about him.

“You’re a very lucky guy, Richard,” I said. “You have so many people who care about you.”

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“You certainly do,” Eli said and I could tell he meant it.

“Yes, you’re right. I am lucky and all because of the boys from the chicken strip and the wonderful waitresses and patrons of Shirley’s Café.

Without you, I would be alone. With you, I am surrounded by kindness.

What more could I want?”

I wondered if I’d end up like Richard someday. He’d been married, but his wife was gone. He had no family and likely his friends had died too, or he wouldn’t be hiring hustlers for their company. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad, at least not if I could be like Richard. He was alone, but not alone.

We finished up with dessert; apple pie for Richard, cherry for me and peach for Eli. Richard paid the check, left a tip and handed us both a twenty. I felt bad for taking it, but I also knew he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

“Where would you boys like me to drop you off?” he asked.

“I’m done for the day, can you take me home?” Eli asked.

“Of course. How about you Jack?”

I’d told Richard my real name, but he didn’t know I’d also told Eli.

“Home, too, if you don’t mind.”

“Mind? I’m delighted. That way I get to spend more time with you.”

Eli’s home turned out to be a trailer, but at least it was well-kept. I doubted anyone would guess that a hustler lived there. Eli gave Richard a hug and then Richard and I bid him ‘goodbye’ and then headed for Verona.

“You seem close to Eli,” I said.

“I’ve known him for some time. I also hire him for odd jobs. I’ve grown too old to take care of my own lawn and there are other tasks I can no longer handle. He sometimes comes to me with his problems.”

“That’s cool.”

“You can come to me with yours as well, Corbin.”

“I already knew that without you saying it,” I said. Richard smiled at me.

I had him drop me off in the park again. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to know where I lived. I didn’t want my mom or brothers to see me getting out of a strange car. I gave Richard a quick hug, just as Eli had done before getting out of the car. I missed the old guy even as he drove away.

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Chapter Eleven

“Hey.”

I stood up and turned. Jerry Bradshaw leaned against my locker, standing so close I could smell his Old Spice.

“Hi.”

“You wanna go for a ride?”

“A ride?”

“Yeah,” he said, chewing on his gum. “A ride with a stop for some fun, your kind of fun.”

Jerry looked me up and down. I’d been checked out like that before, but by older guys who were deciding if I was worth the price I’d quoted...

Did he know?

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yeah, you do. I know you do.” Jerry leaned in close and whispered.

“I know about you and Eddie. I want you to do for me what you do for him.”

My face darkened, not because of the offer, but because of Eddie. He said he’d keep quiet, but he’d already blabbed.

“How many guys know about that?” I asked, angrily.

“Just me. Your secret is safe.”

I’d heard that line before, from someone who obviously could not be trusted.

“I can’t this afternoon, but... another time?”

“Yeah,” Jerry said, grinning. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “I want to fuck you hard, Corbin.”

I swear my dick instantly got hard. Jerry smiled at me and chewed on his gum.

“Sound like a plan?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

He smiled again and departed.

Damn. Jerry Bradshaw. Who would have guessed? He was the stud of my fantasies. Now, I’d get to touch instead of merely spying on him through my bedroom window.

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I stomped down to the auditorium. Eddie was standing in the hallway outside the entrance talking with Elizabeth and some of the other girls from the cast.

“Hey, Corbin.”

“We need to talk. Now,” I said, angrily.

“Okay.”

I dragged him outside and away where no one could hear.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I should kick your ass, you fucking liar.”

“Whoa! Whoa! What are you talking about?”

“You told him!”

“Told who, about what?”

“Jerry, about us.”

“What? No. I didn’t tell him anything about us. I wouldn’t do that. I promised. I wouldn’t tell even if I hadn’t promised.”

Eddie seemed so sincere. He was a smooth liar.

“I don’t believe you. I trusted you. Who else have you told? Did you tell him everything else you know about me, too? I oughta...”

I balled up my fist. I trembled with rage and betrayal, but what hurt worse is that I had feelings for Eddie.

“I swear, I didn’t tell anyone anything.”

“Well, Jerry knows about us. How else could he know if you didn’t tell him?”

“Well, I didn’t. Okay?” Eddie was getting pissed off, too. At least that’s how it appeared, but then he was a great actor.

“We’re finished. Stay the fuck away from me from now on.”

I stomped away. I knew if I remained near him, I’d get violent and I didn’t need a suspension. It wasn’t worth it.

I remained outside for a bit and attempted to calm myself. My anger began to lessen, but was too quickly replaced with sadness and a sense of loss. I think it was then that I realized how much I liked Eddie and how much I longed to be closer to him.

It’s better this way. It makes not having him easier. He’s a rat, but he still deserves someone better than you.

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I let my anger over the betrayal smolder at a low level, enough to keep the hurt away. I took a few deep breaths and walked back inside and into the auditorium. For the duration of practice, Eddie wasn’t Eddie. He was Romeo and I was Mercutio.

I left abruptly after practice ended. I heard Eddie call my name, but I ignored him. I didn’t want to have anything to do with him outside of school. I couldn’t trust him.

I faltered when I thought of the things I’d told him. What if he didn’t stop with blabbing about hooking up with me? That was bad enough and truly stupid of him. It marked him as a homosexual as much as it did me.

What if word got out I was a hustler? How much worse would that be? I feared my life was about to take a turn for the worst. It was my fault. I should never have trusted Eddie. After my brother, then Dean and then all the guys who used me, I should have known better than to trust anyone.

I hurried on in case Eddie tried to catch up to me. I was going to miss spending time with him. I knew a lot of kids at school now, but didn’t truly have any friends. I thought Eddie was my friend, but nope.

I was going to miss fooling around with him. I could get plenty of sex on Saturdays and get paid for it, but messing around with Eddie and sex with guys I didn’t want to be with were on opposite ends of the spectrum.

I smiled when I thought of Jerry. He wanted me. He likely only wanted to use me to get off, but that was what I was for. I’d learned that over the years. It had to be true because nearly everyone in my life used me. The exceptions were my mom and younger brothers and Richard, who wanted nothing more than my company. There were others who hadn’t used me, but likely only because the opportunity hadn’t presented itself.

Most guys were more than willing to use a boy like me if they got the chance.

It was better that Eddie had betrayed me. I couldn’t have what I wanted with him. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him at all, but my dick had done my thinking for me. I was stupid, so stupid.

I wasn’t meant to have a relationship. I was meant to be used by others. I didn’t let it get me down. This was my life. It could easily be much worse. It had nearly been worse. I was alive and there were good things in my life. I was going to focus on those things, as I always had. I

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refused to let myself become bitter and full of hate. The worse my life became, the more I’d hold onto those parts of it that didn’t suck.

I didn’t go straight home. I went to the park instead. I did my best to ignore the memories of Eddie that lingered there and instead let the outdoors ease my pain. I breathed in the scent of recently mown grass, roses and jasmine.

I sat on a bench and gazed at the foxglove growing in the dappled shade only feet away. I narrowed my world to the tall flower stalks with their many elongated bell-shaped blooms in lavenders, pink, yellows and whites.

I watched the bees buzzing around them, disappearing into one bloom after another. What would it be like to be one of them? To have no care beyond gathering nectar from one bloom after another? I suspected bees lived short lives, but that wasn’t such a bad thing. I would gladly trade years for happiness.

I sighed.

A part of me wished I could walk away from my life and set out on my own, doing only what I wished to do. It wasn’t practical. I knew that. I’d run out of money fast and then I’d be right back to doing what I was now. I couldn’t leave Mom and my brothers either. They needed me and being needed was one of my main reasons for living.

I must have remained in the park an hour or more. I wasn’t feeling too bad by the time I headed for home. It truly was best to end things with Eddie. In time, I might have dragged him down to my level. He should have kept his mouth shut, but he still didn’t deserve to have his life ruined by me.

My mood shifted again as I neared the house and spotted Mr.

Shakespeare’s car in our drive.

Again?

I walked into the kitchen to a sickening scene, Mom and my teacher working together to prepare supper. My mother was frying fish and Mr.

Shakespeare was slicing up potatoes.

“Hello, Sweetheart,” Mom said as I entered. “You’re late getting home, aren’t you?”

“I went to the park for a while. I needed to think.”

“Preparing for your big performance?” Mr. Shakespeare asked.

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“No, just thinking.”

“It’s good to do that sometimes.”

“Are you going to be around this evening, Corbin? Will has offered to take me to a movie.”

Please, kill me now.

“Yeah, I can watch the brats,” I said for Mikey’s benefit as he entered.

“Brats!”

“Yeah, brats. That means you.”

Mikey growled and gave me his mean face, which I’d never told him was adorable.

“Thank you so much, Corbin.”

“As long as I’m allowed to beat them if they step out of line, I’m good.”

“He’s not allowed, is he?” Mikey asked.

“No.”

“I’ll use a rubber hose so Mom will never know,” I said, but couldn’t help but grin.

“You will not!” Mikey said, then laughed.

“No, but if you give me trouble, I might try to flush you down the toilet.”

“Ha!”

Supper was great; fried fish, French fries and slaw. The presence of my teacher was somewhat creepy, but he was as good of a cook as Mom. I noticed the way they looked at each other. Mom was happier when he around. For all his faults, Mr. Shakespeare was obviously very into my mom. I could tolerate him for her sake, but that didn’t mean I liked it.

I was relieved when they departed for the movie.

“Time for the beatings to commence,” I said, cracking my knuckles and staring at Mikey.

“Save me!” he squealed as he darted behind Charles, who was sitting in his favorite living room chair reading.

“Sorry, it’s every man for himself. Try not to scream too much during the beating; makes it hard to read,” Charles said in a deadpan voice. I could see a small smile on his lips.

“I’m doomed!” Mikey said.

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“Ha. Ha. Ha,” I said, then darted toward him.

Mikey squealed and raced around the living room. I pretended to be unable to catch him, but made sure to come close. When I began to get tired, I cornered him and closed in slowly.

“Nooooo!” Mikey wailed. “This is the end! Goodbye cruel world!”

“I’ll save you!”

Suddenly, Charles was on my back, which was quite unlike him. He wrestled me to the floor, but I quickly pinned him on his back.

“Mikey to the rescue!”

Mikey tackled me and took me down. I wrestled with him and let him pin me.

“I’ll only let you up if you promise not to beat us!” he said, laughing.

I struggled, pretending that I couldn’t manage to get him off me.

“Promise!” Mikey said.

“Okay. Okay. I promise. Now, let me up!”

Mikey climbed off, then put his hands on his hips and did his best to look superior.

“Of course, I didn’t promise not to give you a wedgie,” I said and pretended to dart in his direction.

Mikey squealed and took off. I didn’t follow.

“Please tell me I was never like that,” Charles said.

“You weren’t as bad and you were definitely quieter, but you were like that.”

Charles grinned. Sometimes, he was okay.

***

My next issue of the Rome Tribune arrived and I wished it hadn’t.

There on the cover were photos of Todd and Gray, under the headline, More Bodies Discovered.

I read the article. I knew Todd and Gray were missing, but now they were dead for sure. Their nude bodies were discovered buried together.

Their wrists and feet were bound and both were gagged. The suspected cause of Todd’s death was strangulation, but Gray had been shot in the head.

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Damn. I remembered those guys. It’s not like we were close, but I knew them and they were dead, murdered, just like Fred Strachey and Frank Moody.

I chewed on my lip as unpleasant memories flashed in my mind—the pain, the sheer panic and the near certainty of death. I still sometimes awakened from the nightmares in a cold sweat. Now, my nightmares were becoming real.

You should have told someone. It’s him. You know it’s him.

“I don’t know that!” I said out loud, then gazed at my door, hoping no one had heard.

None of this was my fault. I didn’t kill those boys. It wasn’t my fault.

It wasn’t my fault. I put my head in my hands and began to cry.

Sometimes, life was too much.

***

The next few days were awkward at home and school.

Mr. Shakespeare drove Mom home from Café Moffatt nearly every evening. Most evenings he and Mom prepared supper together.

Sometimes, he ordered pizza or other takeout for Charles, Mikey and me and took Mom out to eat. He was around on weekends, too. He helped Mom cook, helped with the laundry and he began fixing things around the house. I think I saw him at home more than school. Charles began to take up with him and discuss the cerebral stuff that got him excited. Mikey went to him for help with his homework.

I slowly grew accustomed to his presence. I wasn’t entirely happy he was here, but I wasn’t going to fight it. I wanted my mom to be happy and she was happier when he was around. That was the bottom line. I would do anything for my mom, even put up with the presence of Mr.

Shakespeare. Having him around took some of pressure off of me, too. I didn’t have to feel like everything was my responsibility.

School was only tense when Eddie was around, but that was lunch, drama class, PE and play practice. I wasn’t unkind to him because apparently, he only told Jerry about us. I feared he’d blabbed to the entire school, but as the days passed and no one gave me shit, it became obvious he hadn’t. When he tried to talk to me, I ignored him, unless I couldn’t get

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away with doing so. I could see the hurt in his eyes, but he’s the one who had betrayed our secret, not me.

Sadness welled up inside me when I looked at Eddie. I was angry with him, but I didn’t like making him unhappy. The truth was, I liked him a lot, more than I thought I did. I only realized it now that we were no longer friends. That was my doing, but I obviously couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t get involved with him anyway. The fact that I liked him more than I thought meant I had to stay away from him, for his sake. He didn’t know it, but I was doing him a favor.

I departed from play practice to walk home alone yet again. The truth was that I didn’t have any real friends. The drama crowd were friends, but not the kind I could hang out with or invite over to my house. Eddie had been the only one and now he was gone.

“Hey.”

I looked up. Jerry walked toward me as the other football studs exited through the gymnasium doors. Their practice must have recently finished.

“Hey.”

“Sup?”

“Just finished play practice.”

“How is that going?”

“Not bad, but Shakespeare is tough, even modernized.”

“I bet, you’re braver than me.”

“I doubt that.”

“Listen, um. Are you free? I thought we could... hang out.”

“Yeah, I’m free.”

“Good, let’s go.”

I walked with Jerry to his van. He flashed me a grin as I slid into the passenger seat.

“You have an 8-track tape player?” I asked, amazed.

“Yeah, listen to this.”

Jerry started up his van and turned on the player. Burnin’ for You filled the interior.

“Oh man, this is sweet. I’m so jealous. You’re into Blue Oyster Cult?

I love them.”

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“Hell yeah.”

“You have everything,” I said as he pulled out of his parking space and drove across the lot.

“I do now,” he said gazing at me.

I grinned. “Yeah, you do.”

Jerry grabbed my hand and put it on his crotch. He was rock hard. I couldn’t wait, so I moved out of my seat, got down, unfastened his belt and pulled down his zipper. He lifted himself up so I could get his jeans and underwear down. I leaned over and pulled him into my mouth.

“Mmm. Yeah. I knew you’d be like this. Suck it.”

I blew him while he drove, which likely wasn’t the safest thing, but neither of us thought about that. I went at it like I was starving for it. After a few minutes, I felt him throbbing harder than ever. He moaned loudly and cut loose in my mouth.

Only when I sat up did I notice we’d stopped. We were parked out by the cemetery.

“Let’s get in the back,” Jerry said, talking off his letterman’s jacket because it was already heating up inside the van, in more ways than one.

The entire back of his van was carpeted. A mattress took up much of the space. Magazine photos of Blue Oyster Cult, Kiss and other groups were taped to the sides. This was definitely a hookup van.

“Strip.”

It sounded very much like an order and I complied. I was so excited I trembled a little. I was so worked up my dick stood out like a tent pole.

Jerry pulled off his shirt and I was treated to the sight of his incredible muscular chest and six-pack abs. I reached out to touch him, but hesitated.

“Go ahead, we both know you fantasize about my bod.”

I ran my hands all over his chest and abs, followed quickly by my lips and tongue.

“Yeah, you’re an eager one. Worship my bod.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jerry let me go at it a while, then shove me back onto the mattress. He stripped the rest of the way and grabbed a jar of Vaseline. He lubed up, then grabbed my legs and pulled them up over his shoulders.

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I cried out as he entered me and forced his way in.

“Fuck yeah!” he said. “Take it, you little bitch.”

I most definitely got used in the back of Jerry’s van. I didn’t resist, but I was pretty sure resistance would have been futile. Jerry was going to do with me what he wanted.

I’d been used hard before, but it had never been hot like this. I experienced an orgasm without touching myself, just as I had with Eli. My dick went off while Jerry was pounding me and made a mess all over my abs and chest.

“Yeah! Fuck yeah!” he said and kept on going.

Just when I was beginning to feel like I couldn’t take it anymore, Jerry began thrusting harder. He groaned and I could feel him cut loose inside me. He kept thrusting until he was empty, then kept himself inside me while he panted for breath. We were both soaked in sweat.

“You’re a good fuck, Corbin Cooper,” he said, pulling out. “Get dressed.”

Jerry threw a towel at me, grabbed another and dried himself off as best he could before dressing. In a few minutes, we were once more seated in the front.

“I’m sure I don’t have to say this, but I’m going to say it; you don’t tell anyone about this.”

“I won’t.”

“If you do, I’ll fuck you up.”

“Got it. No one will know. I don’t exactly want guys knowing about me either.”

“I don’t care if you tell your buddy Eddie. He’s my little bitch, too.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah... he told me. Shit. Did I just get him in trouble?”

“No. You guys hook up so he knows it’s cool. There is a very elite little group in the know. You’re one of us now.”

“About Eddie. We’re not buds anymore.”

“No? Why not? Eddie’s cool and I don’t have to tell you he’s hot.”

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“Because he told you about us after he promised he wouldn’t tell anyone. I don’t care that you guys hook up, too. He had no business telling anyone.”

“Whoa. Whoa. Wait. Eddie didn’t tell me he hooked up with you.”

“Then how do you know we hooked up? No one else knew except Eddie and me and I sure didn’t tell you. He told you. There is no other explanation.”

“Dude, you spy on me from your room. I’ve seen you watching while I’m working out. You’re obviously a homo. The windows work both ways, you know. I saw you and Eddie making out and getting it on. It was quite a show.”

“You saw me?” I asked, my mouth dropping open, which made Jerry laugh again.

“Yeah, you’re not as hidden as you believe. Why do you think you get such a good view of me working out and stripping? I know you spy on me and I like being watched. Eddie didn’t tell me anything. He’s a cool dude.

I witnessed it for myself.”

“Oh, shit,” I said.

“What?”

“I told him off, I mean really told him off for telling you. He said he didn’t tell you, but... Shit.”

“You, my friend, have fucked up royally. You better get on your hands and knees, beg for forgiveness, kiss his feet, kiss his ass and hope he forgives you.”

I put my head in my hands and shook my head.

“I’m such a fuck up.”

“Can’t argue with you there,” Jerry said as he started up the van and headed out.

“He’s looked so sad since I went off on him. I feel like a rat.”

“Go with that feeling. You are a rat, but I think Eddie will forgive you.

Maybe you can get back on his good side by doing anything he wants.”

“He deserves better than me.”

“You seem fine to me.”

“That’s because you don’t know me.”

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“I think you two are good together. It’s hard for guys like us to find someone special. Finding someone for sex is tough enough, but for more, that’s nearly impossible. Do not fuck up what you have with Eddie, my friend.”

“What about you? Is there anyone who is more than a hookup to you?”

“Nope, I can’t afford that. After high school, it’s on to college with a full-ride scholarship for playing football, I hope. I can’t risk anyone knowing about me. I hope to go pro. There may never be anyone special in my life. Things can be different for you, Man.”

“No, they really can’t,” I said, suddenly feeling especially miserable.

“Well, I don’t know you, but you should give it a lot of thought. Being alone sucks.”

“You’re never alone. You have all your jock friends; girls go nuts over you and boys want to be you.”

“I feel like I should pose for a statue.”

“I mean it. You never have to be alone.”

“You can be alone in a crowd, Corbin. No one truly knows me. Oh, they think they do, but they don’t. I wish I could be completely open about who and what I am. I wish I didn’t have to date girls for show. I wish I could simply be me, but that would cost me everything. If I want to play football, and especially if I want to make it a career, I can’t be me. I have to be someone else. I’ll have to get married someday and live a lie. Mind you, I want to have kids, but I can never have the life I want. You can, Corbin.”

“I wish. I wish we both could. You never know. Things may change.”

“That will never happen and we both know it.”

Jerry pulled into his drive.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Thank you,” Jerry said with a grin.

I got out and walked to my home next door.

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Chapter Twelve

“Corbin, come in here. I think you may want to see this,” Mom called from the living room where she was watching our ancient TV set, black and white, of course, because we couldn’t afford color.

“What?” I asked, hurrying from my room.

“Just watch.”

“... was shot multiple times and killed in his home yesterday by sixteen-year-old Jeffrey Parkinson of Rome, following an altercation involving Jeffrey’s younger brother and an additional thirteen-year-old. It was Parkinson who notified the police that he’d shot and killed Coven...”

I spaced out momentarily as the names hit me. Jeffrey Parkinson. I knew him very well. Coven, that was Dean’s last name.

The camera angle changed, revealing Dean’s house. Shit.

“Parkinson has told authorities he knows of at least fourteen murders committed by Coven and has agreed to lead the police to the location of the burials. Parkinson also believes there may be many more that he doesn’t know about.

“We do not yet know if there is any connection between Coven’s victims, the bodies already discovered and the currently missing boys, but authorities believe it likely.”

“Disturbing events in Texas,” said Walter Cronkite the CBS anchor.

“I’m sure we’ll follow up more on this story as additional details become available.”

I sat there stunned, but should I truly be surprised? I suspected something bad was going on, which is why I got out. I absentmindedly rubbed my wrists as Mom turned to me.

“I can’t believe it. Jeffery Parkinson. You were good friends for a while. He was such a sweet boy.”

Not as sweet as you think.

“Yeah, this is... I don’t know what this is.”

“Dean a murderer? I can’t believe that. He was so friendly whenever our paths crossed. You worked for him for a while,” Mom said.

“Um, yeah.”

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I’d almost forgotten I’d told Mom I ran errands and did odd jobs for Dean as a cover for what I was really doing.

Mom hugged me close.

“I’m so glad you’re safe. He could have...” Mom said and edged toward a major meltdown.

“I’m fine, Mom.”

I wasn’t, not truly. I’d never be fine, but I was determined my mother would never know that.

“Yes. Yes. I’m sorry, but after everything with Marc...” Mom’s voice trailed off.

I wiggled out of her grasp and patted her leg.

“I simply don’t understand this at all. Do you?” Mom asked.

“Uh, no. It’s... weird. I... um... I think I want to go for a walk.”

“You do that, Sweetheart. I know this is upsetting for you. Maybe I shouldn’t have called you in.”

“No. It’s cool. I’m glad you did.”

Mom hugged me, again. I went outside and began to walk aimlessly.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

This was worse than I’d ever imagined it could possibly be. I suspected Dean was doing something bad to boys. Okay, to be honest, I more than suspected. I didn’t know, but I’d guessed enough I did not want to be involved.

I remembered Dean’s offer. He wanted me to get boys for him and offered to pay me for it, a lot. The amount made me suspicious. Two hundred bucks if they were young and good-looking. He paid twenty to blow me. There were plenty of other boys he could get for that. All he had to do is go down to Critchlow’s Corner and pick up a hustler.

I balked. He got angry, but then he backed off and told me to think about it. If I changed my mind, the offer was still good. Two-hundred per boy.

I’d considered it. Two hundred was a lot of cash, and I needed it. The temptation was intense, but something wasn’t right. I’d done plenty of very bad things in the past, but I was working to clean up my act even then and something didn’t seem right about getting boys for Dean. Then, I finally did it...

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I opened my eyes again and took deep breaths. How did my brother fit into all this? He’s the one who took me to Dean when I was only a kid. He procured me for him. I know Dean paid him. Did Marc get boys for Dean? Did Jeffrey? I’d seen the anger in Dean’s eyes when I refused him.

I’d witnessed his anger before that. I suspected something had gone wrong between Marc and Dean, and Dean had become angry enough he killed my brother, just like he’d almost...

I trembled. I felt lost, confused and like my world was coming apart.

This couldn’t be happening.

I ended up in the park. I found a secluded bench, sat and pulled my knees up against my chest, seized by sudden anxiety and fear. I closed my eyes and trembled as I began to sob.

I had never before experienced what I did sitting on that bench, hugging my knees to me as if my life depended on it. I was lonely, terrified and panicked. I might have jumped up and bolted, but I didn’t know where to run and I was afraid to leave the bench. I sobbed and cried out like a wounded beast.

“Corbin! Corbin!”

I looked up, my eyes wild with fear. I didn’t know how long he’d been there or how long I’d been in the park, but Eddie looked down at me with a seriously concerned expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

I shook my head and began to bawl again. Eddie sat beside me. He pulled me to him and hugged me tight. I grabbed onto him and held on as if my life depended on it. I could not stop crying or shaking.

“I’m here. I’m not going to leave you. I’m here,” Eddie said.

I didn’t begin to calm for the longest time, but eventually I had no more tears left and Eddie’s arms around me began to comfort and calm me.

“I’m sorry,” I said finally.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Tell me what happened. Is your mom okay? Are your brothers okay?”

I released Eddie and he loosened his grip. I sat back, wiped my eyes and gazed at him.

“They’re okay, but...”

My hand began to tremble violently. Eddie held it in his.

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“Did someone do something to you? Is someone after you?”

“Someone did something to me, but before I came here. He can’t hurt me now. He’s dead.”

That made Eddie pause. He stared at me for several long moments before he spoke.

“Tell me about it?”

I chewed on my lip, then looked at Eddie, suddenly remembering the nasty things I’d said to him.

“Why are you here? Why do you care about me after I accused you of telling Jerry about us?”

“Because I do care about you.”

“I was wrong. Jerry told me. I’m so sorry... I...”

“Shh. Forget it.”

“Jerry saw us. That’s how he knew. He saw us in my bedroom.”

“Ah, that explains that. I wasn’t sure how he knew either.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t understand how he could know. I even began to wonder if I had let something slip.”

“You didn’t. I’m...”

“Shh,” Eddie said, placing a finger on my lips before I could apologize again. “Forget that. Tell me what has you so messed up.”

“I told you I wasn’t a nice guy. Well, some things happened in Texas. I told you about my brother pimping me out to an older guy when I was twelve.”

“Yeah, that’s so screwed up.”

“Well, things were pretty good for a long time. I’d go to Dean’s on my own. He’d give me a beer. I’d drink it. He sucked my dick and then gave me a twenty.

“The money was good. I told you I hustled back then, and still do.”

“Yeah.”

“My brother got me into that, too. He told me where boys hung out who wanted to make money doing things like that and I started doing it.”

“Did you ever see your brother there?”

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“No. I never did. I actually thought I would, but I didn’t. I think he had an arrangement with Dean. I think Dean paid Marc to get boys for him and maybe Dean set my brother up with guys who would pay him for sex, too.

“Shit. That’s messed up.”

“Yeah. Things went on like that for a long time. Then, like I told you before, Marc disappeared without warning. He didn’t say anything to me about leaving, not that he necessarily would. He didn’t take any of his stuff, not even his guitar, which he loved, or even the money he had stashed in his dresser.”

“That sounds suspicious. If he ran away, he would at least have taken his cash.”

“Exactly. Dean seemed real concerned when I told him Marc had gone missing. He even called the house looking for him. Later, he drove me around so I could put up the flyers Mom had printed, but, as you know, we never found Marc.”

“That’s rough, even if he wasn’t exactly a good brother.”

“Yeah. Things went on with Dean and me pretty much the same, except that he began paying me more cash to do me in the ass. I needed the money because with Marc gone, it was my responsibility to help out my family.”

“I get that.”

“Yeah, everything was fine, but then Dean asked me to start finding boys for him. He said he liked variety and that he’d pay me two-hundred bucks for each one I brought. He got angry when I refused, then calmed down, but after that he kept getting rougher and rougher with me. He got angry a lot, too, and kept trying to get me to find him boys.”

“Damn.”

“I needed the cash so badly and he got so angry and frightening when I refused that I finally agreed.”

“Okay.”

“I had a friend who needed cash even worse than me. He had a girlfriend and she was pregnant and they wanted to keep the kid and get married, even though they were both sixteen.”

“Damn.”

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“Yeah, his name was Trace. His parents and the girl’s decided she would keep the baby and that they could get married, but only after high school.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah, so Trace needed money bad. I had thought about introducing him to Critchlow’s Corner where boys like me went to hook up for cash, but instead I introduced him to Dean and got my two-hundred bucks.”

“So, you took over for your brother?”

“Well, no. The next time I was over at Dean’s, he told me he wanted younger boys, boys who were thirteen, twelve and even younger. He said that if I wanted the big bucks, I had to come up with young ones. That seemed really wrong to me, much worse than finding him a guy who was sixteen.”

“Yeah, that’s seriously fucked up.”

“I didn’t want any part of that, so I told Dean I wasn’t getting him any more boys. Trace was it. I was out. He got angrier than ever before. He attacked me, wrestled me down onto the floor, put cuffs on me, then tied my ankles together and dragged me into his bedroom. He... abused me.”

I began bawling again. The memories were too much. Eddie pulled me to him again and held me.

“God. It’s no wonder you’re so messed up. No one should experience that. You go ahead and cry, Corbin. You have a right. I’m here. I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”

I felt like the twelve-year-old boy that my brother had taken to Dean. I was so scared. I felt like I’d never be safe, and yet, Eddie helped me to feel safe. He patiently hugged me and petted my head as I sobbed.

I finally calmed once more, then sat back again.

“You don’t have to tell me more if you don’t want,” Eddie said.

“No. I want to tell you. I’ve never told anyone. I need to tell someone.”

Eddie nodded.

“Dean beat me and he raped me. He was so angry I thought he was going to kill me. He even wrapped a cord around my neck and began to tighten it, but then he stopped when I begged him and reminded him of all the good times we’d had. He hit me in the face, but he took the cord off.

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“He left me in his bedroom for a few hours, cuffed, bound and with my mouth taped shut with duct tape. I was afraid he was still going to kill me.

I tried to get loose, but I couldn’t.

“Then, the door opened, but it wasn’t Dean. Gray, the closest thing I had to friend among the hustlers, stared at me in shock and confusion. He said something like, “Shit, Dean. Why is Corbin naked and tied up on your bed? What have you been doing to him?” Dean rushed in, looking panicked. For a second, I thought he was going to attack Gray, too, but instead he laughed.

“We’re just doing some roleplay. Corbin is real good at it,” he said, then came over, untied my legs and took off the cuffs. He turned so that Gray couldn’t see his face while he took off the duct tape and mouthed, you talk and I’ll fucking kill you.

“Damn!”

“Yeah. He took the tape off my mouth and then acted friendly. He said,

‘I’m sorry, I was gone so long. I lost track of time, but here’s a hundred to make up for it.’ He gave me the hundred, I got dressed and got out of there as fast as I could.”

“You didn’t tell anyone?”

“I was scared to tell anyone. I was afraid he’d kill me if I did. I think he probably would have killed me if Gray hadn’t walked in and found me. I told Gray the truth when I got the chance. I warned him because I didn’t want Dean doing it to him. He acted like he didn’t believe me, but promised not to tell Dean what I’d told him. He also told me I’d better not tell anyone else because Dean could get real violent. I knew that from experience, so I told him I wouldn’t tell anyone.

“I didn’t go back to Dean’s house and I avoided him the rest of the time we lived in Texas, living in fear he’d get me. I’d see him sometimes, watching me, glaring at me, right up until the day we moved. I don’t know if he was trying to get his hands on me again or only trying to intimidate me, but I was intimidated. I was too terrified of him to talk. I think he knew it, too.”

“Oh, Corbin. I didn’t know you were dealing with all this. You may be pissed at me for saying this, but I don’t think you should keep hustling to help your family. It’s not good for you. It would be bad enough if your

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brother and this Dean guy weren’t connected to it, but it’s messing you up, Corbin.”

“I don’t like it mostly, but sometimes it’s good. I have to help. Mom can’t do it on her own. Marc is gone. Charles is too young to get a decent job and Mikey is just a kid. I don’t want to sell myself, Eddie, but I have to do it. Don’t you see? What are my other options? Deal drugs? Break into houses and cars? If I can keep us from being hungry and homeless by selling my ass, then that’s what I have to do.”

“I don’t think your mom or your brothers would want you to do what you’re doing. I think they’d rather be hungry and homeless.”

“Well, they’re not going to know. If you tell them...”

“You know I won’t do that, Corbin, but please stop. I care about you. I don’t like watching you destroy yourself.”

“Eddie, I care a lot about you too, which is why I think you shouldn’t be around me. This is my life and this is what it’s going to be for quite a while. When I’m older, I can hopefully get a real job that pays enough to take care of us all, but for now, this is my only option. I have to do what I have to do.”

Eddie took my hand.

“I have a little money saved up. It’s not a lot, but I have over $300
and...”

“No. I’m not taking your money and it would only be a temporary fix.

I’d have to go back to selling myself soon.”

“I’ll give it to you to keep you away from that even for a short time.”

“No. I’m not taking your money.”

Eddie looked at me with pity, which could have pissed me off, but didn’t. He truly cared about me.

“I do not deserve you in my life,” I said.

“Yes, you do. You’re a good person, Corbin. You’ve got caught up in something you can’t control, that’s all.”

“Which also makes me stupid.”

“No. It could happen to anyone. It probably happens more than anyone knows.”

“It’s even worse than you know,” I said.

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I told him about the missing boys back in Texas, boys that I knew. I told him about Jeffrey murdering Dean.

“Damn! I saw that on the news. That was the guy who did that to you?”

“Yes.”

“At least you don’t have to worry about him coming after you.”

“No, but I’m guilty. I might as well have killed those boys myself. I knew them, Eddie. I knew all of them and they’re dead. I took Trace to that monster and for all I know Dean murdered him, too. It’s my fault.”

“It is not your fault. You only introduced Trace to him, right?”

“Yes, and that’s bad enough. Trace was a great guy. He was so excited that he was going to be a dad, and now, he’s probably dead, thanks to me.”

“Even if he is dead, you didn’t kill him.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. You didn’t know what Dean was doing and you turned away from him when he asked you to get him young boys.”

“I knew what I was doing wasn’t right, but I needed the cash so I kept meeting him. I got Trace for him and would probably have found others for him if he hadn’t asked me to find boys who were so young. That was a step too far, but what evil had I already done by then? I told other hustlers about Dean. I might as well have taken them to him, too. I didn’t know he was killing them,” I said and fought not to cry.

“Of course, you didn’t.”

“This is all far too much.”

“You aren’t thinking of doing something stupid are you?”

“Like kill myself?”

“Yeah.”

“No. Sometimes, I wish I could, but I can’t. My family needs me and I’m not leaving them to ease my own pain. As long as they need me, I’ll keep going.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but if what you’re doing makes you want to kill yourself, then you should stop doing it.”

“It’s not selling myself that makes me want to die. It’s everything else.”

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“I don’t know how to fix any of this, but I’m here, Corbin, and I’m not going anywhere. I... I love you.”

I began crying. It was a weird reaction to his words, but that’s what I did. Eddie hugged me to him again and held me. He had no idea how badly I needed him just them, or perhaps he did. I cried for a few minutes more and near the end managed to make my voice work again.

“I love you, too, Eddie.”

I stood. Eddie and I walked through the park together, not speaking. I felt better with him by my side, but I knew it wouldn’t last. Nothing was forever. How long could he care for someone who had done such terrible things? I didn’t think anyone could take it for very long. I felt like I’d reach the point where I couldn’t, but I had no choice but to go on. Eddie was temporary, but it was sure nice to walk with him in the park as if we were two boys with no worries. If a few minutes of this was all I could have, then I’d take it.

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Chapter Thirteen

The nightly news lived up to its name by reporting more and more details about Dean Coven, who was now referred to as a mass murderer. I began watching regularly with Mom, but was disturbed by photos of guys I knew displayed on the screen. Some I didn’t know well, others I did, but there were no strangers and they were all dead. More disturbing still was the video of the excavation in the shed where bodies were said to be buried wall to wall and sometimes two and three deep. What got to me the most was the sight of a body wrapped in plastic carried out with long black hair trailing. His name wasn’t mentioned, but Billy had hair like that. I knew him better than most of the others. He worked Critchlow’s Corner with me and we’d smoked joints together. He’d gone with me to Deans...

That night, I crawled into bed feeling wicked, evil and scared. I didn’t want any of this. I didn’t want to be a part of it. Why did my brother take me to Dean? Why did he get me involved with him?

For fifty bucks. He sold you for fifty bucks.

I began to cry. I cried a lot these days.

It took me longer than usual to fall asleep and when I did, I slept fitfully. Later, as I lie awake, I watched as a shadow entered my room. At first, I wondered why Charles had come in, but as the figure grew closer, I realized it wasn’t him. The hair was too long, far too long. A horrible stench reached my nostrils as the decomposing face of Billy appeared in the shaft of moonlight cutting through the window. He snarled and lurched for me as I scrambled back. His fingers closed around my throat as his dead eyes stared into mine.

“No!”

I sat up, my heart pounding, my breath coming hard and fast. It was a dream, one more nightmare to add to the others, but different.

I trembled even as I told myself repeatedly it wasn’t real, but what if it was real in its own way? What if Billy had come to me in my dream seeking revenge?

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, Billy. I didn’t know.”

I was losing it. I was talking to someone who wasn’t there. Maybe I’d slowly go insane. Maybe it was best if I did.

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“I didn’t know.”

But, I did know. I only told Gray what Dean had done to me. I should have told the other hustlers. I should have told them all, but I was too scared. I could have warned them, but I didn’t know Dean was killing boys. I thought he was so angry with me after I refused him that he was going to kill me. I thought the danger lay with his temper. I didn’t know he got off on killing boys. I wondered what else he did to them before they died. I shuddered. I didn’t want to think about that.

I was groggy when I awakened the next morning for school. To say I had not slept well was a vast understatement. I wasn’t sure I could handle another night like last night. Maybe I should get my hands on some alcohol and drink myself into a stupor before bed tonight, but no. I had enough problems without repeating mistakes from my past.

I stumbled to the shower and climbed in. I began to wake up as I ran the soapy washcloth over my body. My dick woke up faster than the rest of me. My life was coming apart, but my dick didn’t care. All it wanted was sex. Maybe I could hook up with Jerry again soon, or maybe Eddie and I could manage some alone time. Thinking of Eddie brought a smile to my lips, but my smile soon faded.

I walked to school thinking of all the boys I knew that were now dead.

They were all around my age and now they were gone. Why hadn’t Gray listened to me? If he had, he’d probably still be alive. Was it possible he knew what Dean was doing? If so, why was he so surprised to see me tied to the bed? I had a lot of questions and few answers.

There was no escape from the nightmare that was my past. The Texas mass murderer was the talk of the school. Perhaps he was of such interest because most of the victims were our age. I didn’t want to hear about it. I wished everyone would shut up and go back to gossiping about each other.

I looked forward to lunch with Eddie and the drama crew. I needed to be with friendly faces.

I walked toward our table with my corn dog, tomato soup and mac and cheese.

“You look like crap,” Timothy said.

“I wish I felt as good as I look.”

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked.

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“I didn’t sleep last night. I’m tired.”

“You look a bit like a zombie,” Theodore said.

I cringed.

I took a bite of my corn dog, attempting to distract myself.

“Hey, ass wipe. You’re from Texas, aren’t you?”

I turned at the sound of the voice of Joe Sessay.

“Get lost creep. I’m not in the mood for your crap,” I said.

“I bet you were in on it, raping and murdering those boys. That sounds like your style.”

“Shut up, Joe!” Eddie yelled, loud enough to draw attention.

I began to stand, but a strong hand gripped my shoulder and shoved me back down.

“I’ve got this. Shut your damn mouth, Joe, or I’ll knock your teeth out,” Jerry snarled.

Joe quailed.

“I was just kidding around.”

“You were being an asshole. Leave!”

Joe obeyed.

“Thanks,” I said.

“I didn’t want you to get suspended for kicking his ass. That is what you were going to do. Right?”

“Yeah, at least I was going to try,” I said with a smile.

“Thought so. Later.”

“Later.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow and grinned slightly. I smiled for the first time that day. No, the second, and both times involved Eddie.

I lost myself as best I could in lunch with my friends. Their familiar voices, their laughter and their conversation comforted me, but also made me feel like a fake. I didn’t belong here with them. I wasn’t like them.

They were all average kids who did not yet know the evil of the world. I had met evil. I had gazed into its eyes. I’d never be okay again.

“What ’cha doing after school? Eddie asked as we walked from the cafeteria. “Meeting up with a certain jock with a killer bod and huge stick?”

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“Would you be pissed off if I was?”

“Well, I was kind of hoping that you and I could take things to the next level. Boyfriends, you know?”

“I would love that, but... you know what I did. You know what I am. I can’t do that to you.”

“Yes, I know, and I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I said quietly. “Which is why I don’t think it’s a good idea. We can be friends, and more, but, I’m not good enough for you, Eddie. There’s something seriously wrong with me. I don’t know where all this is going to end, but I don’t think it’s going to be a good end. My life is coming apart. I don’t want to take you down with me.”

“Well, I disagree, but I can’t force you to be my boyfriend. I guess I’ll take what I can get while you sort things out. Just remember that I’m your friend and I love you. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

“Thank you, Eddie. I wish I could hug you right now.”

“Soon,” he said and wiggled his eyebrows. “Catch you later.”

Eddie took off for class. I truly didn’t deserve him. I hoped that someday he could find a guy who was as wonderful as he deserved.

Classes were an escape. What had been my least favorite part of school now helped me keep my sanity. I knew it wasn’t true, but I felt like no one talked about anything except the Texas murders in the hallways between classes.

Play practice was another escape, but there, too, talk of murdered boys followed me. It wasn’t as if my castmates spoke of nothing else, but the topic came up too often before we got down to work.

I was actually getting this Shakespeare stuff down. The thing is, I didn’t think I cared for Shakespeare that much. Seriously? Who would write a story about two kids falling in love and then committing suicide?

Why couldn’t they have run off together and had great lives?

Then again, real life wasn’t like that. My own was a mess and so was my mom’s. When she met Dad, he was probably her Romeo, but instead of happily ever after she got stuck taking care of four boys on her own. Who knew what her life might have been like if she wasn’t burdened with us?

What would my life have been like if my brother hadn’t sold me to Dean?

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What would it be like if I didn’t have to worry about money? Yeah, I guess Shakespeare had it right. Life was a big bowl of suck.

I died. I gasped out my last and my lights went out permanently. On the stage that is. That bastard, Tybalt, killed me. Again. A part of me, one that grew larger day by day, wished I could really die, but I was trapped in my life. Those who were free to end themselves were the lucky ones, but most people were probably like me, too weighed down by responsibilities to be free to take the easy route out. Romeo and Juliet were lucky. They simply didn’t know it.

Eddie and I walked home together after play practice. I was glad we were back to our usual routine. I was relieved I was forgiven, although Eddie would have been better off if he hadn’t forgiven me. I knew I was selfish, but I needed him in my life.

“Well, that day sucked ass!” I said as we walked away from the school.

Eddie burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry,” he said when he could get the words out, “but the way you said that was too funny.”

His laughter made me smile. How could he do that when my life was spiraling into darkness?

“I forgive you. This time.”

“I’m truly sorry today was so bad for you.”

“It’s not so much the day as it is my life.”

“I wish I could take all your pain away.”

“I know and I love you for it, that and for other things.”

“Yeah, I know,” Eddie said and rubbed his bulge for a few moments.

“That’s not what I mean, but that too.”

“Yeah, you know you like it and you know you want it.”

“Dude, stop. You’re making me hard.”

“Good because I like you that way.”

“You want to come home with me?” I asked.

“Hell yeah!”

Mom was usually, but not always, at work when I came home from play practice. Mr. Shakespeare would no doubt show up, but not until Mom was

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there. I could count on Charles to have his face stuffed into a book. That only left Mikey.

Luckily, he was engaged with his comics when we arrived, so Eddie and I hurried to my room, then closed and locked the door.

We were all over each other instantly, our lips locked, our clothes flying in all directions, and then the true fun began. I went down on my knees first and greedily sucked and slurped. I performed my task too well and Eddie filled my mouth with his stuff far too soon. That was okay, I had plans for round two.

Eddie took his turn on his knees and I didn’t last much longer than him.

I felt world’s better after I got off, but I wanted more.

I handed Eddie the jar of Vaseline, climbed up on my bed and spread-out face down.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Do it hard.”

Eddie moaned. He was on top of me in less than a minute and soon after he was inside me. I bit my pillow to keep from crying out.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m fine. I do this a lot. Do it hard, as hard as you can.”

Eddie began thrusting, harder and harder. My ass was on fire with pain and tears filled my eyes, but I wanted to be punished for the things I’d done. I deserved to be used and I wanted Eddie to have the pleasure of it. I wanted him to punish me without knowing he was doing so. I submitted to him not because I had to or for money. I submitted to him because I loved him.

Before too long, Eddie groaned and filled me with his stuff. The sensation made me go off, too. I wasn’t so sure I had been punished. There was too much intense pleasure along with the pain.

“What are you guys doing in there?” Mikey’s voice called out from the other side of the door.

“Wrestling!” I said as we scrambled to clean up and dress.

“Lemme in! I wanna wrestle, too.”

“No, you don’t,” I said. “Trust me.”

Eddie and I giggled like stupid kids.

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“Yes, I do! Come on!”

As soon as we were presentable, I opened the door.

“Do you know what happens to annoying little brothers?” I asked.

“No, what?”

“They get tickled,” I said and went for Mikey’s ribs. He squealed and fell to the floor, laughing.

“Save me, Eddie!”

“What’s that? I thought someone spoke, but I couldn’t make out the words,” Eddie said.

“Save me!” Mikey kept squealing and laughing.

“I still can’t make it out.”

I stopped soon. A little tickling went a long way. Mikey immediately tackled me and we wrestled on the floor while Eddie watched and laughed.

“You know. You’ve annoyed me one too many times, little brother. I think it is finally time to flush you down the toilet,” I said after I’d pinned him.

“Noo!” Mikey wailed as I picked him up by the ankles.

“Grab his arms, Eddie.”

Eddie did so and we carried him into the hallway.

“Save me!”

“What’s going on? I’m trying to read,” Charles said, annoyed by the commotion, as we drew even with his room.

“They’re going to flush me down the toilet! Help!”

“Do it head first so he’ll stop squealing quicker,” Charles said with a slight smile.

“I won’t forget your treachery, Charles,” Mikey called out as we carried him toward the bedroom.

“Where did you learn that word?” I asked.

“From Charles!”

“Figures!”

“Noooo! Noooo! Someone save me!”

“What on Earth is going on?” Mom asked as she appeared in the hallway just before we reached the bathroom.

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“They’re going to flush me down the toilet!”

“What are you talking about? We told you we were helping you to the couch,” I said.

“That’s not what you said!”

“I think it was.”

“Try to keep it down.”

“Yes, Mother.”

We bypassed the bathroom and tossed Mikey on the couch. He sat up, crossed his arms and pretended to glare.

“I knew you wouldn’t do it.”

“Oh, we would have if Mom hadn’t come home,” I said.

“Ack!” Mikey said and bolted.

“I really like your little brother,” Eddie said.

“Hey, as I’ve told you before, he’s all yours any time you want him.”

“Nah, he’d miss his cool older brother too much.”

“Believe me, Charles is not cool.”

“I was talking about you.”

Eddie and I grinned at each other. He was one of the few good things in my life.

Eddie stayed for supper; home-made tacos, Spanish rice and refried beans. Mr. Shakespeare was there, naturally. He was the one who made the tacos so he was of some use. I actually enjoyed myself with Eddie there. I knew it wouldn’t last, but I’d take any tiny bit of enjoyment I could get.

We all watched Walter Cronkite reveal the latest horrors from Texas after supper, all of us except Mikey that is. Mom wouldn’t let him watch and it was probably a good call. Eddie sat beside me, which helped as more details came out. More bodies had been pulled out of the shed and Jeffrey had shown the cops where other bodies were buried.

“There are so many,” Mom said. “How could this have happened?

What if Marc...”

Mom teared up. Mr. Shakespeare put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her tight against him. Suddenly, I was glad he was there.

For the first time, Mom seemed to accept the possibility that Marc wasn’t coming home. I’d given him up for dead long ago. I was pretty sure

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I knew what had happened to him now. It definitely had something to do with Dean. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Dean had killed him. Dean turned on me fast enough when I refused him. The same had probably happened to Marc, only no one showed up to save him.

After the program ended, Eddie and I went out onto the porch and sat in the swing together. I sat looking at the trees in the front yard and the roses that had gone wild by the fence.

“What are you thinking?” Eddie asked.

“I think Dean killed Marc.”

“He did know him and was involved with him.”

“Yeah, and I wonder how involved. Dean attacked me when I refused to find him young boys. I wonder if something similar happened with Marc. Even more, I wonder how many boys my brother took to Dean before it happened. He sold me to him, so I don’t think he would’ve hesitated to sell other young boys to him. I wonder how many of those boys are dead because of my brother. I also wonder how they died and what Dean did to them before he killed them.”

“You don’t know that he did that. You may never know, but that’s Marc, not you.”

“I don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me. What I did was bad enough. I thought Dean paid boys for sex, like he did me. I didn’t know he killed them. I hooked boys up with Dean, boys who worked the corner with me. They came and went from Dean’s house, just like me. It wasn’t until after we moved here that they began disappearing.”

“You couldn’t have known, Corbin.”

“I wish I’d never met Dean. I hate my brother for taking me to him. I think Marc was way more involved in all this than I suspected before. I have a horrible feeling he knew Dean was killing boys and got them for him anyway. I’m glad Marc’s dead and that makes me feel like a horrible person.”

“You’re not a horrible person, Corbin.”

“Oh, but I am. I’m a part of all that was going on in Texas.”

“You didn’t kill anyone, Corbin. You didn’t know.”

“I was a stupid kid, a dupe who was too dumb to realize I was being used to lure boys in for Dean to rape and murder. He probably laughed at

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me every time I left, so pleased with myself that I’d earned some cash to help out at home. Even after he attacked me, I was still too stupid to figure it out.”

“Corbin, you said the boys you took to him didn’t disappear until later.

Don’t you think they would have found their way to him without you? That Jeffrey on the news. He was getting Dean boys. He said he did. He would have taken those boys to Dean if you hadn’t.”

“It still doesn’t erase what I’ve done.”

I was in a dark mood, the darkest. Eddie wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close.

“How can you bear to touch me?” I asked.

“Because I love you.”

“You shouldn’t. I’m bad all the way through.”

“That’s the thing. You’re not. You’re as much a victim as those murdered boys. Your brother got you involved. You didn’t know what was going on. You thought Dean was no different than the guys who picked boys up off the corner. Your brother used you and Dean used you. Tell me, what would you have done if you had discovered Dean was killing boys?”

“I’ve have gone to the cops and if they didn’t do anything, I would have killed him.”

“You’re not bad, Corbin. You’re a good kid who got caught up in something horrible. It’s not your fault.”

I began to cry. I couldn’t help it. Everything was simply too much.

Eddie pulled me closer and held me. He didn’t tell me not to cry.

“I love you, Corbin Cooper. I will always be here for you and you’re going to get through this.”

I didn’t see how I could, but Eddie helped me hold myself together.

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Chapter Fourteen

“You were right, Eli. He gave me a hundred bucks!” I said after my latest customer returned me to the strip.

“Would I lead you wrong? We’re buds.”

“I appreciate it. This will really help. Mom’s birthday is coming up and I want to get her something nice. Now, I can do that and pay some bills.”

A familiar car drove by. I turned my face toward the abandoned store fronts.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, probably, but I recognize that car.”

“Is he a bad one, someone I should avoid?”

“No, nothing like that.”

The car disappeared and I relaxed, but not for long. It soon appeared again and pulled up to the curb. I couldn’t be sure, but if it was who I suspected... Why was he here?

Eli walked over and talked to the driver through the window while I did my best to remain invisible. I felt stupid for staring through a window into an empty storefront, but if I was right, I did not want to be recognized. Eli returned in moments.

“He wants you.”

“Fuck.”

“Dude, don’t go if you think he’s dangerous.”

“No, like I told you. It’s nothing like that. If it’s who I think it is, I know him.”

I walked over and leaned in the window. My worse fear was realized.

Mr. Shakespeare sat behind the steering wheel.

“Get in.”

“No.”

“Get in the car, right now, or I’m telling your mother what you’re doing.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“I’m not stupid, Corbin. Get in.”

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Eli came over.

“Is there a problem, Jack?” he asked.

“No. It’s cool.”

“Now... Jack.”

“I gotta go, but don’t worry. I’ll be okay. I’m not in danger. I promise.”

Even with my assurance and a smile, Eli looked like he wasn’t sure, but he let me get in the car. Mr. Shakespeare pulled away from the curb and began driving.

“This is too messed up,” I said.

“I have to agree with you there.”

We remained silent while Mr. Shakespeare drove to the park. I felt sick. I did not want to do this, but what was I going to do? He had me.

He’d tell my mom what I was up to if I didn’t cooperate. I thought my life couldn’t get any worse, but now it had.

What made the situation even worse is that I had actually started to like him. He was good with Mom and my brothers. He was a great cook, too. I had even begun to think, but no, like always, I was too stupid to figure out what was really going on. That’s why I got used. I was too dumb to realize what was happening until it was too late.

He stopped the car, turned and looked at me.

“Are you going to pay me at least?” I asked. “I need the money.”

“What?” He looked truly confused for several moments, but then realization dawned on him. “What? No! That’s not why I picked you up!”

“It’s not, huh?”

“No. What were you doing back there, Corbin? You obviously know what that street is.”

“So do you, apparently. Pick up boys there often?”

“No! I would never do that and this isn’t about me. The chicken strip is not a big secret, Corbin. It’s generally known that boy prostitutes hang out there, so again, what were you doing there?”

“What do you think?” I asked, angrily.

“Why, Corbin? Why? You have a good home and a mother who loves you. You don’t have to...”

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“For the money! I have to help out Mom! Okay? She can’t pay the house payments and all the bills on what she makes so I help out.”

“I know that she can’t possibly know what you’re doing.”

“No, and if you tell her...” I snarled.

“Calm down. So, you’re trying to help your family out financially?”

“Yeah. I can’t get a decent job in Verona and couldn’t possibly work enough hours to help much if I did. Believe me, my other options are worse.”

“Corbin. This isn’t the answer.”

“What is then? Huh? You think I want to do this? Do you?” I shouted.

“No, and you shouldn’t have to do it.”

“That’s right, but I do. The world sucks. My life sucks. My mom works hard to take care of us. She shouldn’t have to do that. No matter how hard she works, it’s not enough... I...”

I buried my face in my hands as I began sobbing. On top of everything else, I’d turned into a crybaby. I felt Mr. Shakespeare’s hand on my shoulder. I jerked away.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

He sat there while I humiliated myself by crying. I finally stopped and looked over at him. What I saw on his face was compassion.

“How long have you been doing this?” he asked.

“I started back in Texas. Marc took me to see a guy.”

“Your brother got you started?”

“Yeah, he was doing it to help out like I do now. He got me involved when I was like twelve.”

“Oh my god, Corbin. Your brothers aren’t...”

“No! They don’t know what I do. I would never get them involved like Marc did me. He sold me to Dean. He...”

I realized what I’d said.

“Dean. Dean Coven? The guy in Texas?”

I nodded. “I think he killed Marc,” I said and began to cry again.

Mr. Shakespeare waited patiently. He didn’t try to touch me this time.

“You’ve been dealing with all this, alone?” he asked when I stopped blubbering again.

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“I talk to Eddie about it. No one else knows. Can you just take me back now? I gotta work.”

“No. You can’t do this anymore, Corbin. I can’t let you.”

“Don’t you get it? I’ve got to!”

“I’m going to help your mom, Corbin. You don’t have to do this anymore. I think you’ve noticed I care about her a lot. I will take care of her, Corbin, and you, and your brothers.”

I stared at him. I didn’t understand.

“Why would you do that? What do you get out of it?”

“Because I love her, and I love you and your brothers, too. I get plenty out of it. I get what has always been missing from my life.”

I wanted to believe him, but I’d been lied to and used so many times it was hard. Then, I thought about Eddie and the way he loved me, even though he knew I was nothing but a hustler.

“Really?” I asked, wanting to believe, but afraid to believe.

“Really.”

My lip began to tremble. This time, I reached out for Mr. Shakespeare, Will, as I began to cry. He held me as I sobbed into his chest.

When I stopped, I sat back.

“So, what happens now?” I asked, chewing on my lip, afraid, but also relieved there was an adult to help me make decisions.

“You’re going to need help to deal with all that’s happened to you, Corbin, more help than I or your family can give you.”

“I have to go to the nut house?” I asked, growing fearful.

“No. You need counseling. You need the help of a professional to help you work through the trauma you’ve experienced.”

“I don’t want Mom to know,” I said, fighting not to cry again.

“Corbin, your mom loves you, more than anything. I know you don’t want her to know, but you can’t hide this from her. She’s going to have to know.”

I shook my head. “No! She can’t ever know!”

“Corbin, listen to me. You cannot continue on the path you’re following. You also can’t simply push everything that has happened to the side. You will never be okay until you work through it.”

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“You’re going to tell her, aren’t you?”

“We’re going to tell her.”

I grew quiet. Maybe it was time to run away. I wouldn’t have to worry about Mom and my brothers because Mr.... Will would take care of them. I could run away and never have to see the look of shame on my mom’s face. But, if I did that, I’d never see her again, or Charles or Mikey or...

Eddie. I’d have to keep working street corners until I got old enough no one wanted me. Then, what would I do? I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to never see those I loved again.

“Okay,” I said, and began crying again.

Will drove me home. I hugged him when we got out of the car. I didn’t think I’d ever been so scared before.

“It’s going to be okay, Corbin. I’ll talk to your mom first.”

“Thank you,” I said into his chest.

I pulled away. We walked into the house where Charles was sitting in the living room reading. He took one look at me and put his book down.

“Where’s your mom?” Will asked.

“In the kitchen.”

“You go on to your room. I’ll go talk to your mother.”

I nodded and fought to keep from crying yet again, but I was barely holding myself together. I was so scared.

I walked to my room, lay down on my bed, curled up into a ball and began to cry, yet again. Soon, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I flinched, but then I made out Charles through my watery eyes. He climbed into bed with me and hugged me. Soon, Mikey was there, too, holding me as I bawled like a baby.

I held onto my brothers. I cried for the longest time, but finally stopped. Even then, I still held onto them. I was so scared, but even so, I knew this was better than running away.

“What’s wrong, Corbin?” Charles asked, at last.

I disentangled myself and sat up with my back against the headboard.

Mikey snuggled in next to me. Charles stayed close.

“I’ve been doing some bad things, things I didn’t want to do.”

“Then why did you do them?” Mikey asked.

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“It’s complicated.”

“So, are you in real big trouble?” Charles asked.

“Probably.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine. Listen, you’re going to learn some things about me that... well... I just hope you guys will still love me. I love you.”

“We will!” Mikey said.

“Yeah, we will,” Charles said, taking my hand.

My brothers remained with me. Mikey was always sweet. Charles was... Charles, but he was here for me now. I often found him annoying and sometimes wanted to smack him, but the truth was I loved him.

Will knocked on the doorframe a bit later.

“Come on into the kitchen, Corbin,” he said.

I swallowed, then nodded and stood. My brothers released me reluctantly.

“Is Corbin going to be okay?” Mikey asked.

“Yes, he is. Everything is going to be okay now. You two go do your thing while your mom and I talk to Corbin and get things straightened out.”

I never dreaded anything as much as those few steps to the kitchen.

Would Mom even look at me? Would she tell me to get out and never come back? Would she tell me she was ashamed of me? Would she look at me with disgust?

I stopped before we reached the kitchen.

“I can’t do this,” I said, looking up at Will.

“Yes, you can. It’s going to be okay.”

I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. Mom sat at the kitchen table. She’d obviously been crying. She looked up when I entered and began crying once more, which made me cry. She stood and hurried toward me. I flinched, but instead of hitting me, she hugged me against her.

“I’m so sorry, Corbin! I love you so much! I never wanted something like this to happen to you!”

She hugged me tight, like she’d never let me go. I hugged her back and felt, for the first time, like everything might be okay.

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“Let’s all have a seat,” Will said after my mom had hugged me for the longest time.

Mom and I wiped our eyes and sat at the kitchen table.

“Will told me how you’ve been trying to help. Sweetheart, that’s absolutely wonderful of you, but that’s not your responsibility. It’s something you shouldn’t worry about.”

“I have to, Mom. You work so hard and still, it’s not enough.”

“That’s something you have to let me worry about. That’s my responsibility, not yours. I have to ask you something, Corbin. Did Marc get you started...”

So, Will hadn’t told her everything. Mom was having a very hard time even saying the words.

“Yes. He took me to see Dean. He showed me how I could make money by being with older guys.”

Mom began crying again. I felt so ashamed. I began to wish Dean had killed me.

Will took Mom’s hand and held it. I was very glad he was here.

“Marc did that, too?” Mom said. It was more a statement than a question.

“Yes. He did. I think mostly he found boys for Dean.”

Mom looked like I’d struck her.

“How did he get caught up in something so terrible?” Mom asked no one in particular.

“Dean Coven was a master at manipulation,” Will said. “He fooled adults. I’m sure he had no trouble fooling kids.”

“Marc did it to help out with the bills,” I said. “I took over for him after he disappeared.”

“You could have been killed by that monster,” Mom said. “What if...”

“I think that may be what happened to Marc,” I said.

I then told them about Dean wanting me to find him young boys, how I refused and how he almost killed me. I left out plenty to spare Mom as much pain as possible and to spare myself as much humiliation and shame as possible, but otherwise I told the truth.

“Where did I go wrong?” Mom asked.

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“You didn’t. You’ve been the best mom ever. It’s not your fault that Dad left us all and stuck you with four boys to raise.”

“He didn’t stick me with you. I love you all.”

“You know what I mean. He left you and us with nothing.”

I shifted my gaze to my lap. I couldn’t look my mom in the eyes. What must she think of me? I never wanted her to know about any of this.

“Corbin, look at me.”

I did so reluctantly.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are the victim here. Your brother got you involved in something he shouldn’t have been involved in himself. I know you did what you did to help.”

“I did,” I said quietly.

“I want you to promise me right now that you will never... hustle to earn money again.”

“I promise,” I said.

I felt a huge sense of relief, more than I thought possible. I never again had to let guys use me. I’d been brave about it all and thought I was tough, but the truth was I’d been a very frightened little boy the entire time. I never knew when someone might hurt me, or worse. I began to cry, yet again. Why couldn’t I keep myself from crying?

“I’m so sorry all this happened to you. We’re going to get you help, Corbin,” Mom said.

“Don’t send me away,” I said. “I don’t want to go to one of those places.”

“I would never do that,” Mom said. “You belong here, with your family, with the family you’ve sacrificed so much to help.”

“We can’t afford it,” I said. “I can manage.”

“No, you can’t.” It was Will who spoke this time. “You have experienced traumatic events. You can’t deal with that on your own. One of the counselors at school is a highly trained professional. Before coming to Verona, she worked in Chicago, helping children who were abused in ways similar to the way you’ve been abused. I called her while you were in your bedroom. She’s going to work with you and not charge for doing so.”

“You need to accept help, Corbin. Please. For me,” Mom said.

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I nodded. My lip trembled, but I kept from crying this time.

Mom stood again. I ran to her and hugged her, then reached out for Will. He hugged us both. I felt like, maybe, at last, my nightmare was over.

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Chapter Fifteen

“Hey.”

I smiled when I looked up and spotted Eddie.

“How was your session today?”

“Good. How was play practice?”

“Good, but not nearly as fun without you.”

I nodded as we began walking away from the school. I’d given up the role of Mercutio so I could go to my counseling sessions after school.

“Is it helping?”

“Yeah, it’s actually helping a lot. Ms. Renaud told me that my situation isn’t at all unique. There’s a lot of kids out there who end up doing what I did. Most are homeless, but by no means all.”

“How about what Dean did to you?”

“She said it will take time to work through that,” I said, wrapping my hands around my body. Even talking about it was uncomfortable.

“Great.”

“I, um, also told her I’m gay.”

“What did she say about that?”

“She said I was wrong, not about being gay, but about why I’m gay. I thought the things my brother and Dean did to me made me gay. She said it doesn’t work like that. I’d be gay if none of that had happened. That helps a lot. I felt like I’m the way I am because it was something that was done to me. Now, I know it’s how I’m supposed to be. That’s a big deal, at least to me.”

“I could have told you that. I am most certainly exactly as I’m meant to be,” Eddie said.

“Sexy and gorgeous?”

“Gay,” he said playfully shoving me.

“Thanks for sticking with me through all this.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You think I’m going to let go of the world’s hottest boyfriend? If you were standing on that balcony instead of that stupid Juliet, I’d climb straight up the wall to get at you.”

“Boyfriend? Eddie...”

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“Shut it. I love you and you love me. We’re boyfriends whether you like it or not. Well, no. I don’t mean that, but I know you want to be my boyfriend as badly as I want to be yours. I hope you’re figuring out you’re not the bad kid you thought you were.”

“Eddie, I’ve done...”

“I know what you’ve done. You told me. I know you’re a good person, Corbin. I’m just waiting for you to realize that.”

I grinned. “Are you okay with us not doing anything physical together while I work things out?”

“Of course, I am. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to rip all of your clothes off right now, but there’s way more I like about you than your body.

I’m happy merely being with you, Corbin.”

“Thanks. I’m sorry I’m so screwed up. Ms. Renaud says it’s best for me to step back from sex completely for a while so I can adjust. I don’t quite get it, but I think she knows what she’s doing. I can tell she truly cares.”

“I am prepared to wait forever if need be.”

“Well, I’m not! I’ve started having wet dreams.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, about you.”

“Good. I’m glad I’m getting some even if it is only in your dreams.”

“Oh, I can’t even tell you the things we do together in my dreams without driving you insane.”

Eddie grinned at me.

“You really want to be my boyfriend?” I asked.

“How many times do I have to tell you! Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!”

“You know, you’ve become rather dramatic since you’ve taken on the role of Romeo.”

“Yes, and I’m prepared to do that balcony scene right now if it will get you to agree to date me.

“But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east and Corbin is the sun!”

“Eddie...”

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“He speaks.

O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art

As glorious to this night, being o’er my head, As a winged messenger or heaven.”

“Okay! Okay! I’ll be your boyfriend, if only to stop you reciting Shakespeare to me.”

“Finally! Success!”

Eddie grinned at me. Despite everything, I was suddenly filled with happiness. We walked on for some time without speaking until I finally broke the silence.

“I hate missing out on the play, but my sessions are more important.

My mom is really worried about me. I have to get okay for her.”

“It’s far more important. You have to get okay for you, too.”

“And, for you. I’m starting to feel like just a kid now. Before, I felt like I had to be an adult when I wasn’t one yet.”

“I was worried about you.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing to be sorry about.”

“Will is helping mom out with everything. They’re really into each other.”

“Well, as uncool as it is to have your mom involved with a teacher, I’m happy for her.”

I laughed.

“He asked Mom to marry him.”

“What? Really? What did she say?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t tell me? This is huge!”

“I told you just now.”

“I suppose I can forgive you. How do you feel about that?”

“A few weeks ago, I might have tossed myself off the highest building in Verona. Now, I’m glad. He’s really good to Mom. He makes her happy and... I’ve never really had a dad before. Ah, dammit.”

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Here came the tears. Ms. Renaud said I should cry whenever I felt like it without fighting it, but I was tired of crying.

“I bet he’ll be a great dad. Sure, he’s a little uncool, I mean, he is a teacher, but it’s obvious he likes kids.”

“Mikey loves him. He even manages to get Charles to act like less of a freak.”

“That’s some accomplishment.”

“Yeah, and he’s good to me. He offered to adopt all of us when he marries Mom. I already said, ‘yes’ and so did my brothers.”

“So, how do you feel about that?”

“That’s what Ms. Renaud asked. I’m good with it. I want Mom to be happy.”

“Awesome.”

“I’m still pretty messed up, you know. It’s not too late to find yourself a boyfriend who isn’t broken.”

“I love you as you are.”

“I’m trying hard to believe I’m worth loving.”

“I certainly think you are. I’m not sticking around solely for your hot bod. If that’s all I wanted, I’d go see Jerry.”

“He is rather... wow, isn’t he?”

“Yes, and we both know it well, don’t we?”

I wiggled my eyebrows.

“Um, I think you should know, Ms. Renaud said that what happened to me will stick with me the rest of my life. She says I’ll be able to deal with it better and better, but it will always be there. It will always be a part of me. I want you to know that this will never quite go away.”

“I knew that already.”

“You did?”

“Well, yeah. All of us have a past. We have good experiences and bad. Most of us don’t have experiences as horrible as yours, but everyone is at least a little bit broken, Corbin. Everyone has problems. Everyone has their own pain.”

“That makes sense. I guess I never thought about it much.”

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“Yeah, so the next time you think about yourself as messed up, remember that we all are. I’m not trying to downplay what happened to you. I know what you experienced was far worse than what most go through, but you’re not alone, Corbin.”

“I get it,” I said.

Eddie walked me home. When we arrived, we discovered Mom, home early, crying on the couch. Will was with her.

“What’s wrong? Are Charles and Mikey okay?” I asked.

Will gave me a sad nod.

“Your mom received word about your brother from the authorities in Rome.”

“He’s dead, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he was found buried in a wooded area not far out of town, along with three younger boys. He was identified through dental records.”

“At least I know now,” Mom said and sniffled.

It was certain now. I’d all but known, but now there was no doubt, no more wondering. A part of me was glad he was dead, but another part missed the brother he had once been, before he began to change.

I sat close beside Mom, on the opposite side of Will and hugged her.

“I should go. I’ll see you later,” Eddie said.

“No, please stay. You are always welcome here, Eddie,” Mom said.

I nodded.

I chewed on my lip. A little voice in my head warned me not to do it, but something told me now was the right time.

“Eddie is my boyfriend,” I blurted out.

Eddie’s eyes widened in shock. I hoped he wasn’t pissed at me.

“What?” Mom asked, quietly.

“I’m gay, Mom, and Eddie is my boyfriend. I love him. Before you start thinking it, what happened to me has nothing to do with it. It’s one of the things I’ve talked to Ms. Renaud about. I thought what Dean did to me made me gay, but she said that’s not how it works. She said I’d be the same if I’d never met him.”

“Corbin is right about that,” Will said, gazing at my mom.

Mom sighed and looked down, but said nothing. I watched her.

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“Mom, say something.”

“I’m sure this is a shock, but Corbin is here. He’s safe and he’s getting better. Eddie is a big part of that,” Will said.

“Did you know?” Mom asked, turning to look at him.

“No. Guessed he might be, yes, but I didn’t know. It changes nothing as far as I’m concerned. Corbin is the same sweet, wonderful boy he was a minute ago. When we’re married and I’ve adopted him, I’ll be very proud to call him my son.”

Dammit. I was getting close to crying again. Sweet and wonderful?

He actually believed it. I knew it was okay to cry, but I fought it off anyway. Enough tears, already!

“Mom?” I said. “Mom, tell me you still love me.”

Mom looked up at me with watery eyes, then smiled.

“Of course, I still love you. It’s a lot to take in.”

“Maybe this wasn’t the best time to tell you, but I suddenly felt like I had to do it.”

“I’m glad you told me, Corbin,” she said, taking my hand. “I love you so much, and Eddie, I’m very glad that Corbin found someone so wonderful to love.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Cooper.”

“Oh, you call me Joyce. You’re practically family.”

Eddie grinned.

“This has been quite a day,” Mom said. “It is a relief to finally know about Marc. I’m sure you thought I was foolish for continuing to believe he might return, but I needed to hold onto that. Not knowing is a horrible thing.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said.

“At least no one can hurt him now.”

I nodded.

It was a sad supper for all us. What do you do the day you discover that your son or brother was murdered? I had assumed he was dead for quite a long time, but actually knowing was different. It was a relief to know for sure, partly because I was afraid Marc might come back and do something

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to me. I’d always have mixed feelings about my older brother. I was both sorry and glad he was dead.

Supper itself was excellent. Mikey had chosen the menu, which consisted of fish sticks and tater tots, two of his favorites, along with baked beans and biscuits. I suppose it was a somewhat odd supper, but it was also delicious. We had chocolate cake that mom had made the day before for dessert.

Eddie and I went to my room after supper and plopped on my bed.

“Are you mad?” I asked.

“About announcing you’re gay and that I’m your boyfriend? Actually, no, although some warning would have been nice and you do know that no one else can know, right?”

“I’m not an idiot.”

“Eh.”

“Funny,” I said, shouldering him. “I would have told you, but I didn’t know I was going to do that until I did it.”

“Why did you?”

“I’m tired of having so many secrets. I’m tired of not knowing what others will think of me if they know the truth. Letting go of the secrets is a relief.”

“You still won’t know what anyone at school would think if they knew about us, except for Jerry, that is.”

“Yeah, since he’s plowed us both.”

Eddie giggled.

“I know, but those who mean the most to me know.”

“You haven’t told your brothers yet.”

“I will when the time is right, which will be soon. Charles has probably already figured it out. He’s smart.”

“You know, word will get out that your brother was one of Dean’s victims. You know it’s going to be on the news. They report every little detail.”

“I hadn’t thought about that. Damn. Everyone will be bugging me about it. I bet Joe Sessay will have some nasty things to say.”

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“If he does, I’ll punch him in the face, then we’ll get Jerry to beat him up.”

“Who knew someone as pretty as you could get so violent?”

“Anyone who gives my boyfriend trouble should live in fear.”

“I guess I still have plenty of bad times ahead,” I said.

“Yeah, but I’ll be by your side. The rest of the drama crowd will be there for you, too. We’ll sick Elizabeth on them. All the boys want her, so she can control them with a look.”

“Yeah. I have some unpleasant times ahead, but you know, compared with the stuff that happened in Texas, it’s all nothing.”

“That’s my brave boyfriend,” Eddie said, turning to give me a quick kiss.

“Uh... sorry.”

Eddie and I snapped our heads around. Charles stood in the doorway.

He turned to leave.

“Charles, wait,” I said.

He came back and looked at us sitting close together on my bed with our backs to the headboard.

“I have something I want to tell you.”

“It’s okay, Corbin. I already know. I figured it out ages ago. It’s cool.

Sorry I interrupted.”

“You’re really okay with it?” I asked.

“Homosexuality is a natural and necessary part of all animal species.

Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

“Thanks, Charles.”

“No problem. You don’t completely suck as a brother.”

“Thanks, jerk.”

“You’re welcome, dumb ass,” Charles said as he departed.

Eddie laughed.

“One down,” he said. “What do you think Mikey will think?”

“He’ll be cool with it. He’s... Mikey.”

“I think that about sums it up.”

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Eddie got up, walked over to the door and closed it. He beckoned me toward him with his finger. I went to him. He wrapped his arms around me and we began to make out. I figured it was allowed. It wasn’t sex.

We had barely started when there was knock on the door. We pulled apart, wiped our mouths and I opened the door.

“Keep the door open when you’re in here with Eddie,” Mom said.

“Mom...”

“Don’t mom me. Those are the rules.”

“Okay.”

“I should probably get going. I have homework and I need to work on my lines a bit,” Eddie said.

I nodded.

“See you at school tomorrow.”

Mom departed and Eddie and I kissed briefly again. I walked him to the front door then returned to my room.

I had been a hustler. I’d had loads of sex for money, but my mom wanted me to keep my door open when my boyfriend was here. I smiled. I liked it. Mom’s rule made me feel like a normal boy.

***

“Dude, is that Marc Cooper any relation of yours?”

The questions began even before I made it into VHS. Thankfully, Eddie had shown up to walk me to school.

“Yeah, he was my brother.”

“Dude, I’m sorry. You okay?”

“Yeah.”

Daniel patted me on the back and departed. I think it was the first time he’d spoken to me since I stopped sitting with the jocks.

“You could have lied,” Eddie said.

“I briefly considered it, but the truth will come out anyway and I’m tired of lying.”

Word could not have spread faster if Daniel had gone in and announced it on the loudspeaker. We no more than stepped inside when Elizabeth grabbed me and hugged me.

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“I’m so sorry,” she said when she released me. She actually had tears in her eyes.

“Thanks,” I said.

She hugged me again a second time, then sniffed and departed.

Mostly, kids stared at me as I passed. Well, mostly kids ignored me because not everyone knew me or my connection to Marc, but I felt like everyone stared at me.

Kids passed and said things like, ‘Sorry, dude’, ‘Sorry about your brother’ and ‘I hope you’re okay.’ A lot of them were the jocks who didn’t care much for me when I switched over to drama.

“Did you know that mass murderer who killed your brother?” Ricky, one of the football players asked as I closed my locker.

“Not cool, man,” Eddie said, getting between us.

“Sorry.”

I nodded and Eddie and I made our escape. Whispered conversations followed us. Eddie stayed by my side until I reached my first class.

“Want me to meet you here after first period so I can walk you to your next class?” he asked.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’m a big boy.”

Eddie leaned in close to my ear. “Don’t I know it.”

I laughed. He grinned and departed.

It was a weird day, but I was accustomed to weird days. One of the weirdest things happened after third period. Joe Sessay spotted me and headed right for me. Eddie wasn’t around, but I was fully capable of punching him in the face myself.

“I’m real sorry about your brother, Man. That must really suck.”

I had expected him to say something nasty. His compassion so took me by surprise I couldn’t answer for a moment.

“Yeah, it does. Thanks,” I finally managed.

“Listen, I know I’ve been a dick and I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know you were going through rough shit. You seem like a pretty cool guy.

I’ll try not to be such an asshole in the future, although that will be difficult for me.”

I raised an eyebrow, but resisted the urge to comment.

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“Anyway, I’m sorry about your brother.”

“Thanks, Joe.”

He nodded and moved on. Eddie appeared moments later.

“I spotted Joe with you. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. He was nice.”

“No way! Joe Sessay was nice?”

“Yeah, he said he was sorry about Marc, twice, and apologized for being a dick.”

“I never thought we’d have a miracle at VHS.”

We laughed.

“See you at lunch!” Eddie called out as he headed for his next class.

The rest of my morning was equally weird. It was as if I was a traffic accident that everyone slowed to gawk at as they passed. What surprised me was the kindness of guys who hadn’t been all that nice before. None were as shocking as Joe Sessay, but their reaction to my brother’s death wasn’t what I suspected.

No one in Verona knew Marc. I wondered how they pictured him. The photo of Marc that appeared on the evening news was a school picture of him wearing his letterman’s jacket. My classmates likely thought of him as a handsome, popular jock. He had been that once, but few knew his dark side. My friends and classmates only glimpsed a part of the picture.

Lunch was the highlight of my school day, which was pretty much always true, except for play practice back when I was still in the play. I arrived at my table with cheese ravioli, garlic toast, applesauce and vanilla cake.

“If you don’t mind, I don’t want to talk about my brother. Let’s have lunch like we always do and forget it,” I said as I sat down.

“Oh, so you mean, like, make fun of you behind your back?” Billy asked.

“Exactly, and put some effort into your insults in case I overhear them.

Don’t be lazy.”

“You’re a little bit weird,” Theodore said.

“I am not! I’m a lot weird and don’t you forget it!” I said.

The guys laughed. Eddie smiled at me.

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Our table was an island of normality in an ocean of weird. Kids gazed at me as they passed, slowing to take in the freak show that was my life. I ignored them as best I could, but politely acknowledged condolences.

“Wow, I see why you want to escape from the topic we aren’t talking about. That must be annoying,” Timothy said.

“Yeah, they mean well but I wish everyone would leave me alone.”

“We’ll be happy to ignore you,” Theodore said. “Did anyone see Corbin today? Did he come to school? I haven’t seen him.”

“Ha. Ha.”

“I thought I heard something, but I guess not,” Theodore said.

I stuck out my tongue at him, but laughed.

The other good part of the day was drama class. I was not in the play anymore, but I helped those who were learning their parts, mostly Theodore, who took over the role of Mercutio when I had to bow out.

I headed for Ms. Renaud’s office after school. I would much rather have walked to the auditorium to be with my friends, but our sessions helped. I had a lot to work through and I felt like I could tell her anything.

Eddie wasn’t waiting on me when my session was over, so I walked to the auditorium. Practice was still going, so I slipped in and watched. Eddie was on the stage as Romeo, discovering Juliet, who he believes is dead.

Dang. My boyfriend was a wonderful actor. Shakespeare’s words came from his lips as if they were his own. He was so handsome; he was the perfect choice for Romeo. I almost could not believe he loved me.

I watched him drink the poison and die, experiencing grief as he did so, as if it was actually happening. I quickly reminded myself that this death was not real. When the scene ended, he would stir, stand and walk away, but what would happen if he did die and leave me? Eddie was young, but that was no guarantee of life. How many of my young friends were now dead and buried? Too many, far too many and my own brother was among them. Any of us could die at any moment.

I pushed the morbid thoughts from my mind. Life could be short and that was all the more reason to enjoy what I had in this moment. I gazed at Eddie, full-length upon his back on the stage. The lights caught his blond hair, making it shine like gold and highlighted his beautiful face.

Tomorrow might tear us apart, but for now he was mine.

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When practiced ended, I stood as the cast walked up the aisle to depart.

“Not bad, but I can only give you four stars out of five,” I said.

“Now, he’s a drama critic,” Elizabeth said.

“You were perfect, of course, Elizabeth, I was speaking of the rest of this lot.”

“Well, that’s okay then.”

“Actually, I thought you were all amazingly wonderful, except for forgetting a few lines.”

I stepped in beside Eddie and we walked out together.

“How much did you see?” he asked.

“I came in just a bit before you drank poison. You were superb.”

“Do you mean that, or are you only saying that because...” Eddie leaned in and whispered about sexual acts.

“I mean it, but it never hurts to sleep with the reviewer,” I said quietly.

Soon, we were away from the others and headed toward home.

“Coming home with me?” I asked.

“I can’t. Elizabeth is coming over so we can work on a couple of scenes.”

“Oh? Should I be jealous?”

“What do you think?”

“Well, she is prettier than me.”

“No, she is not, although I do like the idea of you being jealous.”

“I’ll be jealous just for you then.”

“How was today’s session?”

“Helpful, but I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Understood.”

“I can’t wait to see the performance. I’m coming to them all, if for no other reason than to see you in tights,” I said.

“About that! We tried on our costumes. From the waist down, it’s like I’m naked. If anyone is close enough, they can make out the head of my dick and the tights go right into my ass crack.”

“Now I can’t wait to see. I’m taking photos. Think you can sneak them out sometime for a private showing?”

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“Maybe.”

“Damn, I’m horny now.”

“You always are. It’s one of the many things I love about you.”

“I’m gonna stroke later thinking about you in those tights.”

“I’ll stroke thinking about you thinking about me.”

We laughed.

Eddie walked so close our shoulders touched. The contact did nothing to lessen my horniness, but it comforted me. I was thankful I had in him my life.

Eddie and I parted when we reached his street. Walking on without him was lonely, but I could still feel the connection between us. That would have to do until I could see him again. Why did it sometimes seem as if tomorrow was so very far away?

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Chapter Sixteen

“Thanks for driving me. I hope he’s there,” I said as I sat in the passenger seat of Will’s car.

“I’m glad you had a friend to look out for you,” Will said.

“Yeah, like the day you came. He wasn’t going to let you take me until I told him it was okay.”

“I wish I could do something to help him.”

“Eli will be okay. He’s only hustling to save money for college. He doesn’t get into drugs or anything like some hustlers do.”

Like I had done.

You left that behind long ago.

“He could apply for scholarships.”

“He’s going to do that. Get out of teacher mode for a while, Will.”

“Sorry, force of habit.”

We entered Plymouth and Will headed for the chicken strip. There were two boys I recognized and one I didn’t. None of them were Elliot.

“Do you see him?”

“No. Maybe he’s with a... customer,” I said. “Could we come back a little later. Maybe we can get something to eat.”

“I am starving. I didn’t have much breakfast.”

“I know a place with the best food.”

I gave Will directions and soon we pulled up near Shirley’s Café.

I wondered about the wisdom of bringing Will here as we entered.

What if some of the waitresses thought Will had hired me? None of them were likely to recognize Will, so hopefully I was worrying for nothing.

I spotted a hunched over figure I thought I recognized, but he was facing away from me.

“Just a sec,” I told Will and walked over.

“Elliott?”

He looked up and smiled at me, but his eyes were red, as if he had recently been crying.

“Where have you been, Man? I was worried about you.”

I motioned Will over.

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“That’s a long story, but I’m fine. I’d like to you meet Will.”

Elliott looked up.

“This is the guy who picked you up the last time I saw you, right?”

“Not exactly. He’s my mom’s boyfriend and my teacher.”

Elliott’s browse furrowed and a disgusted look marred his handsome features.

“That’s fucked up.”

“No. It’s not like that. Can we join you?” I asked.

“Sure.”

We slid into the booth. Elliott eyed Will suspiciously.

“Will didn’t pick me up to hire me. He was worried about me and none too happy finding me on the chicken strip. He gave me a lecture and made me promise I’d stop hustling.”

“Okay,” Elliott said, but obviously he still didn’t understand.

“We talked. I told him why I was hustling, and, long story short, if it’s not too late, Will is going to help my mom with the bills and stuff. He does a lot for her.”

I smiled at Will and Elliott didn’t fail to notice.

“Oh, well that’s okay then. Nice to meet you, Will.”

“It’s very nice to meet you. Corbin tells me you looked out for him.”

“All the boys look out for each other, but Corbin and I are friends.”

“Yeah,” I said.

One of the waitresses I recognized came over and took our orders. Will ordered the fried chicken after I recommended it. Elliott, who hadn’t ordered yet, chose fried fish. I had the chicken, naturally.

“I guess you won’t be working the chicken strip anymore then?” Elliott said.

“No. That’s why we came to Plymouth, so I could say goodbye.”

“I stopped working the strip, too.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t have to now. I’ll have plenty of money for college.”

“That’s great! It will also rescue you from Will talking to you about financial aid and scholarships,” I said with a grin, but Elliott looked like he

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might cry.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Richard died.”

“Oh. I liked him. He was such a great guy. I told you about him, Will.”

Will nodded. I suddenly felt deeply sad myself. Richard was a wonderful person. I liked him a whole lot.

“I was with him when he died.”

“Seriously? Did he die... here?” I asked.

“He died at home. I did a lot of work for him, which I think I told you about. He started getting tired more easily recently. About the only time he got out was to stop by the strip and pick up a dinner companion. I did all his grocery shopping for him, ran errands and took care of the yard and house. He was like a grandfather to me, you know? He gave me so much good advice. Anyway, he went downhill fast soon after you left the last time. I was in his kitchen, fixing him supper, while he sat in his recliner in the living room. We were talking back and forth about daffodil bulbs he wanted to plant in the fall for next spring. I asked if he’d like some of the salmon-colored ones, like my mom grew, but he didn’t answer. I went in to check on him and he was leaning back in his chair, dead. At first, I thought he’d only fallen asleep because he did that a lot, but...”

Elliott began to cry. Will let me out so I could move to his side of the booth and hug him. It took a bit for Elliott to get himself back under control.

“It’s very nice that you were with him,” Will said. “He didn’t have to die alone.”

“Yeah, I was glad I was there. He was a lonely old guy. He’d outlived his friends and family. He only had us boys. His funeral is this Saturday.

Hey, could you be a pall bearer? I’ve got some of the boys lined up, but we could use you.”

I looked at Will. He nodded.

“Sure,” I said.

“Thanks, Corbin.”

“Two days after he died, a lawyer showed up at our house looking for me. Richard left me everything.”

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“Wow,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s not a huge amount, but it will pay for college, for me and my brother.”

“What did your grandmother think of that?” I asked.

“She knew I did odd jobs for him. I had spent more and more time at Richard’s when he began going downhill. She was surprised he named me his heir, but then so was I.”

“That was so nice of him and so like him,” I said.

“Yeah, so I don’t have to work the strip anymore.”

“That’s great,” I said.

Our food arrived. We mostly talked about Richard. I didn’t mention the recent messed up events of my life. Elliott had enough to deal with.

While I missed Richard and was sorry he had died, Elliott was obviously much closer to him.

Will tried to pay for Elliott’s lunch, but he wouldn’t let him. Elliott and I hugged and exchanged phone numbers just before we departed.

“I’m so glad I came. Thank you,” I told Will as he and I walked to the car.

“You’re welcome.”

That Saturday, Will drove me back to Plymouth and even sat through the boring, but mercifully short funeral. There were about a dozen boys near my age present. I recognized most of them from the strip. Also present were Shirley and some of the waitresses from her café. There were only a few older people I didn’t recognize, whom Elliott later told me were Richard’s neighbors.

Eight of us carried the shiny bronze casket out to the hearse. I was right across from Elliott. It was weird to think that Richard was inside. I’d gazed at him before they closed the casket. He didn’t look quite like himself. He looked younger, but still had a kind face. I was thankful for the time I had spent with him.

At the cemetery, we watched as Richard’s casket was lowered into his grave and then we each dropped a handful of earth onto his casket. I wondered what Richard would have thought if he knew so many of his boys were at his burial. I think he would have been pleased.

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After the burial, we all went to Shirley’s and ate together at a long table Shirley had put together for us from smaller tables. I introduced Will as my mom’s boyfriend and my future dad so none of the boys would get any wrong ideas about our relationship. Will sat and listened in silence as we exchanged stories about Richard. He was sure a good guy to do that.

Soon, it was time to say, ‘goodbye’, but Elliott and I had each other’s numbers so we could stay in touch.

“Well, what did you think of hanging out with a table full of hustlers?” I asked Will when we were back in the car and headed for Verona.

“They aren’t hustlers to me. They are boys who are trying to get by.”

“I don’t know why most of them do it, but I’m sure they all have their reasons. You did a very good job not giving a lecture,” I said with a grin.

“I do wish I could help them, but today was about a man who was special to you and obviously cared about all of you. I think he was lucky to have you in his life, and I think you were lucky to have him. I wish I could have met him.”

I smiled. Will understood.

***

I spotted a most peculiar sight as I turned onto our street; Charles sitting on the edge of a low wall reading. My brother was an indoor sort of boy.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked.

Charles jumped up and closed his book without even bothering to mark his place, which was so not like Charles. He grabbed my arm and pulled me around the corner.

“Are you having some kind of fit?” I asked.

“There are reporters on our front lawn.”

“What?”

“There’s only a couple, but they want to talk to you. Will told them to clear off, but they’re still out there. Come on, let’s go the back way.”

“Why do they want to talk to me?” I asked as we walked down the sidewalk, then slipped onto the narrow path that ran the length of the block on the utility easement.

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“Why do you think? A lot more has come out about that Dean guy.

Mom’s real upset. Marc did some really, really bad stuff, Corbin.”

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. I just can’t believe he’d... He wasn’t all that nice, but...”

“He was worse than you thought, but he wasn’t all bad.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what else had come to light. What I truly desired was for all this to be over.

“How do you know about this path anyway? You hate the outdoors.”

“You don’t know everything about me. I have a life and you don’t need to know how I know about it. How do you know about it?” Charles asked.

“Don’t tell anyone this, but I’m a spy. I use this route to go on secret missions.”

“Uh huh.”

We squeezed through the hedge at the back of our yard and entered through the back door.

“Got him,” Charles said as we entered the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” I asked Mom and Will as they stood in the kitchen, where they paused in their preparation of supper. Mom’s eyes were red from crying again.

“Why don’t you come in the living room?” Will asked.

Uh oh, this was bad. I followed him. Charles remained with Mom.

“That boy who killed Dean Coven has been talking to the police and a lot of information is coming out. Your brother was not only procuring boys for Dean for cash, he participated in at least a few of the rapes and murders.”

The color drained from my face.

“He couldn’t... he wouldn’t...” Even as I said it, I knew my words weren’t true. Hadn’t I suspected this? Bad memories awakened inside me about things my older brother had done to me. I pushed them aside for the moment. They were thoughts for my next session.

“I’m afraid he did. There was a boy before Marc, Frank Moody, who did the same thing until Dean raped and murdered him. Your brother took over for Frank until Dean made a demand that Marc refused.”

“What was that?”

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“He wanted him to bring you and your brothers to him.”

“But, I was already... you know.”

“Yes, but Dean wanted more than that. He wanted to rape and murder the three of you and he wanted Marc to participate.”

“That’s...” there wasn’t a word horrible enough, so that’s all I said.

“Marc refused. Dean and Frank overpowered him and then raped, tortured and murdered him instead.”

I swallowed a few times trying to keep the tears that had welled up in my eyes from spilling over. This was too messed up. Marc... He was mostly certainly not a good brother, but he had died to save Charles, Mikey and me. I couldn’t bear to think of his last minutes and shuddered to think that the same thing had very nearly happened to me. I wanted to kill Dean, but Jeffery had beaten me to it.

“This keeps getting worse and worse.”

“Yes, it does. Your name has come up.”

“Shit. Am I going to jail?”

“I need to ask you a couple of things before I answer that.”

I began to tremble with fear. I was going to be locked up. At the very least, I’d be sent to juvie. My life was over.

“Okay,” I managed to say.

“Did you know anything about Dean raping and murdering boys?”

“Of course I didn’t! When he attacked and raped me, I thought he was trying to scare me and force me to do what he wanted. I thought he might kill me because he was so angry with me, but I didn’t suspect until much later he might be doing more than paying boys like me for sex.”

“I didn’t think you knew anything about that. You are not the kind of person who does things like that, or let them go on if you know about them, but I needed to ask. What exactly did you do during your relationship with Dean?”

I told him about Dean blowing me for cash, then about getting other boys for him that I knew would be up for making some bucks. They were boys who worked Critchlow’s Corner so they were already doing that sort of thing and Dean paid well. I was embarrassed to do so, but I told Will everything.

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“Good. I doubt you’ll be charged with anything, Corbin, but if you are, we’ll get you a good lawyer.”

I gulped. Could this get any worse?

Will left me alone while he went to speak with Mom. When Marc took me to see Dean the first time, I was scared, but liked the idea of making quick cash. I never thought that Mom might find out someday, that everyone might find out.

I froze. Everyone was going to find out. Everyone was going to know what I’d done. Everyone.

I crept up near the window and looked out. There were reporters out there and a film crew. I watched as they talked to Jerry. What was he telling them?

Even though Mom and Will had baked homemade pizzas for supper, it was hard to enjoy them because Mom was so upset. The table was too quiet. Even Mikey wasn’t talking. Seeing Mom like this troubled him.

“We need to have a family talk to discuss what is happening,” Mom said when we were nearly finished.

I hated family meetings, and I had the feeling this would be the worst one ever.

Will did most of the talking at first. He calmly told my brothers what Marc had done. I thought Mom might keep it from Charles and especially Mikey, but apparently, she thought it best they hear it at home because doubtless they would hear it elsewhere soon enough.

“Marc really did those things?” Mikey asked.

“Yes,” Mom said. “He did. I have to ask you a hard question now and I want the truth. Did Marc ever do anything to any of you, anything he shouldn’t?”

Charles and Mikey shook their heads. I began to cry.

Everyone looked at me as I nodded. Mom began to cry, and then my brothers. Even Will had tears in his eyes. I told them how Marc molested me. I didn’t get graphic, but I told them. Doing so humiliated me and made me feel ashamed, and yet having all the secrets come out was liberating.

“None of that was your fault, Corbin,” Will said.

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“No, it wasn’t, Sweetheart. I’m so sorry he did those things to you.

I’m so sorry, I didn’t stop it.”

“You didn’t know, Mom, and I was too ashamed and afraid to tell you.”

Everything came out as we sat at the kitchen table. Everything. I was humiliated and beyond embarrassed. I was horrified for anyone, especially my mom and little brothers, to know what Marc had done to me, and now they knew.

“Will and I have discussed it and I’m going to pull you boys out of school, for now,” Mom said.

“Out of school?” Charles asked, horrified.

“I will gather all your assignments, bring them to you and help you with them in the evenings,” Will said.

“I don’t want to subject you to all the attention or to what may be said to you at school or in public,” Mom said. “Those reporters out front aren’t going to go away and a lot of attention will be focused on us because of Marc.”

My brother was still hurting me. Even from the grave he turned my life upside down.

“For how long?” Mikey asked.

“I don’t know that yet,” Mom said.

Poor Mom. She was dealing with so much all at once. This had to be a mother’s nightmare. I was glad Will was here. I wasn’t sure how to help her.

“But, I want to go to school,” Charles complained. I grasped his forearm and shook my head. He shut up about it.

“I think we’re done for now, but don’t go outside, except for the back yard.”

My brothers and I left the table and walked into the living room.

“This bites! I hate Marc!” Charles said.

“Don’t say that,” Mikey said as his lower lip trembled.

“It’s okay, Mikey,” I said, wrapping my arm around him. “You know how Charles loves school. He’s very upset right now.”

“Why did you do that stuff, the bad stuff?” Mikey asked me.

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His innocent eyes looking up at me were about more than I could take.

I guided him and Charles to the sofa.

“I was trying to help Mom. We needed the money. I’ve been paying some of the bills without her knowing and I sneak in groceries and stuff. I made a mistake. I made a lot of mistakes. I shouldn’t have done any of that stuff, but I didn’t know what else to do and I didn’t want any of us to be cold or hungry. I know you’re ashamed of me, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

Mikey hugged me.

“I’m not ashamed of you at all. You are the best older brother in the whole world!”

“Thanks, Mikey,” I said, with tears in my eyes. I felt like I had tears in my eyes all the time now.

“I’m not ashamed of you either. Thank you, Corbin, for trying to take care of us. I know I’m a pain sometimes and I complain a lot, but you are a great older brother, and you feel kind of like a dad, too. I’m so very sorry you had to do those things. Don’t do any of that again because of me. I’d rather starve.”

“Me, too!” Mikey said.

“I don’t do that anymore. Thank you, guys. You’re the best brothers ever. I love you!”

“I love you, too.”

“Me, too!”

We hugged. My life was ruined for the most part, but I still had my family and that’s what mattered most.

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Chapter Seventeen

For the first time in my life, I had to give something called a deposition. A guy from the prosecutor’s office came up all the way from Texas to ask me questions and write everything down. Will was with me and so was a friend of his who was a lawyer.

I was scared, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It did take a very long time, but I discovered that I wasn’t going to be charged with anything. Even before he arrived, the guy from the prosecutor’s office knew I didn’t have anything to do with the rapes or murders. When he asked me if I knew anything about that and I answered, he told me that those questioned in Texas, including Jeffrey Parkinson, had said I had nothing to do with any of that. I was informed that the prosecution might call me as a witness if Jeffrey’s case went to trial, but that it was likely he’d plea bargain.

After the guy from Texas left, Will explained what he’d meant by plea bargain. It made sense to me for Jeffery to do that, but he was still looking at years and years in prison. I wondered how many lives Dean had destroyed. He’d messed mine up plenty and I was the luckiest of the lot. I shuddered to think of what had happened to all those boys and my brother.

Mom kept us out of school, and out of public, too. None of us were allowed to talk to reporters. Mom didn’t either. Will had his lawyer friend issue a statement and answer questions.

No one was allowed to come inside until Eddie knocked on the door. I pleaded with Mom with my eyes. She smiled and welcomed him in.

“I hope you can stay for supper,” Mom said.

“Yes, please!”

“Let’s go to my room,” I said.

“Leave your door open,” Mom called after us.

“Yes, Mother,” I said.

We hugged as soon as we were inside and shared a brief kiss.

“Everyone misses you at school,” Eddie said.

“I bet they’re all talking about me.”

“All the time. You are famous.”

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“No doubt everyone is talking about me being a hustler and the brother of a rapist and murderer.”

“Well, yes, but Jerry and I set them straight and told them why you were hustling. There are those who think you were in on what happened in Texas, but fuck them. Your real friends know you’re incapable of that. You should have seen Joe Sessay lay into a group of seniors who were talking shit about you. I thought he was going to take them all on, but Mr. Ellis put an end to it.”

“I used to hate him, but he’s really something. Tell him I appreciate it.”

“I will.”

“I don’t know if I can ever go back. I don’t think I can face anyone at school.”

“Mostly, everyone is worried about you. There are those who think you were in on it with your brother, but the vast majority see you as a victim.”

“Everyone still knows.”

“I’m afraid so.”

“It’s my own doing. I’ve made some very bad choices.”

“Anyone might have done the same in your place.”

I shrugged.

“Anyway, Elizabeth says, ‘hi.’ The entire cast does actually. I’m supposed to tell you that they miss you and hope you’re as well as you can be under the circumstances.”

“Tell them all, ‘hi,’ back, thanks and that I miss them all, too.”

“Will do. I’ve missed you the most.”

“You’ve just missed...” I grabbed my bulge and squeezed it.

“That, too, but I’ve missed seeing you and talking to you.”

“You can keep coming to see me. I’m not allowed out, but you can come here, if you want. I’ll understand if...”

“Oh, I will be here so often I’ll be a nuisance. I love you, Corbin Cooper and you’re also my best friend.”

I grinned. Despite everything, I felt wonderful in that moment.

***

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I didn’t think there was any way I could watch Eddie perform in Romeo

& Juliet, but Eddie and Jerry hatched a plan. We considered doing it behind Mom’s back, but I was finished with dishonesty. Thankfully, my mom agreed to it, but only if Jerry stuck to me like glue. He assured her he’d be my personal bodyguard.

I couldn’t go to every performance I wanted, so we set our plan in motion for the Saturday night show. The reporters had stopped hanging around out front after they received all the information they figured they were likely to get, but still we took no chances.

After changing into the disguise Jerry had brought me, I used the path behind our houses to slip into Jerry’s back yard and then into his van. I sat in the passenger seat, wearing my dark sunglasses as if I was a movie star hiding from paparazzi.

“You look good in that letterman’s jacket. You should have played football, Man,” Jerry said.

“Just because I look good in the jacket?”

“Hell yeah!”

I laughed. “Whose jacket is this, anyway?”

“It is on loan from Joe Sessay.”

“No shit?”

Jerry laughed. “Yeah, he said he hopes it makes up some of the times he was a dick.”

“Eddie told me he’s been taking up for me. Tell him his debt is paid in full, and thanks.”

“Joe has changed a lot. He isn’t a tool anymore. He credits the change to you.”

“I don’t think I did that much.”

“I think you made him realize how big of an asshole he was. Everyone, including me, likes him a lot more now.”

I shrugged, but I was happy for Joe.

“When we arrived, Jerry’s van was immediately surrounded by his football buds, all wearing their letterman’s jackets. They surrounded us as we walked into the back of the school and toward the auditorium, completely screening me from view. It made me feel even more like a movie star.

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Jerry handed me a ticket, but soon took it from me to hand to the usher while I lowered my head and looked away. Soon, I was seated in a small sea of football players. In the low lightning, no one gave me a second look. Who knew jocks could be so freaking amazing? I swore to myself I’d never make another dumb jock joke as long as I lived.

Romeo & Juliet was superb, and Eddie was marvelous! I almost could not believe my boyfriend was up there on the stage. Eddie was always so very handsome, but in his costume, damn, and that bulge. Mmm. He looked mighty fine from the back, too. I wished he could wear his Romeo costume to my house and we could be alone so that I could... I had to stop that line of thought fast because it totally drew my attention from the play.

I knew the boys in the cast would be in for a lot of teasing in the coming days. I would have been, too, if I could have remained in the cast, but I wouldn’t have minded. It would be a reminder of the fun of the play.

My smile faltered. I hated missing out on participating. I’d missed out on so much in my life. I was sixteen and felt like I’d never truly had the chance to be a kid. I sighed, but then pushed those thoughts away. That was something for one of my sessions with Ms. Renaud. I was here to watch my wonderful boyfriend perform, and to check out his butt and bulge in tights. My smile returned.

I was so pulled into the play that I was truly upset when Romeo died. I had to remind myself that it wasn’t real, and that Romeo would sit up and walk away after the curtain closed. Eddie was the best Romeo ever, although I might have been a bit biased. Elizabeth was an amazing Juliet, too, although she needed to keep her hands off my boyfriend. He was mine, all mine!

I wish I could have talked to the cast after the play, but I could not stay.

Jerry and his teammates escorted me out, shielding me from view as before. Soon, I was safe back inside the van.

“Thanks, Guys. I truly appreciate this. I won’t forget it. You guys are amazing. You almost make me wish I wasn’t too wimpy to play football.”

The jocks laughed, waved and departed. Jerry and I were alone in the front of his van.

“How about that ass, huh?” Jerry asked as he started the van.

“Yeah, and just think, it’s mine.”

“Been there, done that,” Jerry said and laughed.

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“Yeah, well you’ve done me too. It makes me wonder how many other guys you’ve seduced. How many of your teammates have you had?”

“Somewhere between none and all.”

“You need to write a book about your exploits someday, Jerry.”

“Maybe, after my college and NFL career.”

“I hope that works out for you.”

“I hope things work out for you, too, Corbin.”

“I’m not sure if they can. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to return to school. Too many think I was in on Dean’s activities.”

“There are plenty of stupid people in the world who will believe almost anything. I’m not one of them. There is no way you could do something like that.”

“No, I couldn’t. I keep wondering how my brother could. He wasn’t a good guy, but he wasn’t all bad either. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how he could do those things.”

“Maybe you don’t need to, Corbin. Yeah, he was your brother, but he’s not you.”

“True. Thanks for all this, Jerry.”

“Hey, I owe you for the good times.”

“I thought I owed you.”

Jerry grinned.

Soon, I was back home in my room. I carefully put the program for the play in a safe place. I’d keep it as a reminder of this wonderful night.

***

It’s easy to think life will go on and on, without significant change. I’d learned that wasn’t true when I was twelve years old. I learned it again when we moved from Texas, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that my life was about to radically change once more, but I was when Mom and Will called my brothers and I into the kitchen for another family meeting, and this change hit me like a fist to the face.

“What’s this about?” I asked, once we were all seated.

“We are moving again,” Mom said.

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“What? I’m just getting used to living here,” Mikey said. “I’ve made friends and I like my teacher and...”

“I know. I know, but after everything that’s happened, we can’t stay here. There’s no way any of you can go back to school or I can continue to work with everyone knowing what Marc did. We can never have a peaceful, normal life here.”

“Mom, it will be the same anywhere we go,” Charles said. “Marc is famous now, in a very bad way.”

“We’re making some changes.” Mom looked to Will.

“As you know, I’m going to marry your mother and adopt the three of you.”

Will still wanted to do that after everything that had happened and everything he knew about Marc and me?

“Yeah, and...” Charles said.

“Your mother and I hope that the three of you will take my last name.”

“So, I’ll be Mikey Shakespeare? M.S. I like it.”

Mikey was upset moments ago, but now he seemed excited. Did I change moods that fast when I was a kid?

“Works for me,” Charles said without a moment’s hesitation.

I nodded. I hadn’t considered changing my name, but I liked the idea.

It would be a way to start over. I would no longer be Corbin Cooper. When we moved, he’d disappear and I’d be Corbin Shakespeare. Maybe, I could leave my past behind.

“This is so no one will know who we are, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Partly. We want all of you to have a new start. We don’t want you to have to live with everything that happened in Texas hanging over your heads,” Mom said.

“I also love you all very much, and already think of you as my sons,”

Will said.

His words would have freaked me out and even disturbed me a few weeks ago, but after everything that had happened, and the way he’d become a part of our lives, I felt like a missing part of my life snapped into place.

Mikey got up and hugged Will. He needed a dad more than any of us, but truthfully, Charles and I needed one, too. I’d tried to fill in for our

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absent father, and in doing so had made a mess of my life. It would be a relief to actually have a dad again. No, not again. Mikey, Charles and I had a father, but we’d never had a dad, until now.

“Where are we moving?” I asked.

“Southern California, a wonderful little town called Dolphin’s Cove.

You’ll love it and the schools are great there. I already have a new job lined up,” Will said. “Think of it as a vacation. We’ll stop in Vegas, where Joyce and I will be married, then continue on to California. As soon as we can get your names legally changed, you can attend school again.”

“Yes!” Charles said.

“No hurry on that,” I said, but grinned. “Dolphin’s Cove, does that mean it’s close to the ocean?”

“Duh!” Charles said.

“It’s a beach town,” Mom said.

“Yes!” I said. “I can learn to surf and become a California beach boy!”

My smile faded. Eddie. We were moving away. I’d never see him again.

“Are you okay, Corbin?” Mom asked.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. It’s just hard to think about moving again so soon.”

“I know, but hopefully this will be the last time. I wish we could stay here, but we simply can’t.”

Marc was interfering with my life from the grave again. Would I ever be free of him?

Mom and Will showed us travel brochures and other information they’d gathered. Dolphin’s Cove was a gorgeous place and had a huge pier. I would have been excited to live there if it wasn’t for Eddie. He was the reason I hadn’t fallen apart. How could I survive without him? How could I leave him? How could I tell him I was moving all the way across the country?

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind for the moment and did my best to seem excited. I actually was excited, but I was also devastated.

I sat alone in my room later, thinking things through. Mom and Will were right. We would never be able to continue living here. My brother was the accomplice of one of the worst mass murderers in history. Marc had raped and killed some of those boys himself. Plenty of people probably

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thought I did, too. I never did anything like that, but I was sure many would never believe it. Corbin Cooper could never live a normal life in Verona, or anywhere. Everyone knew me. Everyone knew what I’d done and many assumed I’d done worse. Corbin Cooper couldn’t continue to exist. He had to slip away and disappear.

Knowing that this was the way things had to be didn’t make leaving any easier. I wished I could go back to school, talk and laugh with the drama crowd at lunch and maybe get a part in the next play, but that was not to be.

It was funny how much I missed all that now. I hadn’t appreciated it enough while I had it. I’d try not to make the same mistake in the future.

I wished I could delay telling Eddie, but he’d know something was wrong the moment he saw me. The move was taking place soon. Will had already given his notice at VHS and his house and ours were going up for sale. I didn’t want Eddie to be greeted by a ‘For Sale’ sign the next time he came over. As much as I wanted to put it off, I couldn’t.

Eddie stopped by the next day after school. He looked upset the moment I opened the door. Had he somehow already found out?

“Hey,” he said, looking sadder than I’d ever seen him.

“Hey.”

We walked to my room. This was going to be so hard. How I wished I didn’t have to tell him. How I wished I didn’t have to leave.

“I have something I need...” we both said at once.

“Can I go first? I want to get this over with,” Eddie said.

I nodded, half fearing he was about to break up with me, but would that matter now?

“I really like you, Corbin. I love you and I wish we could remain together.” Eddie hesitated. He was breaking up with me. What else could it be? “There’s no good way to say this. My dad found his dream job.

We’re moving… to California.”

“California?” I asked, a slight smile beginning to form on my lips.

“I know. It sucks and I’m so sorry. I don’t want to leave you, but I have no choice. I have to go with my family.”

“Where in California?” I asked. Maybe Eddie wouldn’t be so far away.

I could get my license and...

“It’s a little town call Dolphin’s Cove.”

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“Are you messing with me?” I asked incredulously.

The coincidence was too much. Maybe I’d heard him wrong. Maybe it was a joke, but no, Eddie would never be that cruel. Maybe I was dreaming. That was the most likely explanation, but most of my dreams were nightmares.

“I wouldn’t do that to you, Corbin. You know that.”

I simply stared at him for a few moments, a grin spreading across my face.

“No fucking way!” I said, too loudly. “Dolphin’s Cove, California. Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure, but...” Eddie looked totally confused now.

“I can’t believe this! This is amazing! This is brilliant!”

I felt ready to explode with happiness.

“I thought you’d be upset I’m leaving,” Eddie said, obviously hurt.

“Dude! Dude! Dude! We’re moving to Dolphin’s Cove, California!

That’s what I was going to tell you!”

Eddie eyed me.

“Are you messing with me?” he asked. I guess it was his turn to doubt.

“No, listen,” I said and then filled him in on our family meeting.

We hugged each other, then kissed. The kissing turned into a serious make out session. It was several minutes before we pulled apart. Luckily, no one caught us.

“When are you moving?” Eddie asked.

“Next week. You?”

“In two weeks.”

I grinned.

“I can’t believe this. What are the odds?” I asked.

“You could ask Charles; he can probably figure it out.”

“It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s true.”

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Chapter Eighteen

Dolphin’s Cove, California

October 1972

I pedaled through the streets of Dolphin’s Cove toward the ocean, which was not much more than a five-minute bike ride from our house.

When we left Verona a little over a week before, the autumn air had already taken on a chill, but I was dressed only in my blue and white Hawaiian flowered swimsuit and sneakers and was actually sweating a little. The weather here was more like that in Texas than Indiana, only not so humid.

I parked my bike and walked out onto the beach. This was by no means my first visit, not even today, but I was as taken as ever by the wide stretch of sand. It was quite a walk from where the beach started to the actual shore.

I put my towel over my shoulder and began to walk, my heart racing with anticipation. I looked at my watch. The time we’d set for meeting was only ten minutes away. I’d spoken with Eddie on the phone soon after his family had arrived yesterday, and again this morning, but talking to him wasn’t enough. I needed to see him and I was only minutes away from doing so.

A little part of me still couldn’t believe he was actually here. Both of us moving to the same town in California seemed so unlikely that I knew I wouldn’t trust it was real until he stood before me. The universe had not been kind to me and this seemed far too good to be true.

I angled toward the massive pier where we were meeting. There was no way Eddie could miss it. I was so excited to see him I trembled.

I had left Verona, Indiana and my life there behind. I was in the process of becoming Corbin Shakespeare, a boy without a dark past who wasn’t connected to the worst mass murderer ever. I had a chance to start over and was already beginning to remake myself into a California surfer boy, although I hadn’t actually learned how to surf yet.

There he was, standing near the pier, already looking like a surfer with his long straight blond hair and blue eyes. I ran toward him. He turned and spotted me.

“Corbin!”

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He raced toward me. We met and hugged just like they do in the movies. My life was now complete.

“You’re really here!” I said.

“Yeah! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. If we were alone, I would so kiss you.”

“And, we wouldn’t be able to stop kissing,” I said, grinning, “but we’ll get to that soon enough. I’m so glad you’re here.”

I hugged him again. I wanted to hold his hand, but I didn’t think that would go unnoticed even in California.

“Is this place for real?” Eddie said, looking around.

“Awesome, isn’t it? The water is perfect. I swim every day. Will says I can start surfing lessons soon. You have to join me.”

“It’s so warm here and I love the ocean breeze. I don’t think we’re in Indiana anymore, Toto.”

“Nope, and that is fine with me. Come on!”

I pulled Eddie toward the water and toward our new life together in California. I didn’t know what awaited us, but it almost had to be better than what I’d left behind. I knew that as long as I was with Eddie, everything would work out fine.

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Document Outline

- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- Chapter Eight
- Chapter Nine
- Chapter Ten
- Chapter Eleven
- Chapter Twelve
- Chapter Thirteen
- Chapter Fourteen
- Chapter Fifteen
- Chapter Sixteen
- Chapter Seventeen
- Chapter Eighteen

Table of Contents

- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- Chapter Eight
- Chapter Nine
- Chapter Ten
- Chapter Eleven
- Chapter Twelve
- Chapter Thirteen
- Chapter Fourteen
- Chapter Fifteen
- Chapter Sixteen
- Chapter Seventeen
- Chapter Eighteen